Let me get this straight.
Jews go home to their promised land and find it occupied by squatters.
Nope, they abandoned their land. If that is the case it was no longer theirs. Actually it seems that you are believing the story that they went to Egypt and there does not seem to be any valid reason to believe that story. It does not appear to fare to well when it faces reality.
If said squatters don't vacate, they are to die.
Um, no. That is simply and obviously wrong. Even if they were squatters one can't kill them. Try leaving a house for a year and coming back. If you kill any squatters the law will not be on your side.
Some don't ... and they die.
You mean that they are murdered.
Through disobedience, not all squatters are terminated.
You are really stretching to try to make it look like those particular verses of the Bible are not rather evil. And you need to try again. These people were not squatters. Until you prove that they were squatters you are making false accusations against them. Secondly this did not apply only to people conquered by the ancient Hebrews. You need to study your Bible some more.
God goes to Plan B:
If you're going to let them live, at least make them bond servants.
What? Where do you get that claim from?
Now it's thousands of years later, and the scene shifts to America.
Wait a second you still failed to support your nonsensical claim about what happened in the Bible. Until you do you really can't make any applications elsewhere. But out of curiosity let's see where you fail next.
What exactly do you want us Christians to do?
Why just limit it do Christians? How about everyone be held to the same standards. Slavery is wrong. It was wrong in the past. By those standards the Hebrews were doubly wrong. First for attacking people in their own land and then for making slaves of them and other foreigners.
Simply don't have slaves. Even in war if one defeats a country the civilian population is to be left alone.
I'm confused by all this bickering about slavery in some odd mistranslations of the Bible.
I know, it is more than apparent that the Biblical position is wrong.
And I can't ... for the life of me ... figure out what you want us to do.
Once again, it is simple. Act morally. Jesus even laid it out for you. The one thing that he definitely got right was the Golden Rule. If you don't want to be a slave, you should not enslave others.
Are you submitting yourselves to us for indentured servanthood?
No, are you? Again, don't ask silly questions. All one has to do is to act morally as Jesus would have you act.
Or are you expecting us to go grab someone and make them act as our maids and valets and butlers and handymen?
No, I don't expect you to follow the Bible in that way. It seems that you are having a hard time following this conversation. It is about how parts of the Bible advocate immoral behavior.
What exactly are you guys harping about?
It can't be slavery ... that word isn't even in the Bible.
Please, the last is an equivocation error on your part. Just because the English word "slavery" is not in the Bible it does not mean that the Bible did not advocate for slavery. You can use the Hebrew word if you want, it does not make any difference.