Need help!

[MetalBlade]

Things have been going some what smoothly. I am going to be graduating soon, and though this semester is rough, class wise, I am getting out more and having fun. But I am still having problems. Last year I had a crush on that old friend of mine from high school... I don't know if anyone remembers that thread(s). Anyway, things didn't work out, but all the people who said it wouldn't affect our relationship were right. We are still friends and still talk.

So anyway, I have been trying to move on. I kind of had this crush on this girl I met when I moved into my dorm. She was the first person I talked to when I moved away. Well we started hanging out more often, and I started to get to know her better -hopefully progressing things further. That however derailed when I found out she was a lesbian, and had just recently broken up with her ex-girlfriend. I mean, yeah I support her now I guess, but what am I doing wrong?

I just get fed up with always falling in love with the wrong girls. Yeah you can feed me the lines that someone is out there for me and I will find that person. You can even say, well don't even worry about that right now, you are young! But sometimes I want to give up all together! My friend quoted me this, and sorry I am not sure where it comes from, but nonetheless:

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone

-but it takes a lifetime to forget them.

Which pretty much sums up every crush/relationship I have ever been in...

le sigh!

 

[Balugon]

Maybe God is letting u go through these things for a reason. It is possible. I wouldnt know the exact reason, but maybe its just something u will find out or something.

And u can always ask God to have a hand in ur relationships (not just the romantic ones, but all the ones u have with females in general), and then, if u ask Him to guide u to the right girl, and to not let u do something stupid (as in, like getting ready to marry the wrong one), u can rest in His care, knowing that He will take care of it, and that ur own fleshy desires wont be able to do u in.

And yea, that is, if God has a wife planned for ur life. And many people say that, and there is that exception, but I think if u look at the saints as a whole, most of them, except for Paul, and possibly a couple others, seemed to have gotten married. - David did, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob did, Noah did, Mary the mother of Jesus had Joseph, I do believe the Apostle Peter was also married (Mk 1:30).

So yea, the Bible is littered with saints who were married. From what i have seen so far, those who werent married were definitely in the minority, but that is only from what i have seen so far.

Anyway, yea, that is about it from me.

 

[plum]

but what am I doing wrong?

MB: this may come a s a shock... but you (as far as I've read at least) haven't done anything wrong. Perhaps you're just single and trying to find the right person. These things do happen along the way, I'm afraid. Shoot, dating the right person isn't magic sure wish it was for my own sake having been in situations like yours in the past 3-4 years.

Keep on truckin! Just don't settle.

 

[Briseis]

Like missju said, you havent doen anything wrong, it jsut deosnt happen right away for everyone, and I dont think you are too young to be worrying about it, keep going, as long as you dont get desperate. You didnt give that vibe at all, just saying, that is the only case when I wouldnt be telling someone to keep trying, in that case, just try to let it happen.

 

[JBSU2]

Hello boy,

I have only one thing to say :

you are right, you have to give up!
Every things happened in the right time. you are looking for somthing that you'll never find... unless you stop to look for it.

(well, ok I have more than one thing to say)

as a friend of mine said: God always answer at 5 to 12 (well.. it is a quite bad translation.. sorry) It means that every time that you're wating for somthing, you'll receive it just few minutes after the end of the delay... In this case, there's no delay, there is just a young man stressing for his future.. and it is usual for people to do so.

live your life, meet girls and guys, play, work, have fun and laugh... and one day just because you're not thinking about that, a girl will show you that she needs you in her life...

Good luck man. and as I see on the pic, a so handsome guy will certainly find a girl soon... Don't worry about that... and pray!

Juls

 

[MetalBlade]

Thanks all that have replied! I appreciate all the advice. And I am not really looking to get in a relationship, I have a lot of things on my plate right now. I just want to date, but even that seems almost impossible!

 

[Sketcher]

Sounds like the fish are just not biting right now. That's all.

 

[Balugon]

Thanks all that have replied! I appreciate all the advice. And I am not really looking to get in a relationship, I have a lot of things on my plate right now. I just want to date, but even that seems almost impossible!

U know, u could just work on ur friendships, and not worrying about dating. U dont have to go out with a girl to get to know her. U can get to know her just by being good friends. And then u dont have to worry about as much infatuation getting in the way and possibly messing up ur judgment capabilities, just in case u started to like one of those girls as more than a friend.

Does ur college have a Campus Crusade for Christ organization? And if it does, have u checked it out, are a part of it? If ur college does have it, u might be able to find some good fellowship there, or ur college might have a different Christian organization, with a different name. U could check into that if u havent already.

And, bottom line, if ur lonely, and ur looking for that person who ur gonna spend the rest of ur life with, even if u could only just start to get to know them now, and later would have a bit more time to spend with them... If u have that feeling in ur heart that keeps drawing u to want to ask a girl out, in hopes she might be the one, but maybe sometimes it even distracts u from getting done what needs done; Dont look in front of u (to try to see that possible mate), look up (to see that God can fulfill it). Give this area of ur life to God, and He WILL supply ur needs in their proper time (Because He is awesome like that).

As it is written:

"33But seek first his basileia [Greek for- kingdom, kingship, royal rule] and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

U know, everyone says that passage, but they always seem to say "his kingdom", probably because that is what it says in the NIV and KJV, two of the most popular (as far as i know) translations out there. But if u look up that word in the Greek (i looked it up in my NIV Concordance, and the Strong's KJV concordance), it also means "royal rule." And i find, that when im living out my life, this passage means so much less to me when they translate that word to "kingdom". But that when I translate it to "royal rule", it gets fulfilled all the time.

When I give God parts of my life, when His 'rule', His control, takes over in those parts of my life, I find that He takes care of all that I need in those areas (and often blesses me beyond what I thought was going to happen). I also have victory in that area, final victory in that area, at least. Even if i do mess up here and there, if i do, God uses it to teach me and give me understanding so I grow even further, and get closer to living in all His fullness in that area of my life.

It's kinda like im a car, and i dont have any oil, or a driver; I try to go places, but my engine overheats, things start to make incredibly horrible grinding noises, and I find that I was going in the wrong direction the whole time, even if I thought I was doing ok at first. Then, when I give that certain area of my life over to God (after realizing He is the only one who can accomplish His will (because I forget sometimes)), He fixes me up at least enough to go, He puts fresh oil in me, and then takes His hands to the steering wheel- so that He can guide me to the destination He wanted me going to in the first place.
[Of course, He also fixes me up along the journey (even as He is driving, because He can do both at the same time), so that by the time I get to my destination, I am a fine-tuned, sleek, ready and rarin to go machine- one that will be ready to walk in all the fullness that God has for my life in that area.]

Hope that helped, bl.

 

[Alenci]

*points to post above*

I agree 100% with what Balugon said. Focus on your friendships. Make lots of friends- of both genders- and spend time in fellowship. Most of all, get to know your first love- the one who is Love. Look up, not ahead, and seek to grow closer to God so your heart will be in tune with His will!

Hope that helps. At least a little.

 

[superfly]

yeah, focus on your friendships... and make sure the girls you are interested in are CHRISTIANS!!! i can't stress that point enough!!!

2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

 

[satomi_tiger]

Hey, I had a similar situation, I was getting crushes on all the wrong people (not all at once ) and I read Josh Harris' book "I kissed Dating Goodbye". I suddenly realised that while finding someone was my main priority, God wasn't gonna let me find the right man for me! Lightbulb moment!
I'm not suggesting that dating is your focus, just that God has his own timetable, and generally, he doesn't see reason enough to let us know what's ahead. It's all part of the ride. BTW - have you told this girl you had/ have a crush on her? She might just consider straight-hood.... maybe not, but who knows...

 

[findinghope06]

Things have been going some what smoothly. I am going to be graduating soon, and though this semester is rough, class wise, I am getting out more and having fun. But I am still having problems. Last year I had a crush on that old friend of mine from high school... I don't know if anyone remembers that thread(s). Anyway, things didn't work out, but all the people who said it wouldn't affect our relationship were right. We are still friends and still talk.

So anyway, I have been trying to move on. I kind of had this crush on this girl I met when I moved into my dorm. She was the first person I talked to when I moved away. Well we started hanging out more often, and I started to get to know her better -hopefully progressing things further. That however derailed when I found out she was a lesbian, and had just recently broken up with her ex-girlfriend. I mean, yeah I support her now I guess, but what am I doing wrong?

I just get fed up with always falling in love with the wrong girls. Yeah you can feed me the lines that someone is out there for me and I will find that person. You can even say, well don't even worry about that right now, you are young! But sometimes I want to give up all together! My friend quoted me this, and sorry I am not sure where it comes from, but nonetheless:



Which pretty much sums up every crush/relationship I have ever been in...

le sigh!

i completely understand what you are talking about. i was at that point last year. i was constantly getting my heart broken (one of them was the reason i gave my heart to Jesus, so i cant be too upset ) but i was all ready to give up on dating all together. i was at the point where i just didnt want my heart broken anymore. and im not going to lie, but this part of my life has been the hardest to let go. but when i do have feeligns for someone, i pray God takes them away if they arent from Him. im not interested in dating just for the sake of dating, but rather to find my FH. i have grown to love him more and more everyday and it makes the waiting easier. one day all the pain and heart ache will be worth it. you will look back and say. "thank the Lord that He pulled me away from those situaions" He is just working to prepare you for your wife and maybe telling you that those girls werent right for you.

dont give up, my friend. she is out there. allow the Lord to show you her and even when you have feelings for a girl and things dont work out, rejoice that the Lord is speaking to you. one day it will work out and it will be well worth the wait. trust Him

ill be praying for you
your sister in Christ
Stephanie