Prayer Request My wife hurt me again

[LinkH]

Btw, I'll pray for you and her.

I don't know if gaslighting is the right term or not, but don't let her get away with blaming you for her sin. Call her on it. Stand your ground that what she did was wrong, and isn't the kind of thing you tolerate. It is not okay for her to look for affection from other men if you don't pay her enough attention one week or don't meet up to some ideal in her mind.

 

[Rhino521]

Do you have a church? I know you're starting counseling in February, but if you have a church maybe you could begin to talk some of this through with a pastor.

Yes we do have a home church I haven't talked to my pastor yet

 

[Rhino521]

Btw, I'll pray for you and her.

I don't know if gaslighting is the right term or not, but don't let her get away with blaming you for her sin. Call her on it. Stand your ground that what she did was wrong, and isn't the kind of thing you tolerate. It is not okay for her to look for affection from other men if you don't pay her enough attention one week or don't meet up to some ideal in her mind.

thank you for the support I appreciate it. She has been slowly revealing more. Thank you for the prayers I'm just really hopeing that they didn't go all the way.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

I was confused because I thought I seen this post before. I forgot you posted in another section to:
I need some awnsers

You got some good advice there also. How have things gone since that first post?

Shes now blaming you for it? I do realize sometimes a spouse can lead us to do something stupid, but in the end its still our choice to respond like that. She can blame you but she still made the choice. If I recall from the other thread she did this before you got married to right?I hope she keeps her word and does the counseling. Though she must realize she may not hear things she likes. But thats the point of it. To be told the truth so you can learn from it. I would point out to the counselor about the past too. I can understand not wanting to go public offline because it does make people judge in one way or another.

Ah ok so she has depression and other medical issues. Hmm. It could be a role in why she did what she did. I have to ask, but is there anything on your end you can think of that may add to the situation? Like maybe you don't say "I love you" as much...etc? I know after awhile the flame in the marriage dims unless you keep it lit. I know when my wife and I had issues we both looked at ourselves to see what maybe we were doing wrong.

I know in my case I stopped making romantic artwork for my wife and we got caught up in life. So we started doing "date nights" outside the house to go enjoy a dinner and movie. We made the flame bright again. Again not saying its your fault. I would ask her why she does blame you. Maybe there is something on her mind that she hasn't told you. Sometimes we tend to hold things in because we don't want to offend our spouse.

 

[writewords]

so to start before my wife and I got married durning the engagement she was sending pics of her self to another man.( pics only a husband should see)
She told me about it asked for my forgiveness and I forgave her. So we got married and are headed to 4 years of marriage in June. This last weekend she made out with another man. He was druck and remembered it all and even told me she wanted it to happen. She also asked me to forgive her and move on like nothing happened. I told her even though it was making out only according to what she said, I'm still hurt and I'll need some time to process this. 2 days latter she's nagging me about how it's my fault it happened and that she needs me to forgive her. I kind of have but I'm riding the fence on it. She says I'm over reacting. Am I over reacting. I told her we need to do counseling together or this won't work any more she got mad and an hour later agreed to counseling. I'm still very hurt I'm trying my best. I need prayer and support. I'm asking for it here bc I don't want the image of my wife to be tainted if the family knows or friends know. But I'm losing my mind over this.

No, you are not overreacting. Sounds like you are taking steps for your union. Do not be too trusting of her too fast. Seek the Lord.

 

[DZoolander]

So you've been married about 4 years, you're 23, and she's 25.

Married at 19, and 21? How long was the engagement for? How long did you two date before getting engaged? Did either of you have a decent dating history beforehand? How many serious boyfriends/girlfriends? Both virgins, or both had experiences beforehand?

 

[ChristopherK]

so to start before my wife and I got married durning the engagement she was sending pics of her self to another man.( pics only a husband should see)
She told me about it asked for my forgiveness and I forgave her. So we got married and are headed to 4 years of marriage in June. This last weekend she made out with another man. He was druck and remembered it all and even told me she wanted it to happen. She also asked me to forgive her and move on like nothing happened. I told her even though it was making out only according to what she said, I'm still hurt and I'll need some time to process this. 2 days latter she's nagging me about how it's my fault it happened and that she needs me to forgive her. I kind of have but I'm riding the fence on it. She says I'm over reacting. Am I over reacting. I told her we need to do counseling together or this won't work any more she got mad and an hour later agreed to counseling. I'm still very hurt I'm trying my best. I need prayer and support. I'm asking for it here bc I don't want the image of my wife to be tainted if the family knows or friends know. But I'm losing my mind over this.

Going to counseling is the best move. You'll get more clarity later. Don't dwell on things now. Wait until you both sit down in front of a profession Christian marital counselor.

 

[Fish Catcher Jim]

so to start before my wife and I got married durning the engagement she was sending pics of her self to another man.( pics only a husband should see)
She told me about it asked for my forgiveness and I forgave her. So we got married and are headed to 4 years of marriage in June. This last weekend she made out with another man. He was druck and remembered it all and even told me she wanted it to happen. She also asked me to forgive her and move on like nothing happened. I told her even though it was making out only according to what she said, I'm still hurt and I'll need some time to process this. 2 days latter she's nagging me about how it's my fault it happened and that she needs me to forgive her. I kind of have but I'm riding the fence on it. She says I'm over reacting. Am I over reacting. I told her we need to do counseling together or this won't work any more she got mad and an hour later agreed to counseling. I'm still very hurt I'm trying my best. I need prayer and support. I'm asking for it here bc I don't want the image of my wife to be tainted if the family knows or friends know. But I'm losing my mind over this.

Greetings @Rhino521
Brother been there and went through 5 years of it. I almost let it drive me crazy. Then I woke up. Stop listening to her lies and everyone else.

Took all my concerns and gut feelings and what I felt inside to prayer. Spent time with the Father alot. He showed me or gave me confirmation for each and every thing I suspected and showed me I was right.

I had to make a choice right then and there.
Do things His way or my way.
I chose His way and did what He said, friends and my boss told me I was stupid and got kind of mean with me.

Walking in Love and Forgiveness does not set well with many but it is big with God.

She stole my savings, cost me several jobs, pretty much trashed my truck and took my paid off boat and left the one with payments on it. My screen name will tell you that the boat was kind of important running a guide service.

Long story short, divorced and about a month later she begged me to take my boat back the project car and her car and more.
I took my boat and equipment and gave all her stuff to her dad.

I said all that for this.
Don't try to make it through this on your own, for it may destroy your life. Draw close to God and do what He says.
Praying for you
FCJ