So I will probably be divorced soon. I would have never left if I had had a connection with my husband in the beginning. After being separated for approx. 3yrs. thru my therapist, attorney, two nurses, a teacher, and myself doing extensive research that he has Aspergers syndrome. I was always trying to figure out what was missing in our relationship,( he had been to several conselors, to my knowledge whom didn't pick up on this)(if they had, knowing him he wouldn't have believed it, or told me). I always believed in marriage for better or worse. I devoted 24yrs. of my life to him, receiving only "crumbs" back. I want to know when it comes to better or worse, and I stayed as long as I could, am I not supposed to have someone love, honor, and cherish me, none of which he was capable of doing. If there was a treatment for this I would have tried, but since it is just now being recognized mainly in children, and there is no real treatment for it what should I have done. Should I have sacrified my entire life to him, not getting anything back in return, I thought marriage is a two way street. For those of you unfamilar with Aspergers it might be beneficial to read some posts from people who have relationships with these type people. It's very sad.
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- Thread starter mggs
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If you were sick would it be fair for your husband to leave you because he felt you weren't meeting his needs when you were physically unable to?
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tryingtobeagain
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Actually there is alot of work you can do for Aspergers. My daughter was exhibiting almost all of the symptoms and I've just learned to work around it. As a result she's thriving now.
Do you still love him? Because if you do I would say to try some of the methods for dealing with it. They may seem child oriented but may make a big difference for you both.
I don't know what else to say. I really believe that in the event of illness you should stand by your spouse. I think the only reasons to leave are adultery and abuse. I pray for your situation.
Do you still love him? Because if you do I would say to try some of the methods for dealing with it. They may seem child oriented but may make a big difference for you both.
I don't know what else to say. I really believe that in the event of illness you should stand by your spouse. I think the only reasons to leave are adultery and abuse. I pray for your situation.
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Hi tryingtobeagain,
Thanks for your response. Just wondering how old your daughter is, and has she developed her permanent coping skills in dealing with Aspergers. My husband is 53, and is fairly set in his ways. He has attempted to change minimally, but has been unsuccessful. This is a form of abuse. It is often referred to as Emotional abuse by isolation.
Thanks for your response. Just wondering how old your daughter is, and has she developed her permanent coping skills in dealing with Aspergers. My husband is 53, and is fairly set in his ways. He has attempted to change minimally, but has been unsuccessful. This is a form of abuse. It is often referred to as Emotional abuse by isolation.
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tryingtobeagain
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Hey Mggs,
My daughter is almost 4 and is doing really well. We don't know the long term yet. It's alot of work and I definately work around her but it's rewarding.
I guess where I differ in the abuse part is that emotional abuse by isolation is done intentionally where your husband is not intending to hurt you this way, he just can't help his illness. I don't want to sound disproving or anything, and I'm not judging you. Ultimately you need to do what you feel in your heart. I just pray things get better for you. I know how difficult things can be.
My daughter is almost 4 and is doing really well. We don't know the long term yet. It's alot of work and I definately work around her but it's rewarding.
I guess where I differ in the abuse part is that emotional abuse by isolation is done intentionally where your husband is not intending to hurt you this way, he just can't help his illness. I don't want to sound disproving or anything, and I'm not judging you. Ultimately you need to do what you feel in your heart. I just pray things get better for you. I know how difficult things can be.
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