Need Advice for 2 of My Friends

Livingstones2020

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Greetings in the name of Jesus. I have 2 friends that I try to help, with the Lord of course. But I need advice on what to do or say and need a lot of prayer for them.

My first friend's name is Richard. He is in his 60's and lives by himself in an apartment building. He never married and he doesn't have children. He has cerebral palsy, which is that his legs muscles are weak. He could hardly walk by himself without the support of his crutches. He had a hard life growing up due to his disability. Anytime when someone says anything negative, he takes it as a rejection. In the past, he has been self-harming (not cutting himself, but doing things that are not good for him). He has been going with me to Church for around 10+ years. But when we talked last night, he really shocked me. I know that he has a lot of resentment towards people, and from it a lot of bitterness. We then went to a Tent Revival Meetings, last night. The preacher's main message was not to take offenses but to offer them up to Jesus. He told me that he needed to get rid of a lot of resentments, but there is something he cannot do. He said that he had an opportunity to tell the Gospel to his neighbor, but he didn't. Later on, his neighbor died. He said how could God forgive him to allow his neighbor to go to Hell. I told him that God knows and God can forgive him. But he told me that it would not change the past, nor he is certain if he wants God's forgiveness.

My 2nd friend's name is Darius. He is in his mid to upper 20's. He has been struggling with sin quite a bit in his Christian life, but he recently become free from a lot of it. But we talked for a while, last night and he says that he has been dealing with a lot of confusion. Throughout most of his Christian life, he has been facing with something called "Perfectionism." He doesn't want to wrong anyone (which is very commendable), but I think it is going way too far. If someone offered him gum, and he takes it, he feels guilty of taking it (even when it is offered to him). He goes back to apologize to the person, otherwise, he would feel guilty until he does. He says that it happens to him many times a day that he wants to make clear of any hinderances. Like I said, it is commendable if he wrongs someone that he wants to apologize for it, but it has been pretty much a bondage that is literally driving him crazy. I told him that when God convicts, He wants us to move to action to want to right a wrongdoing but having almost like a bondage constantly day in and day out, even though there is no wrongdoing, I am pretty certain that it is not from the Lord. He even told me about all of this, last night, and called me about 10 minutes later to apologize for telling me his struggles. He says that he feels that God doesn't want anyone, except 1 or 2 individuals, to know about what he is going through.

So for my prayer requests:

  1. Pray for Richard that he can finally release the resentment that he had for many years, to release it to the Lord and to seek God's forgiveness for any of the wrongs he has done. Also, pray for healing as well. He said that he wanted to release many people in his heart, but the damage that is still there. He said that he might never be healed from it.
  2. Pray for Darius that God will deliver him from his confusion and from his perfectionism. It seems like his perfectionism is getting worse and it is taking a toll on his spiritual life.
Also, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!
 

timf

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1. Resentments can be reduced by trying to understand what drives the person who has harmed you. If you see them as sad characters that never had a chance to follow a path of truth, they begin to take less of a looming perspective in one's memory.

2. Trying to manipulate people so that they feel good, is not helpful to them or you. The biblical admonition to tell the truth in love is best.
 
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anetazo

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Hello friend. Try to find some thing that interests them. Gently try to plant seed for God, if possible?
James chapter 6, Christian people are to witness to lost souls.
Mabey if opportunity presents itself. Shepherds chapel, pastor dennis murray, teaches sound doctrine. Its on YouTube. You could mention this to them.
Christian people plant seeds. Only Jesus can germinate those seeds. Get the picture.
Don't feel you failed, if they reject this.
Isaiah chapter 29, thiers the millennium. It's time of teaching and discipline for the spirtualty dead. Some people will get eternal life after millennium is over.
 
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OldAbramBrown

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Ref Richard, some people are not evangelisers directly (I'm not). All prayers especially generic ones, and all right actions in our own lives, unconsciously benefit those around us, plus church leaders with a wider remit. He's not to accept others' legalisms about "witnessing" or "spreading the gospel".

James is addressed to church leaders entrusted with seeing through the ministries as a whole. The good life Richard is living will do church leaders and his neighbours a power of good as it is, especially if he keeps up generic prayers, he may rest assured of that!

In fact Richard has set me a terrific good example and I have been giving consideration to what numerous people that wrongfooted me over the years (including my mother) were going through, like timf suggests.
 
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com7fy8

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I know that he has a lot of resentment towards people, and from it a lot of bitterness.
He said how could God forgive him to allow his neighbor to go to Hell.
I see a possible connection > he can stay bitter toward others and with this he is able to hold things against himself also. And he is limited in his ability to forgive, but God is not limited like him.

When I have gotten in a fix about not being sure if God would forgive me, I trusted Him to be the Good Judge to decide what to do with me.

He doesn't want to wrong anyone (which is very commendable), but I think it is going way too far. If someone offered him gum, and he takes it, he feels guilty of taking it (even when it is offered to him). He goes back to apologize to the person, otherwise, he would feel guilty until he does.
With this, I see an issue of if he has companions he trusts. We in Jesus need to know whom we can trust so we are comfortable making choices with them and talking with them about things.

having almost like a bondage constantly day in and day out, even though there is no wrongdoing, I am pretty certain that it is not from the Lord.
I agree. Coming up with false self criticism can be a sly way of avoiding what God really wants to correct. Satan does not want us to seek God for His real correction! Hebrews 12:4-14 to me means God's correction changes our character so we are pleasing to Him like Jesus is so pleasing, plus we love the way Jesus in us has us loving any and all people. So, self criticism can be a project to decoy our attention elsewhere.

He says that he feels that God doesn't want anyone, except 1 or 2 individuals, to know about what he is going through.
And a clever trick of this can be how he might pick and choose who those people will be . . . ones who might not be able to really help him. In Jesus, we are family, members of each other, every one of us being able to help any other person however God guides us with each one. So . . . yes . . . you can help him!!!
 
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