Need advice...

[Monkey47]

Hi,

I need advice about something that has been bothering me. I am currently dating this girl, and I love here deeply and really care about her a lot. So far we haven't had any problems execpt for one:

She comes from a fairly strict church that believes a lot of things are wrong (such as dancing, forms of visual arts, other religions, money, etc.). My religious background is very laid back, basically respect and worship God, live our lives to the fullest, and respect others.

I guess I am having troubles understanding her viewpoints. We have tried to talk about it, but I don't know enough about myself or religion to understand. And I don't think she completely knows why her church is that way.

Our religious believes are very similar, it is just they way we practice them is different.

I would consider myself a very cultererd and tolerant person, and that is one of the things I really like about myself, but I am having difficulties expressing myself without feeling I have to conform to her beliefs.

Anyone else been in a similar situation?

 

[katelyn]

I think that if you don't totally understand why you believe what you believe, that maybe now would be a good time for both of you to look into that and try to decide what you want to believe. You may find that you feel more or less strongly about certain issues and that you can compromise on some things.

Maybe if she is having trouble explaining her viewpoint but you would like to understand, you could get some materials on her church and find out more? They will most likely have information to give you on what they believe & why. And if you don't agree with their reasoning, then at least you'll be able to understand it and explain to your girlfriend why you don't agree.

 

[Warrior Poet]

]I guess I am having troubles understanding her viewpoints. We have tried to talk about it, but I don't know enough about myself or religion to understand. And I don't think she completely knows why her church is that way.

Well that was the what she was raised in, I think the saying here would go you can take the girl outta the chruch, but you cant take the church outta the girl. She has been taught a certain way her whole life and wether you agree with the church practices or not the doctrine she has been taught is where her base begins.

Our religious believes are very similar, it is just they way we practice them is different.

I would consider myself a very cultererd and tolerant person, and that is one of the things I really like about myself, but I am having difficulties expressing myself without feeling I have to conform to her beliefs.

You dont have to conform I a very much in your corner about how to "practice" what we preach and thought process. But you cant give up your beliefs and practices for a girl, you arent really being you if you do so and vice versa. In most situations like this its one of two things the people see eye to eye about everything biblical and moral though it is a unique sitution it happens (IMO thats no fun debating is fun) the other is: if both sides can and will, you must agree to disagree. My good friend and I talk about theology and the bible she in many ways is very conservative to hear her POV is usally very insightful, yet differs very much from what i believe and would preach, but we get along great and after we talk get a bit heated it ends just as soon as it begins, it boils down to acceptance. If she cant accept you, or what comes with the territory, or you cant accept hers then you might think about taking a step back to see if this wil continue to work. Dont sacrifice something you want in a girl especially something that is such a huge role in a relationship, its not fair to you or to her.

Anyone else been in a similar situation?

Nope I havent.

Warrior Poet

 

[desi]

You were both raised a certain way. Her way was more strict and she seems to be sticking to it as she will not tolerate other ways. It would seem you have a choice to make.