Need Input....

[blixation]

I don't want this thread to sound like another sobbing, "what do I do" case. But, I just want some input from different perspectives. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months, not that very long. During our relationship at times we talk briefly of the issues of getting close to someone without getting close to him or her physical, showing affection that is. Now I know there is nothing wrong with showing spiritual, emotional, and physical affection and affirmation, if it's done under certain guidelines. So this takes my girlfriend and I to the issue of kissing. We both had decided that we were not going to kiss, I have no problem with giving a kiss cultural reasons for me, but since she wanted to wait until after she was engaged I understood that and I was completely supportive of her decision since she has never kiss a guy before (something I have admired in her). A side note is that our relationship is my girlfriends first, but not my first.

Now this build-up leads to this: last night for the first time in our relationship and for the first time in her life .…..we kissed, well, we made out for awhile even though we knew that we should have waited. I know she said this next statement so innocently and sincerely, but what she said was far more than I was looking for, saying after we kissed quote, “I have waited such a long time for this.” Now this may not seem like a big deal BUT, these words she said after we kissed stabbed me so deep in my soul my knees go weak with guilt. My heart runs red with conviction. Now the reason this statement is ripping me apart is that I feel like I have taken away such an innocent part from her, knowingly too, that she should have given this new experience to her husband. I am not married to her neither am I engaged to her. So in a nutshell a lucky guy like me who has kissed her on her first kiss is not so lucky afterall, I feel like I have torn the walls of standards down that she has laid and trampled them hither to.

What is YOUR input on this situation?

 

[Eluzai]

Yep... to be honest I think you shouldn't have kissed her. But God's grace is big enough. If you know it's wrong do your best not to do it again. Pray about it. Tell her how you feel. Try not to let it go any further (it's a sliding scale like that). Don't feel like its a total disaster... because God can use failure for good. Rely on Him and seek after His heart on the issue.

Sorry if that wasn't helpful.

 

[boilerblues]

I agree. You let something slip. It's not good, but you can step back and reset boundries and move on. Examine where you need to set good boundries in your relationship and guard them carefully. It's not as big of a mistake as if you had slept together and people have worked through that in the past. It's something you can work through in your relationship and grow from.

 

[LegomasterJC]

Wow I've never heard it from the other side of the story before. Usually the one I hear is the one that kissed and regretted it because they weren't able to give their first kiss to their husband/wife. But Yours is so unselfish and thinking of her and how you feel that you took something away from her. Sounds to me like you don't feel like you are the one that will marry her. It would be great did end up getting married with a lasting relationship... Life isn't always such a nice ride though.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

This sounds like you realized what it means to her and that by doing so you're making a serious commitment to her . . . a commitment you're not ready to make?

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Don't Panic!

I don't see any error committed yet. First kisses are kinda special.

But do this. Your reaction to her statement can serve as a warning for the depth of emotion that is attached to physicality. In a way you are responsible for these feelings in her. So act responsibly, knowing that the deeper you go, the deeper she will be into you. This knowledge that you have not just heard before but now have an understanding will help both of you out. It's natural to desire. You both will desire. But there is a time and place for it. Out of place it can cause a lot of damage. Most of us figure this out the hard way.
That didn't come out very well, but I hope you get what I'm saying.

 

[blixation]

Thank you all for your input on this. I appreciate it very much. We are planning to talk about it soon when our schedules calm down a bit this week. we'll talk about it, pray about it, and move and grow from there.

I guess I feel guilty because even though I'm planning to be with her (In time marry her), I still feel like I should have honored her regardless of intentions.

 

[SOLDOUT4HIM]

You shouldn't have kissed her. You still can keep that boundary. It is like ppl who have lost their virginity. She can be a renewed NBK. I don't believe I will kiss again until I am engaged and I have done it many times. God can give us a new beginning if we want it.

 

[Ember Jilespie]

I think you stated it well. It's accurate and wise.

Don't Panic!

I don't see any error committed yet. First kisses are kinda special.

But do this. Your reaction to her statement can serve as a warning for the depth of emotion that is attached to physicality. In a way you are responsible for these feelings in her. So act responsibly, knowing that the deeper you go, the deeper she will be into you. This knowledge that you have not just heard before but now have an understanding will help both of you out. It's natural to desire. You both will desire. But there is a time and place for it. Out of place it can cause a lot of damage. Most of us figure this out the hard way.
That didn't come out very well, but I hope you get what I'm saying.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

How did you find that? I thought I got rid of all my posts. but I will say that this world needs more kisses and less people worrying about kissing someone. we have one life on this planet. don't suck at it. don't be Dostoevsky's idiot. live it. enjoy it. love everyone you can. when you are about to die I promise you wont worry about whether or not you should have kissed someone. enjoy that moment. it is a beautiful moment. life doesn't have many of those. I pity you if you regret one of them. moments like these are a breath of air in the unending sorrow we endure until we die.