• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

need advice...

2PhiloVoid

Critically Copernican
Site Supporter
Oct 28, 2006
24,778
11,593
Space Mountain!
✟1,368,377.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
that i do know. I have tried and tried to do it on my own. And fail everytime. But when i pray for help, nothing. I dont have the Holy Spirit because im not saved.

Or...it could be that when Jesus says to us, "The truth will set us free," He was never talking about a do-it-yourself scenario, which is what, unfortunately, so many today interpret it to be.

If any of us is going to meet this 'thang' head-on and begin to make progress toward ongoing repentance, then we have to do this together in the provision and the process of transformation of mind which the Lord can give us: i.e. through fellowship with and within an entire world-full of fellow brethren, the Church of our Lord. The process will be slow and pain-staking.

The truth isn't going to set you free by individualized 'magic,' and this realization is just the tip of the iceberg in getting yourself some help.

Otherwise, it's just you against the World...and the World knows how to play the Game.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Nathan@work
Upvote 0

Maria Billingsley

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Oct 7, 2018
11,196
9,235
65
Martinez
✟1,148,505.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
that i do know. I have tried and tried to do it on my own. And fail everytime. But when i pray for help, nothing. I dont have the Holy Spirit because im not saved.
Well maybe its time to get saved, that will be your choice even though your denominational persuasion
objects to free will. I will pray you know the truth.
 
Upvote 0

Lifelong_sinner

Well-Known Member
Nov 24, 2019
491
226
52
Virginia
✟39,280.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Calvinist
Marital Status
Single
Well maybe its time to get saved, that will be your choice even though your denominational persuasion
objects to free will. I will pray you know the truth.

thanks, but i have been thinking of nothing else for the last 2 years and my personal denominational persuasion also believes that God the Father is the one who decides will be called. And so far, i have not. This is why i believe i am not of the elect. Very scary.
 
  • Prayers
Reactions: Psalm 27
Upvote 0
Jun 26, 2003
8,902
1,519
Visit site
✟301,257.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Private
thanks, but i have been thinking of nothing else for the last 2 years and my personal denominational persuasion also believes that God the Father is the one who decides will be called. And so far, i have not. This is why i believe i am not of the elect. Very scary.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. The fact that you are scared is evidence of the Father’s call on your heart, and the Spirit’s pleading.
Sex is a bodily appetite, a deed of the flesh. We are called to mortify the deeds of the flesh.
You have tried prayer, have you tried fasting?
The practice of self denial can strengthen us to say no, when temptation comes. Every little bit helps
Have you been baptized? Christ commanded baptism. Salvation is a free gift through faith, but we are required to cooperate with grace and ask. Believe God and do what He says no matter how small
I was once where you are. I wish I could tell you my story and have a great conversation
I can tell you God has mercy if you ask.
We should not be complacent in our sin, yet not fear coming to God when we are in sin either
 
Upvote 0

Neogaia777

Old Soul
Site Supporter
Oct 10, 2011
24,717
5,558
46
Oregon
✟1,103,786.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Celibate
I once climbed a mountain, a very steep mountain full of loose pumice rocks on the way up the climb, and if you just tried to climb up it quickly, you'd wind up climbing two or three steps up it, and then slide back down four or five steps back down it, making no progress at all, and actually losing progress as you went, etc, so if you didn't take a few steps, then dig in and hold your ground and secure your footing, and catch a few breaths before trying to take a couple more steps up it again first, you made absolutely no progress at all, etc, and actually lost progress along the way, etc...

I hope your getting the analogy, etc...

Also, God knows how hard you tried or didn't try, continued or didn't continue trying, etc, to climb that mountain, etc, regardless of whether or not you actually made it up to the very top of it by the end of your life or not, etc...

But as for the literal mountain, I did make it up to the top of it... eventually... It took all day, but I did make it all the way up to the top of it, eventually, etc...

And it was a spectacular view, etc...

Anyway,

God Bless!
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

Jamdoc

Watching and Praying Always
Oct 22, 2019
8,307
2,617
44
Helena
✟266,685.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Single
repentance is more about the attitude than the results, because frankly... we can't get the results that actually satisfy God. Jesus already has and it is through His righteousness not our own that we form a relationship with our Father.

and a secret is.. it's not that you keep doing the same sin over and over. It's that you sin at all (James 2:10). The fact of the matter is, while we may achieve some victory over a particular sin in our lives, none of us is righteous in our own deeds even after being saved, everyone sins somehow every single day.
1 John 1:8-10
8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

Our justification before God is through Jesus, and because our sins are imputed onto Jesus who took our punishment for us, and His righteousness is imputed onto us, you are no more or less justified on your worst days of sinning as on your "best"

So back to repentance.. and the attitude.
When you sin, is it something you have planned? Or something you have fallen into?
If you have planned it, IE, a homosexual who is in a homosexual relationship long term, they're obviously not repentant, because this is ongoing and there's never a turning away.
But if you're an alcoholic, who finds the Lord, quits drinking, but then some months later, has some crisis and finds themselves drinking again one night, and feeling horrible about what they have done.. you can say that person is still repentant, they made a bad decision and fell into a sin.
When you sin, are you convicted? If you find yourself buying a bottle of booze, or clicking a link to something you shouldn't be looking at, do you feel "I shouldn't be doing this?" and closing out the browser before continuing, or throwing the bottle away, or something along those lines?

If you are planning out activities that are sin, or in a lifestyle that requires sin as part of it, say you're a pornographer, obviously you can't repent and maintain your website, and you do not feel conviction and remorse when you sin, then that is showing a lack of repentance and not showing faith in what Jesus did to justify you, because know that every time you do sin, it is like you crucified Jesus all over.
If you love Him, why would you want to do that to Him?

I suggest you read the book of 1 John, it's a good book on self examination of your standing with God.
While we can have assurance in Jesus that we are saved and will go to heaven, we are also told to examine ourselves and see if we're in the faith (2 Corinthians 13:5)
 
Upvote 0

zoidar

loves Jesus the Christ! ✝️
Site Supporter
Sep 18, 2010
7,503
2,678
✟1,044,646.00
Country
Sweden
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
I’ve done that more times than i can remember, and yet i KNOW im not saved. Why some people make like its easy to get saved is beyond me. For some, it may be easy. For me, it seems impossible.
If a good man like ravi didnt make it to Heaven, what chance do i have. For that matter, why am i still trying???

I think this chain of sexual sin in your life isn't uncommon. I doubt you can break it by trying harder. I believe it's more important to come closer to God being honest with your struggle, and you are that, and refocus your whole life on Christ, the cross. I believe the power to overcome any sin lays in forgiveness, when we know we are forgiven at heart level, His power is overcoming for us. You are not alone in your struggles.
 
Upvote 0

StillGods

Well-Known Member
Aug 9, 2017
1,510
2,657
North Island
✟303,351.00
Country
Australia
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
so with the current news and comments from other preachers concerning ravi zacharias here lately, im gonna ask a question about him, but using it to reference myself. do you think ravi was saved and made it to Heaven??

the reason i am asking this is because i have a willful habitual sexual sin myself, and if ravi did make it to Heaven, then that could mean that there is hope for me too.

now for the plot twist...im waiting to here how many will say instead, that it is wrong to question ghetting to Heaven while unrepentant and instead of looking for assurance, i should be more concerned about acyually stopping the willful sinning everyday.

I'm not 100% sure but I think both you and ravi will be in heaven, but robbed of the rewards that might have been if not controlled/influenced by the spirit of lust.

robbed in this life and the next.

I hope you are able to find freedom through the Cross so you have a better life and can know God in a more real way.
 
Upvote 0

TJB

Active Member
Site Supporter
Feb 5, 2021
40
39
51
London
✟79,749.00
Country
United Kingdom
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
In Relationship
i know for sure that i love my sin. Can i say the same for God? I dont know. I can say that i think God is absolutely the most terrifying thing in my life. Maybe i fear Him more than love Him.

I find it very refreshing that you are being so honest..... it seems like you have a strong desire to love God and I think that is the best starting point. Our complex relationships with sin, particularly. what Augustine calls concupiscence has to be taken seriously, we can'tseem to shake it off, it keeps dragging us back, but I suppose the important thing is to keep trying and not be complacenet, thats the tone with which I'm reading your messages. In my opinion, it's up to God who gets saved - let Him worry about that!
 
Upvote 0

2PhiloVoid

Critically Copernican
Site Supporter
Oct 28, 2006
24,778
11,593
Space Mountain!
✟1,368,377.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
thanks, but i have been thinking of nothing else for the last 2 years and my personal denominational persuasion also believes that God the Father is the one who decides will be called. And so far, i have not. This is why i believe i am not of the elect. Very scary.

Here's the thing, though. Your denomination doesn't have a chain wrapped around your soul; the World does.

So, if getting rid of one might mean letting go of another in order to grow.........well then, so be it! :footprints:
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

Strong in Him

Great is thy faithfulness
Site Supporter
Mar 4, 2005
30,943
9,929
NW England
✟1,291,781.00
Country
United Kingdom
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
so with the current news and comments from other preachers concerning ravi zacharias here lately, im gonna ask a question about him, but using it to reference myself. do you think ravi was saved and made it to Heaven??

No idea - nor does anyone.

the reason i am asking this is because i have a willful habitual sexual sin myself, and if ravi did make it to Heaven, then that could mean that there is hope for me too.

But as you won't know until you die if he is in heaven, why not make sure now that you will be?

now for the plot twist...im waiting to here how many will say instead, that it is wrong to question ghetting to Heaven while unrepentant and instead of looking for assurance, i should be more concerned about acyually stopping the willful sinning everyday.

Well yes - but why is that a "plot twist"; you've been told that before?
 
Upvote 0

Strong in Him

Great is thy faithfulness
Site Supporter
Mar 4, 2005
30,943
9,929
NW England
✟1,291,781.00
Country
United Kingdom
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I’ve done that more times than i can remember, and yet i KNOW im not saved.

Either you ARE saved, but showing no evidence of it - throwing it back at God and continuing in your sin, or you are saying that God breaks his word and it's not possible for him to save you.

Why some people make like its easy to get saved is beyond me.

It is easy to get saved, because Jesus saves; he does it, not us.
It may be impossible, or at least a great struggle, for you to get to the place where you repent - turn your back on - your sin, and ask for God's help to resist it.

You have said before now that you enjoy your sin - i.e you want IT more than you want God and you don't want to renounce it. That is the biggest barrier.
Like I've said before, if you are willing to turn your back on your sin, or at least be made willing to turn your back on your sin, God will do the rest and help you to stay strong.

If a good man like ravi didnt make it to Heaven, what chance do i have.

He's dead - you're still alive.
 
Upvote 0

Strong in Him

Great is thy faithfulness
Site Supporter
Mar 4, 2005
30,943
9,929
NW England
✟1,291,781.00
Country
United Kingdom
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
i know for sure that i love my sin.

That's the problem.
Do you want to stop loving your sin?
Do you realise that it is your sin that is making this barrier between you and God, so that you feel nothing when you pray?
Do you know that Jesus can, and will, cleanse you from your sin and give you strength to keep resisting it - or does the thought of not having that sin in your life fill you with horror?

I can say that i think God is absolutely the most terrifying thing in my life.

Possibly because you know that your sin is wrong, not what he wants and he will punish you for it one day unless you repent and accept Jesus - yet you still love to do it.

God is a loving, heavenly Father, and definitely not a "thing". He loves you unconditionally and wants a relationship with you.
 
Upvote 0

Neostarwcc

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.
Site Supporter
Dec 13, 2015
5,502
4,571
39
US
✟1,110,114.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Calvinist
Marital Status
Married
so with the current news and comments from other preachers concerning ravi zacharias here lately, im gonna ask a question about him, but using it to reference myself. do you think ravi was saved and made it to Heaven??

the reason i am asking this is because i have a willful habitual sexual sin myself, and if ravi did make it to Heaven, then that could mean that there is hope for me too.

now for the plot twist...im waiting to here how many will say instead, that it is wrong to question ghetting to Heaven while unrepentant and instead of looking for assurance, i should be more concerned about acyually stopping the willful sinning everyday.

I don't know, there's a lot of propaganda about him going on in the recent news. Apparently he used his power to rape women and get whatever he wanted from people when he should have been using his power to teach those of Christ and spread the gospel. These are rumors going around from women coming forward that apparently were assaulted by him for years. That... is bad especially when coming from a person of power who are judged more about what they say and their actions than a typical person is.

When Ravi was alive my wife and I listened to several of his sermons and there were a few things I personally didn't like about him. One he refused to pick a religious denomination. He just said "We're here to spread the word of Christ". Which, a lot of what he had to say was against what scripture actually taught. So no, he wasn't there to spread the word of Christ, he was there to spread lies.

Not saying not picking a religious denomination automatically condemns your soul but, it does make him a questionable Pastor IMO. Almost all of the world's most trusted Theologians and Pastors over the years have picked a religious side, and a lot of what they have to say IS found in the Bible.

Honestly? If everything that's coming out in the news is true and really happened... I wouldn't be surprised if we never saw him in the next life. I'm sorry to people who loved and supported Mr. Zacharias but if its true that he used his power to exploit women like that and to exploit the gospel... He's not going to escape God's judgement. He could have made a deathbed repentance but somehow, idk I doubt it. Could be true though.

As for the typical sexual offender? Yes, sexual sin is a bad sin that requires repentance and dedication to resolve. Sexual sin is among the worst sins to become ensnared to. But nobody is without hope, if you're repenting and working with God than you're saved and you can be saved from sexual sins.
 
Upvote 0

Maria Billingsley

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Oct 7, 2018
11,196
9,235
65
Martinez
✟1,148,505.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
thanks, but i have been thinking of nothing else for the last 2 years and my personal denominational persuasion also believes that God the Father is the one who decides will be called. And so far, i have not. This is why i believe i am not of the elect. Very scary.
Well sounds like you have definitely been called. Now it's up to you to decide if you want to be one of the elect. It is your choice. Never mind doctrines of men, they only cause us to stumble and error in the things of God. He awaits your humble approach to His truth. Be blessed.
 
Upvote 0

Dave L

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Jun 28, 2018
15,549
5,879
USA
✟580,230.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
so with the current news and comments from other preachers concerning ravi zacharias here lately, im gonna ask a question about him, but using it to reference myself. do you think ravi was saved and made it to Heaven??

the reason i am asking this is because i have a willful habitual sexual sin myself, and if ravi did make it to Heaven, then that could mean that there is hope for me too.

now for the plot twist...im waiting to here how many will say instead, that it is wrong to question ghetting to Heaven while unrepentant and instead of looking for assurance, i should be more concerned about acyually stopping the willful sinning everyday.
If you are really saved, God will force you to repent if necessary. It's not pleasant to fall under God's chastisement.
 
Upvote 0

StillGods

Well-Known Member
Aug 9, 2017
1,510
2,657
North Island
✟303,351.00
Country
Australia
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
If you are really saved, God will force you to repent if necessary. It's not pleasant to fall under God's chastisement.

I say this gently because I was shocked when I read your post because God has never forced me to do anything.
He draws us with loving kindness.
 
Upvote 0

StillGods

Well-Known Member
Aug 9, 2017
1,510
2,657
North Island
✟303,351.00
Country
Australia
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
What exactly are the 3 criteria for being saved?


+ Acts 16:30-31 “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” So they said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.

just one thing to be saved...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ.
 
Upvote 0

RaymondG

Well-Known Member
Nov 15, 2016
8,546
3,815
USA
✟277,185.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
so with the current news and comments from other preachers concerning ravi zacharias here lately, im gonna ask a question about him, but using it to reference myself. do you think ravi was saved and made it to Heaven??

the reason i am asking this is because i have a willful habitual sexual sin myself, and if ravi did make it to Heaven, then that could mean that there is hope for me too.

There is little reward in comparing your salvation with the salvation of another. Time is better spent working on your own salvation.

Asking people, who have never been to heaven, how to get there or who is in attendance there.......is like the blind asking the blind to read to them, a (non-Braille) book. You will likely receive the wrong words, but you will not be able to know that it is wrong.

You need to ask those who have been that.....yay, who are still there now.....
 
Upvote 0

RaymondG

Well-Known Member
Nov 15, 2016
8,546
3,815
USA
✟277,185.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Why some people make like its easy to get saved is beyond me. For some, it may be easy. For me, it seems impossible.

Indeed, the way is narrow, and few there be that find it.......Yet the way is easy and not burdensome at all.....Yet it is so easy, that it is impossible to follow....

It is akin to knowing that you can be a doctor without any education.....even though we are taught that it requires 10 years of post grad school followed by years of clinicals.

In this case, it is simple to say no education is required.....but not easy to believe it...or move forward as if it were 100% fact. Most would find it must easier to just follow the schooling program.

Therefore, you are right... It is impossible for man to follow this way on their own.

"And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible."
 
Upvote 0