I just found out that the guy im dating right now has a child, and he's married.. we've been dating since march.. and he never told me about it. im so confused.. i love him so much, and we've been getting along so fine.. we go to church together...read together.. when im with him i feel so alive and full of hope about my future.. i know in my heart that something is bothering him.. but i waited for him to tell it to me..... i just found out last night.. i dont feel angry or dismayed.. i dont even understand myself anymore... what I felt was i pity him and somewhat understand his situation. I know he loves me.. but what is the right thing to do? Love knows no boundaries right? he said that they're planning to get their marriage annualed and his wife has a child with another guy and they are not living together anymore... i pity their daughter, knowing that she's alone with her grandma, while his father is here in dubai.. working.. i dont know wat to do.. im asking for God's wisdom and strenght.. I love him i feel so heart broken. We could have been a great couple.
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Need advice
- Thread starter heart24
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dallaskeen
The Rocker
It seems that you've found inner love for him. That is not a problem but talk to him more about this and try to understand more about the situation before you do anything.
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AutumnDreamer
Well-Known Member
heart24 said:
The right thing to do? Is to end the relationship with another woman's husband. There is no alternative biblically. He is married, and even if he gets an annulment, in the state's eyes it will be as if he was never married, but not in God's eyes. Biblically speaking, if you were to marry him after he would be commiting adultery and you would be the cause. My advice would be to move on. I won't say I know how you feel b/c I married my first (and only) love, but I do know what it feels like to give up what you love to follow God, it isn't easy but it is right, and you will be blessed for it.
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~Beauty_from_Pain~
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I once dated a man for a week until he finally told me that he was married. Well, he and his wife were separated, but he told me that they were technically still married. I really liked him, and was glad for the honesty. We stopped dating. It is not right to date someone who is married.
He is having an affair with you. Maybe not physical if that is not the case, but emotionally, etc. It is a sin to be with someone who is married to someone else.
He is having an affair with you. Maybe not physical if that is not the case, but emotionally, etc. It is a sin to be with someone who is married to someone else.
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YouthPastor
Name = Brett
he is married and has a child and never told you either....
RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
regardless of his excusses - he is married and never told you! forget what he IS GOING TO DO get his marriage annuled (how long has he been married? more than 6 months? too late for many states)
has he been married before that? athough you may not be able to trust that answer.
so three months - and you love him to the point of putting up with his lying. deceitfulness?
forget the biblical aspect right now - HE LIED TO YOU AND WAS DECPTIVE!!!
now the biblical aspect.... you are committing adultry. he is married and lied to you.
get rid of this guy from your life.
RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
regardless of his excusses - he is married and never told you! forget what he IS GOING TO DO get his marriage annuled (how long has he been married? more than 6 months? too late for many states)
has he been married before that? athough you may not be able to trust that answer.
so three months - and you love him to the point of putting up with his lying. deceitfulness?
forget the biblical aspect right now - HE LIED TO YOU AND WAS DECPTIVE!!!
now the biblical aspect.... you are committing adultry. he is married and lied to you.
get rid of this guy from your life.
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eatenbylocusts
Senior Veteran
I'm sure you don't want to hear it, but you need to end the relationship now. You can't trust anything he tells you. The annulment could be a lie too. Why isn't the child with her mother? You do know that this is what most of the married men say to try to justify cheating? Some variation of she doesn't understand me/love me and we're getting divorced.
How could you have fallen in love with someone that you don't even know? I don't know how old you are, but I don't even go out on a first date with someone unless I know they are a born-again Christian and they are legally single. I've always heard about the kids before the first date too. My type of "interviewing" is not everyone's cup of tea, but it saves me time and heartbreak by not getting attached to someone that I shouldn't be getting attached to.
If you haven't discussed these "important" issues then you don't really know each other. Guard your heart in the future.
My ex-h lied about his age and that he had been married twice and had kids. I knew he wasn't born-again after the first date, but I liked him and there were not any Christians asking me out. He cheated on me when we were engaged and we were going to break up. He became a "Christian" and we read the Bible together and everything seemed so beautiful and right. Guess what? He never stopped lying and I found out about another kid after our first tax return. Then he did what he did to the ex in another country-he ran away and left me to raise his two kids with no financial help.
Don't fall in love with people you don't know. Think about your future children. Give them a good father-don't pick one that's going to break their hearts.
I'm sorry this happened. I've learned a lot from my past, but even so love took me by complete surprise last summer and I fell very hard. I gave my heart away too fast and it got broken. I'm healed and trying to keep that learning experience in mind.
How could you have fallen in love with someone that you don't even know? I don't know how old you are, but I don't even go out on a first date with someone unless I know they are a born-again Christian and they are legally single. I've always heard about the kids before the first date too. My type of "interviewing" is not everyone's cup of tea, but it saves me time and heartbreak by not getting attached to someone that I shouldn't be getting attached to.
If you haven't discussed these "important" issues then you don't really know each other. Guard your heart in the future.
My ex-h lied about his age and that he had been married twice and had kids. I knew he wasn't born-again after the first date, but I liked him and there were not any Christians asking me out. He cheated on me when we were engaged and we were going to break up. He became a "Christian" and we read the Bible together and everything seemed so beautiful and right. Guess what? He never stopped lying and I found out about another kid after our first tax return. Then he did what he did to the ex in another country-he ran away and left me to raise his two kids with no financial help.
Don't fall in love with people you don't know. Think about your future children. Give them a good father-don't pick one that's going to break their hearts.
I'm sorry this happened. I've learned a lot from my past, but even so love took me by complete surprise last summer and I fell very hard. I gave my heart away too fast and it got broken. I'm healed and trying to keep that learning experience in mind.
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Similar to the "interview" method above, but less formal. Just go for friends first.
True love is only a stronger form of friendship and will only develop out of a friendship. Okay, you can start dating someone, and form a friendship then, but if you don't get along with them as a person you've made a bum emotional investment.
Just concentrate on getting and keeping good friends. Don't look for love. Love will find you.
True love is only a stronger form of friendship and will only develop out of a friendship. Okay, you can start dating someone, and form a friendship then, but if you don't get along with them as a person you've made a bum emotional investment.
Just concentrate on getting and keeping good friends. Don't look for love. Love will find you.
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normally i tell people to ask for God's guidance about particular situations but in this case that isn't necessary because I already know what God has to say about it. He says not to be involved with another woman's husband. It's unbiblical to date someone who's married. not only that but he kept it a secret from you until now. you can't trust this man. i'm sorry you are in this situation. i will pray that God will heal your heart but I STRONGLY advise you to move on.
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I'm sorry to say that I agree with the others, my aunt had an experience similar to yours in that she had no idea where he came from, she married him and a year later he disappeared. Sadly she doesn't know where he went or how to find out why he went, she was lucky she had no children to him. It also left her in a fix when she later fell in love with a better guy and couldn't make a committment because she was still married to her run away husband.
I'm sorry for what you've been through but you're better off without him, especially as he lied to you. Good luck I shall be praying for you.
I'm sorry for what you've been through but you're better off without him, especially as he lied to you. Good luck I shall be praying for you.
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