Need Advice

[leesha]

I have no peace with a situation at the church were I work. I've been here 10 years and was always very sad to see how unspiritual our leadership was. I stayed because God has not released me... And I had hope in our associate pastor and elders that they would step up to the plate and deal with our Sr Pastor... I've prayed, prayed and prayed... In this time my husband and children have become very close with the assoc pastor and his family. My husband has said all along that he believed that the assoc pastor would have to take a stand against what was going on - about a month ago the Sr Pastor attacked (with words) me for a very minor correction, the assoc pastor was there and didn't say a word to stop it... this has caused a rif between our families, the Sr Pastor has apolized and the assoc pastor agrees the Sr Pastor was wrong, but believes it's not his job to correct him.. Problem is the elders feel the same way... A month has gone by and some healing has taken place but something happend today to make me see that the Assoc Pastor has become exactly like the Sr Pastor. I'm so sad about this. I know to pray, I know to forgive, I know the scriptures, I just dont' understand.. There's not enough room in the forum for me to relay how I feel - I just don't know what to do... Please advise
Leesha

 

[gqevant]

That's a hard one? Is your husband on staff too or not?
I don't know your theology but is it possible for you to go to your pastor (in the Matthew 18 model) and tell him you are offended by his "rebuke in public" and ask him respectfully to apologize? Is that an option?

 

[huntertim]

I stayed because God has not released me...

I'm not sure I understand this.... are you called to this church by God? Does God make you stay? Are you sure God is the one keeping you there?

I recently went through the same type of situation. I was very hurt and confused. I finally reallized that I was staying because my heart was in the church (the building and my friends and family) rather than in God. Because of my hurt and my desires, I was not growing. Leaving was the best thing I done. I am now sorry I waited so long. I did make a point to make sure that the Pastor knew I had no hard feelings against him and I left in good terms.

You have got to pray and understand what is right for you. In my case, I had to first examine myself and make sure there was not something wrong with me.

I will pray for you and your family in this situation. I understand and I feel your pain.

Blessings

Tim

 

[snakecraig]

Sounds like a classic "power trip" going on there. I understand your grief. It seems like these types of problems never go away, unfortunatly... I can also understand that you would want to leave the church.
If the paster has apoligized, then you should forgive him (I know its hard). If you find that it happens time after time, then I think that your husband should talk to him... Perhaps he should tell him now that he deepy hurt you. Isn't that part of the role of being a husband? He is the head of the household and it should be in his best interest to protect those that he loves.

But thats just my 2 cents!