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Trigger Warning My Triggers Part 2

Discussion in 'Trauma, PTSD & Dissociation' started by waves, Jan 6, 2019.

  1. waves

    waves not so new

    To show me what is going on in my life Jesus Christ uses dreams so I can see what I otherwise would not see.

    Oftentimes the following occurs:

    (a) I see a guy or guys and immediately feels drawn to them sexually

    (b) As a result I go over to talk with that guy or guys and as I begin doing so I feel my sexual alters emerging

    (c) Then naturally, I touch them in a simple way and my sexually alters fully emerges

    My abusers has put people around me who hate me including former high school friends, classmates, and other persons I am not familiar with. They do this to trigger my alters to react angry, sad, etc hoping to make my situation with my alters much worst which it does

    (a) When I go out in public especially in certain areas such as my former high school, college there are girls around me who constantly do everything to make me feel uncomfortable.
    This causes my alters to experience more trauma to an already very traumatic situation. Therefore this serves to re traumatize my alters. Where my alters know that they are always watched, that they are always threatened, bullied etc That there is no escape from bad persons around me

    (b) All my former friends and classmates especially from high school in reality hate me, all of them, although they pretend to be a genuine friend. Not only that, but they purposely do everything to be around me, not giving me space, act friendly sometimes.

    As a result, however because they act 'normal' and I 'don't,' people who see me believe that I am the one who is a problem and that my friends are nice and I am a horrible person who treats them bad. That my former friend and classmates are good while I am bad.

    These actions former friends and classmates takes further re traumatizes me, making me fully aware again that no matter where I go, that people who hate me is always around

    (c) In my dreams apparently I go to my former high school regularly, and sure enough my former friends and classmates hang around there as well on purpose. Why is it that after I started visiting my former high school regularly, former friends and classmates start to appear there regularly like me. Then when I object to their presence I am seen as a bad person, because they use to be at my former classroom and has a right to be there as I am.

    How can it be a mere coincidence that every time I go somewhere regularly, my former friends, former classmates, and other who hates me sudddenly start to hang around those places I go to, and around me all the time.

    (d) The same thing happens in college where apparently I attend classes and these same people are always around me all the time.

    I remember in a dream God showing me a former classmates who was following me up and down closely where ever I went, no matter where I went.

    This is what I have been going through regularly with no end in sight. My abusers purposely send people who know me to follow me, make me feel uncomfortable, make me feel defensive regularly, making me feel extremely uncomfortable in public like I don't belong there.
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. Maxsteel

    Maxsteel New Member

    Last edited: Feb 14, 2019
  3. Maxsteel

    Maxsteel New Member

    I replied before but i dont understand what happened when i tried to edit it. I'm sorry for what you've been going through. But I believe it can stop. I was also abused, not something i want to talk about. I don't know how things are now but i am wishing you the Best in life! That the life and joy you want will come in Jesus name! Amen.
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2019