johnny1652000 said:
I am a 23 year old male with symptoms of bp and am engaged to a 35 year old with 2 kids...there are times when we get along great then i think when my symptoms show that it affects her and i and myself and her kids..I have i kid myself from a previous relationship i know its not about that they are not my kids and all i can handle that but i am worried about my problems affecting them..I find myself pushing away and secluding myself from them because i am afraid of the way i may act or i might have a outburst which will affect them and I....and i am afraid by there actions affecting me i feel like i have outburst over nothing i try and try not to but i feel like i have no control over it....any help is appreciated thank you all......
Hi johnny1652000, first I would like to say those are healthy concerns. But I would not recommend talking to your family about it. In my family (mother and sister) everyone has at one point or another, struggled with bipolar disorder. My sister was prayed over and seeked God, and when she felt led to discontinue using her meds, she did. And as a result of her faith she was healed.
If you want to be healed then you have to grow closer to God. Get very involved in ministry in the church and spend very sincere time alone with God where you clear your mind, take captive any thoughts that can lead you astray with Christ's power (you can never do it alone), and spend time reading the Bible. It takes time to be able to understand that your only real problem is that you need to grow closer to God. And that is everyone's problem, the truth is however close you are to God you can always know Him and love Him, and experience His love more. I know it can sound intimidating to go on missions trips and get really involved, I never would have done it on my own. But a while back my mother forced me to (I am so grateful she did!) and it was nothing more than spending quality time with people doing different activities and having fun playing with the kids. Might not sound like much but this was one of the things that brought my life towards God. Every little thing helps!
Alright, I'd also like to say that having symptoms of bipolar disorder does not mean you have the disorder. Just about everyone struggles with bipolar like symptoms or another spiritual condition equally bad. For example, if not bipolar then it could be some of these things (I am sure you will notice that many people have these):
depression
anger
guilt/shame
lack of motivation
lack of energy
poor health (someone who is spiritually strong will always be more healthy)
poor quality relationships (this is the key here, where unmet needs cause all the problems)
anxiety/fear
confusion
dissatifaction
no sense of meaning
These all come from a poor spiritual condition. God has put in everyone of us (because he has it Himself) the desire and need to be loved. At first a child trusts their parents, only later to find their parents do not have unfailing love. After many years the child comes to believe that there is no such thing as perfect love. I don't think anyone will ever live life without believing that so strongly at one point or another. But it is a lie. Yes, we can read in the Bible that God has unfailing love, but it won't mean anything and you can't really believe it without experiencing it. And how much better is it that we believe the lie for all our lives and then trun to Christ and actually experience the truth? It is better than it being perfect from the beginning. This is one of the ways that God uses satan's plans for His own purpose!
So when I wrote earlier that I don't recommend telling your family, it is because you need to ask God to heal you. And don't you dare go to a counselor or doctor or take meds! Don't read about your condition either. Grow in Christ and love Him more than anything. How can I love Him more than my wife or kids? You may ask. The answer is that when you turn to God and realize that you are nothing without Him, your family will also turn to Him and you will be loving Christ when you love them. Christians who are filled with the Spirit are not loving each other when they love each other, really they are loving God. If a brother in Christ turned away from Him permanently, I would not stay friends with him/her. I would be deeply grieved, but refuse to have a life without meaning. Read what Paul says about love. You can have all understanding, all spiritual gifts, all faith, you can have happiness joy pleasure and peace, but if you have not love, you are nothing, and without meaning and purpose.