Need Advice about taking anti-depressants

[jfgm]

My husband of 48 years died just over 6 weeks ago. I have been going through horrible grief. I've lost over 25 pounds because I can't eat. I sleep about 5 maybe 6 hours a night. I started having what seemed to be panic attacks where I would feel like I was going to explode or something horrible was going to happen to me because I had no control of anything. The doctor gave me a very low dose anti-anxiety that I could take up to 3 times daily. I have taken it once a day on most days and on a few occasions twice a day. It has helped those spurts of panic. When I went back to him, he could see that I was still losing weight and distraught. He thinks I should take an anti-depressant for a few months. I hate taking any kind of medication. My feeling is that I should be able to trust God to get me through this, but I just don't know how much more of this sadness and lonliness I can take without totally losing my mind. I need some Christian advice on what God thinks about relying on meds instead of just Him. I could also use your prayers. Thank you.
Jane

 

[DreamsAreFree]

Anti-depressants have a place and I hate that some Christians look down on those who take them. You have been through a huge loss and if you need some extra support through medication then by all means, do take them if you believe it's right for you after talking with your doctor. The only caution I urge with such medications is that you don't just cover the symptoms with the medication but always deal with the root cause of the depression as well. In your case, anti-depressants alongside grief counselling would be a good course of action to treat the symptoms and the cause. I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[BobW188]

My first wife died just short of our 30th anniversary, and during our marriage she had an episode of depression that led to her taking medications. They made all the difference! Keep in mind that, like the food you eat and the water you drink - and, for that matter, like a life and love shared for almost half a century - medicines are ultimately God's gift to us. Any sin comes from their misuse, not their proper use for the purpose for which they are intended. I'd take your doctor's advice, and add that if you have any adverse reaction you call him immediately. Sometimes a certain medication, or a certain amount of it, just isn't right for a particular purpose. Types and dosages have to be adjusted.
I'd also suggest you seriously consider DreamsAreFree's advice about counselling. Remember, that includes pastoral counselling. I'd also suggest seeing if there is a widows and widowers support group in your community. Sometimes the best help you can get is the help from others who've "been there." The meds can help with the symptoms; but it's the talking that really helps you cope, come to terms, and remember that someday there will be a reunion, in a place where there are no endings, and where the only tears are tears of joy.

 

[seajoy]

Please remember that depression is an illness, not a lack of faith. Take your meds. God will use them to help you through this difficult time. May you have peace soon.

 

[wayfaring man]

Sorry for your loss ,

Personally , I don't like most modern meds , for a couple of reasons .

1, They often cause problems in themself . Liver and kidney damage particularly common .

2. The love of money appears to be the main motivation for their manufacture . Companies search all over creation for something God has freely given us all , and then through patents act as though they have an exclusive license over that element , and therefore deserve huge profits . ( This invites God's displeasure , and makes it less likely He will bless their efforts and their administration .)

For this reason I use herbs and " natural remedies " , ( along with prayer and fasting ) , which man has not attached an exclusive stamp of " you owe me big time , because I isolated this substance and put it in a capsule ."

If you do decide to go along with your " prescriber " , I'd suggest independently researching the drug(s) , before taking them . If you've ever perused a copy of " The Pill Book " or Physicians Desk Reference , and read all the warnings and possible side effects , then you can see that there's usually risk and danger involved , and it's wise to educate yourself , and not merely follow blindly the advice of others .

If you're interested in the more " natural approach " , consult someone in that business , and once again , try to do your own research .

But beyond these things it sounds like you could use a godly soul to help you in person , while you make this tough adjustment . Is there anyone you can call on ? To either stay with you , or go stay with them for a while ?

Hoping The Lord's Help Manifests Tangibly to you !

wm

 

[Mr.Cheese]

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[freeport]

My husband of 48 years died just over 6 weeks ago. I have been going through horrible grief. I've lost over 25 pounds because I can't eat. I sleep about 5 maybe 6 hours a night. I started having what seemed to be panic attacks where I would feel like I was going to explode or something horrible was going to happen to me because I had no control of anything. The doctor gave me a very low dose anti-anxiety that I could take up to 3 times daily. I have taken it once a day on most days and on a few occasions twice a day. It has helped those spurts of panic. When I went back to him, he could see that I was still losing weight and distraught. He thinks I should take an anti-depressant for a few months. I hate taking any kind of medication. My feeling is that I should be able to trust God to get me through this, but I just don't know how much more of this sadness and lonliness I can take without totally losing my mind. I need some Christian advice on what God thinks about relying on meds instead of just Him. I could also use your prayers. Thank you.
Jane

That is horrible, I am so sorry.

I see no problem with you taking such meds on the short term as it sounds like you are in a very difficult place.

The main thing is to heal. You need prayers, and love.

*Praying for you.*

 

[green wolverine]

My husband of 48 years died just over 6 weeks ago. I have been going through horrible grief. I've lost over 25 pounds because I can't eat. I sleep about 5 maybe 6 hours a night. I started having what seemed to be panic attacks where I would feel like I was going to explode or something horrible was going to happen to me because I had no control of anything. The doctor gave me a very low dose anti-anxiety that I could take up to 3 times daily. I have taken it once a day on most days and on a few occasions twice a day. It has helped those spurts of panic. When I went back to him, he could see that I was still losing weight and distraught. He thinks I should take an anti-depressant for a few months. I hate taking any kind of medication. My feeling is that I should be able to trust God to get me through this, but I just don't know how much more of this sadness and lonliness I can take without totally losing my mind. I need some Christian advice on what God thinks about relying on meds instead of just Him. I could also use your prayers. Thank you.
Jane

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Since you don't want to take antidepressants, you might try using amino acids to help regulate your brain chemistry. 5-htp allows the brain to produce serotonin which is what most antidepressants work on. The amino acid GABA is very calming to the brain and great for anxiety. You might do a search on google to learn more if you're interested.

 

[nngraves777]

When I lost my son in 2004 I was put on antidepress and they made me so much worse they made me think of killing myself all the time and I tried on several ocasians to overdose and had my stomach pumped ,my husband found me in the bathroom half dead and i know that this is so hard losing a husband my dear friend I'm praying for you and if you can try this this it helped me so much turn on your radio or cd player and listen to christian music and sing with the song or just sing yourself praises to God until all the pain and hurt lifts,do this every time you feel anxiety or hurt and the black cloud will lift trust me singing and praising the Lord works.God bless you and if you need to talk pm me.

 

[jfgm]

Thank you all so much for responding. I appreciate your knowledge and experiences. Today has been just a horrible day so I really needed some prespective from other Christians.
I will try to write more later. Today I am just so exhausted I can hardly function.
Thank you again for your prayers.
Jane

 

[bliz]

Jane - I am so very sorry for your loss.

You are relying on God to get you through this... but you still eat food to keep your body functioning. Can God keep you alive if you don't eat food? If He chooses to, but that vast majority of us still eat food every day.

In the medications are chemicals. Natural chemicals, since there are none that are "unnatural", and specific chemicals do specific things. So, to stave off scurvy, you can eat an orange, or chew a vitamin C tablet, or drink grog, a mixture of beer and lime juice. The chemicals from these different sources all will help prevent scurvy. The same way, different chemicals have an impact on how our brains work. Certain chemicals can help a depressed person feel less depressed, or less exhausted or less anxious. Sometimes there's a litttle trial and error to find a combination of chemicals that works best for you, but that is no different than changing your diet to include more sources of vitamin C.

When did you last have a through physical and blood tests? Sounds like that would be appropriate right now.

Praying for you.

 

[Aibrean]

I have seen the ill effects of anti-depressant medication. Sometimes they do more harm than good and have a negative effect on the person plus they can also be habit-forming. I would seriously suggest weaning yourself off of them. I would try to plug yourself into a healthier environment. Go out and do things, get involved, meet new people. I would also try and find a support group as I'm sure they are out there.

 

[rockytriton]

Yes, anti-depressants are medications to fix an illness. Clinical depression is an illness. Grief is NOT an illness. Don't take anti-depressants to get over a horrible loss. You need to deal with your grief properly.

Doctors try to push that stuff on you. I was pushed into taking anti-anxiety pills by my doctor, they "fixed" one problem and caused plenty of others. I was able to resolve it myself without the pills by fixing my sleeping schedule and quitting caffeine.

Sure some people who can't deal with anxiety the right way can benefit from the drug, go ahead if you can't do it the right way. As for depression though, when you are born with depression sickness then you most likely need to take medications for it. But you do not have this problem, don't treat the symptoms, treat the problem. Deal with your grief and ask God for help, don't ignore him with a pill, it will never fix the problem right, it will just patch some of the symptoms.

 

[JCFantasy23]

Yes, anti-depressants are medications to fix an illness. Clinical depression is an illness. Grief is NOT an illness. Don't take anti-depressants to get over a horrible loss. You need to deal with your grief properly.

I am so sorry for your loss, I could not imagine the pain you are going through. Not to sound harsh, but the above is true. Antidepressants were designed for depressions caused by chemical imbalances. Hormones are used for this too - although not enough! If you are needing some medicine to help, which is perfectly understandable, I would look more toward anxiety meds or even mild tranquilizers.

Grief is so hard, the hardest thing there is. My thoughts and prayers are with you. A support group may help, or individual therapy, and time. Do you have a church you are involved with that may help as well?

 

[visionary]

Vit B complex... not eating has depleted your reserves.

 

[heron]

Our culture pats people on the back for moving on quickly.

Traditionally, Jews would not bathe for a week after the death. They made a rip in their clothing in a certain spot, showing whether they were parents, children or spouses. Children were not allowed to mend the rip. Other mourners could after 30 days.

For thirty days, mourners do not attend festivals, or get haircuts.
For a year, the mourners stand and say a mourning chant during temple services.

A friend told me her fellowship wears black in mourning for a year, and they are allowed to mourn six months longer. After that, friends are still expected to be considerate of a longer need to mourn.

Allow yourself to have an erratic sleep schedule.

You can accept the prescription, buy it, then self-monitor how much you want to use it. As others have said, some anti-depressants have side effects of suicidal thoughts, written right on the label. For some, it changes their lives for the better.
A lot of people find that St. Johnswort helps with mood, along with other supplements people listed. Valerian root helps with sleep and relaxation.

It is normal to be jumpy after having to adjust to an unexpected event.

The important thing is that you can get things done that would otherwise cause more trouble. (Utilities turned off, sleep deprivation causing an accident.) Narrow down your expectations to what has to be done, and what will feed your soul, keep you alive, and let the extras go.

You lost someone precious, and had to restructure your life and goals. You might not feel like there are any goals left. It will take time for everything to settle back to a positive outlook.
​

 

[Dixiecup]

Anti-depressants have a place and I hate that some Christians look down on those who take them. You have been through a huge loss and if you need some extra support through medication then by all means, do take them if you believe it's right for you after talking with your doctor. The only caution I urge with such medications is that you don't just cover the symptoms with the medication but always deal with the root cause of the depression as well. In your case, anti-depressants alongside grief counselling would be a good course of action to treat the symptoms and the cause. I'm sorry for your loss.

Great advice!! Christians must remember that when we put our trust in the medical community we are trusting God. Without God, the medical community would not the knowledge needed to help others.

 

[rockytriton]

Great advice!! Christians must remember that when we put our trust in the medical community we are trusting God. Without God, the medical community would not the knowledge needed to help others.

It's important that people know that your local doctor isn't generally an expert in all fields and they are quick to medicate.

 

[seajoy]

It's important that people know that your local doctor isn't generally an expert in all fields and they are quick to medicate.

It's also important to remember that we aren't doctors.

 

[woodwoman]

First, my condolences and fervent prayers for you.

A few months after my dad was diagnosed w/ cancer, mom went to her doctor and asked for a scrip for sleeping pills. The doc said "you know, you've got to deal with this." Mom said yeah, but not at 3 in the morning. Doc gave her a scrip.

If you're only sleeping 5-6 hours a night, you may not be getting enough rest. You need two cycles of REM sleep a night. Each cycle takes approx 2-3 hours and it takes a while to get into a REM cycle and to transition from one to the next. When you can't sleep night after night, the effects build. You may want to start with addressing the sleep issue. I went through this, took Ambien for 28 days. This re-set my sleep patterns and I had no need to take any more.

Use of meds only become a problem when they are misused. If you think that will become a problem for you, try something else, like herbals. If you're worried about the effects, do you have someone you see frequently or can come stay for a while to watch for bad effects? Remember that if you're taking anti-depressants, you need to take them as prescribed and don't skip doses. If you're in a quandary about whether or not taking anti-depressants makes you a bad person or that God will be disappointed with you, my answer would be no. Have mercy on yourself. Don't berate yourself or feel like a failure. God loves you just the way you are. Don't hesitate to reach out to a friend or pastor. Don't push yourself. There is a season for this. There is an end to the tunnel. Hang on, use what you think will help. The important thing is addressing this problem, not living up to what someone else thinks. God bless you.