Need help

[Yume16]

Hi I'm Yume16

I'm needing help with something and that would be my manga I'm working on, I need some ideas so that it won't be the same like every sort of manga, I want it to be different (in a good way) and that it leaves an impact on the person that will hopefully will read it. Plus the genre will be adventure, romance, shounen, fantasy and comedy (age rating will be ages 13 and up )

Let me tell you what it's about so far (oh and what's it called and the characters), the title is Ayame (which means Iris in Japanese). Any who, the main character Ayame (yes the manga is named after her, I like the name a lot), finds herself in a world where she isn't familiar with, she goes off trying to find someone who could help her, she then bumps into Chiizu (it's cheese in Japanese if you use Katakana) who is busy being chased by a couple of victims of her pranks (Chiizu is a 10 year old, so pranks are well known) but Ayame misunderstands what's going on and starts running from everyone thinking that she's done something wrong with Chiizu. After a while they stop and Ayame asks what was that all about, Chiizu merely shrugs and introduces herself when Ayame notices her (Chiizu) has Cat ears and tail, which send Ayame into a state of shock thinking that she is hallucinating from after running, Chiizu assures her that she isn't and that she should come with her to get where she was. Chiizu takes Ayame to a friend of hers (Chiizu's friend) who is an older brother to her, Ikito, Ayame then again notices the elf ears and thinks that she's going mad, which again Chiizu assures her that she isn't. Chizu then states that Ikito can answer her questions and her confusion, she agrees, she asks where is she, and Ikito merely says that she's in a dream (a.k.a. Dream World) due to something happening in our world which leads her here (no she didn't die), and that the only way to get back home (or awaken) she has to travel different dreams (cause there are more then one dream) to the one where it's an exist for her, there is only one problem, nobody has been able to travel to each dream world, for each dream had different rules and that the people ruling this dream world forbid the use of the travelling doors (doors that go to different place) for a strange reason nobody knows. And that is all I have so far but basically she's trying to wake from the dream worlds but she is also going to be helping people that she meets in order for them to awaken from a dream

So any ideas, please tell me

 

[ChloeJM]

Hi Yume16! Right, I'll try my best!

Well it seems pretty interesting so far. I feel like, before you jump into the dream world, you should introduce Ayame in the normal world at the beginning so that the audience can understand her connection with her normal life and then sympathize with her more when she enters this dream world. OR maybe you could highlight in the middle of the manga what her past life was like. It just helps the reader respond better with Ayame's situation.

I think you need to establish who the main enemy is for her, what's stopping her from travelling from door to door. Then we need to know who's going to be her allies to conquer them. I would possibly create some villains that eventually become her friends too, its useful when you're trying to create an inspirational character who can do this.

For comedy, I think you shouldn't try too hard... some people try too hard in every panel and it becomes distasteful. But when the moment arises where you know that it's definitely going to be funny, snatch it!

To make Ayame unique and different to every other heroine, I think you should make her work hard. By this, I mean don't give her power boosts or special powers straight off the bat. Stress at the beginning that she is vulnerable in the dream world, but as the story progresses the reader should be able to go on a journey with Ayame as she works hard to gain power and overcome her enemies. This also includes emotional relationships, she should develop in understanding of what it means to say be a great friend or to love someone.

When Ayame starts to travel through all of these dreams, you should let other characters (Chiizu, others she meets along the way) tag along with her so that we form personal connections with them and make the manga much more enjoyable.

DON'T make the romance cheesy (I don't mean Chiizu XD), just make sure the romance isn't rushed or soppy. Make something tragic or wowing happen to act as a catalyst for a romance. For example: If you wanted Ayame x Chiizu, then you could cause Chiizu to nearly sacrifice his life for Ayame by shutting himself in a dream, but then he survives or something and she realises how much he cares and there the romance blossoms. Don't make it a love at first site, way too generic.

The dream world is a great basis though! You can create so many cool worlds and such. You could even have a dream world that's a parallel universe to her world.

Well they were just some of my initial thoughts. Let me know what you think! It's fine if you hate all of my suggestions. XD

 

[Yume16]

Thank you for the suggestions, I wasn't really sure if anyone would reply back, but I'll take your ideas into consideration and if you have anymore you can tell me.
Plus I quite like the idea of tragic events and memories because it shows the characters in another light, also with the romance parts of the manga (not going to be easy cause I can't come up with any good ones without it being cheesy) and I'll be focusing on the friendships first, also the enemies I was thinking of them being nightmares of any kind, cause you know nightmares scare people, so why not use them. Anyway once I get my first chapter done and is published, I'll show you the chapter to see if you think this is any good. Once again Thank you, and God Bless You

P.S. Also like then idea of using a parallel dream world, that would totally work, thanks

 

[ChloeJM]

I love the tragic events and dreams idea, that would work really well with the whole story! It'll be so awesome to see a completed chapter by you! I hope it all goes well, God bless you too and I'm sure He will guide you in the right way in the vision for this manga ^.^