hello, i'm new to posting on this site. i am in my early forties and divorced for well over a year from a man who was a drug addict and mentally ill and could not stop. i recently got involved with another man, and started to fall hard for him. however, he has since pulled away and feels we are both not ready right now - he thinks i need time to process/ heal from my broken relationship and the baggage i may carry from it. (as a side note, i was trying even after the divorce to keep my relationship w/ my ex, but he just couldn't stop and so i had to walk away). anyway, there is nothing i can do - except to feel pain and rejection. i hate that i am going through this. does anyone have any advice as to how to walk though this? i pray for God to lift my feelings, but it's so hard. any advice from people who have been there is welcome.
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Need help!
- Thread starter Meree
- Start date
Haven't been through your situation, but I think you do need to find some healing / love through Christ before you are ready for another relationship. How do you this? Prayer, Bible reading, fellowship with other Christians, accepting that we all go through rough times that we may not understand.
Perhaps going to a Christian counselor would help you get through some of these feelings.
I don't think God will lift your feelings, but He can help you get through it. Often as we walk through the hard times, we will come closer to God.
My advice hollow to me even as I write it, but I hope it helps a little.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope"
You need to work on feeling whole again before you can fully invest yourself in another relationship. If you go into a new relationship thinking that it will heal you, it's going to cause more pain further down the road when you realize that you still haven't dealt with it.
Perhaps going to a Christian counselor would help you get through some of these feelings.
I don't think God will lift your feelings, but He can help you get through it. Often as we walk through the hard times, we will come closer to God.
My advice hollow to me even as I write it, but I hope it helps a little.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope"
You need to work on feeling whole again before you can fully invest yourself in another relationship. If you go into a new relationship thinking that it will heal you, it's going to cause more pain further down the road when you realize that you still haven't dealt with it.
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Thanks so much for replying - your message helps a lot. This is the third time that that exact reference from Jeremiah has come up since yesterday - all from completely different places. It seems more than coincidence! I need to trust that God will be there as I ride this out. And you are right - I know I need more time before starting something new with another person. Thanks for taking the time to respond.
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Third time each from different places? Well, I'd say that's a neat coincidence but I don't believe in them 
There is a section on these forums for people who have been divorced
http://www.christianforums.com/f246/
You might try posting there, maybe there's some people who have gone through similar situations.
Some things like broken relationships are just going to take a lot of time and effort regardless of what you do. Even if you're doing the best thing you can for yourself to get through it, it's still going to take time. As much as I wanted my depression to be gone over the years, it always took time. And I'm too impatient....
I would keep in touch with someone you trust and have them be accountable for you if possible. That way they can occasionally check to see how you are doing, if you're still healing, working on things. Or if you're struggling they can help you get through it.
But if that's not possible, God will still be there. And He shows us love through all kinds of ways. In the Bible, through music, through things we read, through things we see. All kinds of things.
Like Jeremiah 29:11 coming up 3 times from 3 different places. That's not "luck". That's God saying "Hey, I'm here and I'm going to get you through this."
There is a section on these forums for people who have been divorced
http://www.christianforums.com/f246/
You might try posting there, maybe there's some people who have gone through similar situations.
Some things like broken relationships are just going to take a lot of time and effort regardless of what you do. Even if you're doing the best thing you can for yourself to get through it, it's still going to take time. As much as I wanted my depression to be gone over the years, it always took time. And I'm too impatient....
I would keep in touch with someone you trust and have them be accountable for you if possible. That way they can occasionally check to see how you are doing, if you're still healing, working on things. Or if you're struggling they can help you get through it.
But if that's not possible, God will still be there. And He shows us love through all kinds of ways. In the Bible, through music, through things we read, through things we see. All kinds of things.
Like Jeremiah 29:11 coming up 3 times from 3 different places. That's not "luck". That's God saying "Hey, I'm here and I'm going to get you through this."
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