• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
  • We hope the site problems here are now solved, however, if you still have any issues, please start a ticket in Contact Us

Need Advice

Status
Not open for further replies.
Without going into alot of details I need some guidance on what I should do. Some not so good things have happened at our church (I am a Deacon there, among doing other service for the Lord) that have been hurtful. My wife and I have 3 kids and some things were spread about one of our kids who is a teenager. Things have been talked over and gotten out in the open. Our Pastor really did not handle this situation correctly. I told hium that I thought he handled this poorly and he apologized to my wife and I and our kids. The problem is my wife and kids do not want to continue going to this church. I have forgiven the wrongdoings and my wife says she has forgiven but she does not respect the leadership of our Pastor any longer and refuses to attend. She and my kids have started attending another church, but I still feel that God does not want us to leave. Before this problem happened we were so plugged in and serving God. I try to think about what would Christ do and I have to think he would forgive and reconcile and get past this problem. My wife feels that I am choosing our church over our family but I dont look at it that way. I am purposed by God to be the spiritual leader of our family, and I feel that she is contesting me on this. I am very torn over this and I am not sure what to do. I have always been taught that until God moves, you stay put. I dont feel that God would use a bad situation to move us to another church. What should I do?
 

VOW

Moderator
Feb 7, 2002
6,912
15
73
*displaced* CA, soon to be AZ!
Visit site
✟43,000.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
To Rich:

Take a leave of absence from being a Deacon, and attend the new church with your family for a while. It sounds like everyone needs a cooling-off period. It would be difficult to focus on worship if your family is mired in bad feelings at your present church. The important thing is that your family is still interested in attending church; too many times an incident can cause people to turn away from God entirely.


Peace be with you,
~VOW
 
Upvote 0

StogusMaximus

Well-Known Member
Feb 5, 2002
2,410
7
Visit site
✟4,841.00
Faith
Protestant
I agree with VOW.

Your responsibility is to God first and your family second, the church falls lower in the list of priorities.

As long as you are in a church that worships God and teaches His Word, then the location or denomination or whatever is secondary. Follow your family to the other church, determine if it is a Bible preaching church and if you feel comfortable there, if not visit other churches.

It is not God's will to divide a family, but to unite the family in His love, and no church or preacher should stand in the way of that.

Also, God may be moving you out of that church for a reason. Pray and ask God to guide you in your decisions, and you will not go wrong.

I will pray for you as well.
 
Upvote 0

RayNay714

Worshiper and Seeker
Feb 19, 2002
443
1
44
Kentucky
Visit site
✟807.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I understand why you would want to stay at the church. My dad is a youth pastor and there are times that you don't agree with the pastor or the way things are handled, but your family is hurt. I don't know whether your teenager is a guy or a girl, but I know that rumors can cut to the quick, and you need to allow time for your child to heal. And I am sure that you wife is not trying to contest your judgement, but she wants to protect her children.
 
Upvote 0

Didymus

can t spell--can t type
Feb 3, 2002
2,304
8
71
New York state
✟25,771.00
Faith
Protestant
I was in a similar circumstance. The pastor said some very cruel and hurtful statements to meand I became very angry and refused to set foot in that church while he remained. I left because i didn t want it on my head that I had caused another church split. We had just gone though run a couple of years before witha different pastor.
Talk to the pastor at the church where you family is attending I found that helpful as he can be objective.
But support your wife and go with her for now I hope you are letting your injured teen have some imput into this. Teens are not really kids who can t make decisions.
 
Upvote 0
Status
Not open for further replies.