My Testimony
Boston Missions Trip, July 9-16, 2007
I felt a calling on my way home from Thursday night when Joe mentioned the possibility of going on the trip. I felt a voice inside me saying go on this trip, you will learn what you dont know about yourself and it will be more than you could ever imagine. Because of this I decided to go on the trip to Boston. As the week went along, sometime I think Thursday night/Friday morning, I started to think wow I havent really learnt that much about myself so far and this trip is on its way to a close. Well I threw that aside and said that God will show me and teach me what he called me here to learn when he feels that I am ready. On Saturday night at the debriefing, it all started to hit me for what happened. In the moment I realized that I dont live my life to the fullest, and that I dont do what all I need to and should be doing. I live my life at my computer and dont move from there unless I have to, well that needs to start changing. I also started to learn about how it isnt just the beginning and end points on our journey that count but all that space in the middle is what matters. I drive from where I live to the Ohio State University campus area each week, I also dont pay attention to the people that I pass, just so long as I get to my destination, well those in the middle are the ones I should start to look at.
Well after Church and Boston on Sunday, I hung out with people as we rested at the ministry center, about 11pm I went upstairs to head towards bed because we were getting up early to leave for Columbus. I had been talking to Megan S via AIM on my phone. I decided to call her and so I went to the bottom of the stairs that lead to the 3rd floor but kept the door leading to those stairs from the 2nd floor shut. This is a wooden staircase that is a spiral configuration, not the most comfortable place to be at any time. I made my call it lasted about 20 minutes and then I texted Malika twice before thinking about getting ready to head back up and ready for bed. Well, I decided to pray while I was laying there on the stairs. The moment that I started to pray, I felt a presence there with me such that I felt God there with me as I Prayed. With him there I was able to open my heart, speak from within myself, speak from my heart and truly be honest with myself as I prayed. My prayers that night brought myself to tears, that is just how honest I was able to be with myself. After I had finished praying, the feeling of that presence of God stayed with me and I wanted to fall asleep with God right there on the stairs, no matter how uncomfortable I might have been then or in the morning, I wanted to stay there with him/that is where I felt that I needed to be. The feeling began to lessen after about 15-20 minutes and I went up the stairs to go to bed as I was unable to fall asleep on the stairs.
Monday morning comes around, I get packed to go back to Columbus and we head to the airport. I was alone there as I had to take different flights from everyone else. While I sat in the terminal waiting from my flight, I began to sit there and think I really dont want to get on this plane, I want to stay here and help the church in more ways still. Regardless I had to come back, I had a job and school that I couldnt just abandon. Ever since Sunday night when I had this experience, my mind had been on overdrive trying to understand what all had been said to me and that I had learnt from the trip.
Tuesday at school I was still having my mind race and I couldnt pay attention in class. I went to work Tuesday night still with this problem. On Tuesday night at about 4am or so the final piece of the puzzle was finally put together by my mind. I was able to connect the guys campout retreat to the Boston Missions Trip. I had only been going to Chi Alpha Campus Ministries, XA, for about three weeks before the campout was supposed to happen so nobody was really expecting me to go as I barely knew two people. I had plans scheduled for that weekend that had ended up being canceled on the Tuesday before the campout. I heard something inside me tell me to go with the guys. I decided at that time that the trip would be a good way to learn peoples names and so I went with the voice and went. I wore shoes that were a half size to small on the trip. To prevent blisters from the shoes I put duck tape on the back of my ankles so shoe rubs on tape not on skin. Well on day two of the trip, I didnt get the tape in the right spot and then I had to carry a fairly large branch/small log downhill from campsite to the lake. At the lake David Weaks and I were paired up to hike halfway around the lake but we had to keep the branch above our heads the entire time. We kept it up and we as well as another group kept the fastest pace such that we were about a two minute jog ahead of the rest of the group when we got to the marker that indicated we were supposed to stop. We waited for everybody to catch up and then we turned around and headed back to where we started. By the time we got back to where we started, we had once again created the large gap. At this point we were allowed to drop the branches and head back uphill on a 30 to 45 degree slope back to camp. Now at this point I have a blister on my ankle because I didnt get the tape on right before starting. I decided to take the branch with me as a walking stick instead of discarding it. That branch did more that act as a walking stick for me, that branch seemed to push me, to encourage me, to make me keep going to fight my way back to camp. When I got back to camp, I sacrificed that branch to the fire with hope that as it burns, it will spread that determination that it gave me to everybody that was there. It helped me to learn that no matter what I may want to do, if God wants me to do something and I need to do that, I can push myself farther than I can imagine, to accomplish many things that I may see out of reach at that time.
It is that lesson that helped me to decide to go on the Boston trip. While I did feel called to go, the lesson I learnt at the campout is what helped me to get through a couple of things such as the prayer station because I am not an overly outpouring person when it comes to verbal prayer with others.
I am finally starting to draw a couple conclusions that may or may not be 100% correct. First, when I felt that go with the guys coming from within me before the campout, was God testing me, possibly wondering He is new to being with me, is he willing to listen to me and follow what I tell him. And when I decided to follow the voice, God decided to reward me with the lesson about being able to do anything that God wants me to do and anything that I have to do. That lesson was there to prepare me because God knew I would need that lesson to help push me while I was going on the Boston trip so that I would be able to reach out to people and do things that are way outside my normal comfort zone.
So I am left with that, was God testing me, and if so was my lesson my reward?
Boston Missions Trip, July 9-16, 2007
I felt a calling on my way home from Thursday night when Joe mentioned the possibility of going on the trip. I felt a voice inside me saying go on this trip, you will learn what you dont know about yourself and it will be more than you could ever imagine. Because of this I decided to go on the trip to Boston. As the week went along, sometime I think Thursday night/Friday morning, I started to think wow I havent really learnt that much about myself so far and this trip is on its way to a close. Well I threw that aside and said that God will show me and teach me what he called me here to learn when he feels that I am ready. On Saturday night at the debriefing, it all started to hit me for what happened. In the moment I realized that I dont live my life to the fullest, and that I dont do what all I need to and should be doing. I live my life at my computer and dont move from there unless I have to, well that needs to start changing. I also started to learn about how it isnt just the beginning and end points on our journey that count but all that space in the middle is what matters. I drive from where I live to the Ohio State University campus area each week, I also dont pay attention to the people that I pass, just so long as I get to my destination, well those in the middle are the ones I should start to look at.
Well after Church and Boston on Sunday, I hung out with people as we rested at the ministry center, about 11pm I went upstairs to head towards bed because we were getting up early to leave for Columbus. I had been talking to Megan S via AIM on my phone. I decided to call her and so I went to the bottom of the stairs that lead to the 3rd floor but kept the door leading to those stairs from the 2nd floor shut. This is a wooden staircase that is a spiral configuration, not the most comfortable place to be at any time. I made my call it lasted about 20 minutes and then I texted Malika twice before thinking about getting ready to head back up and ready for bed. Well, I decided to pray while I was laying there on the stairs. The moment that I started to pray, I felt a presence there with me such that I felt God there with me as I Prayed. With him there I was able to open my heart, speak from within myself, speak from my heart and truly be honest with myself as I prayed. My prayers that night brought myself to tears, that is just how honest I was able to be with myself. After I had finished praying, the feeling of that presence of God stayed with me and I wanted to fall asleep with God right there on the stairs, no matter how uncomfortable I might have been then or in the morning, I wanted to stay there with him/that is where I felt that I needed to be. The feeling began to lessen after about 15-20 minutes and I went up the stairs to go to bed as I was unable to fall asleep on the stairs.
Monday morning comes around, I get packed to go back to Columbus and we head to the airport. I was alone there as I had to take different flights from everyone else. While I sat in the terminal waiting from my flight, I began to sit there and think I really dont want to get on this plane, I want to stay here and help the church in more ways still. Regardless I had to come back, I had a job and school that I couldnt just abandon. Ever since Sunday night when I had this experience, my mind had been on overdrive trying to understand what all had been said to me and that I had learnt from the trip.
Tuesday at school I was still having my mind race and I couldnt pay attention in class. I went to work Tuesday night still with this problem. On Tuesday night at about 4am or so the final piece of the puzzle was finally put together by my mind. I was able to connect the guys campout retreat to the Boston Missions Trip. I had only been going to Chi Alpha Campus Ministries, XA, for about three weeks before the campout was supposed to happen so nobody was really expecting me to go as I barely knew two people. I had plans scheduled for that weekend that had ended up being canceled on the Tuesday before the campout. I heard something inside me tell me to go with the guys. I decided at that time that the trip would be a good way to learn peoples names and so I went with the voice and went. I wore shoes that were a half size to small on the trip. To prevent blisters from the shoes I put duck tape on the back of my ankles so shoe rubs on tape not on skin. Well on day two of the trip, I didnt get the tape in the right spot and then I had to carry a fairly large branch/small log downhill from campsite to the lake. At the lake David Weaks and I were paired up to hike halfway around the lake but we had to keep the branch above our heads the entire time. We kept it up and we as well as another group kept the fastest pace such that we were about a two minute jog ahead of the rest of the group when we got to the marker that indicated we were supposed to stop. We waited for everybody to catch up and then we turned around and headed back to where we started. By the time we got back to where we started, we had once again created the large gap. At this point we were allowed to drop the branches and head back uphill on a 30 to 45 degree slope back to camp. Now at this point I have a blister on my ankle because I didnt get the tape on right before starting. I decided to take the branch with me as a walking stick instead of discarding it. That branch did more that act as a walking stick for me, that branch seemed to push me, to encourage me, to make me keep going to fight my way back to camp. When I got back to camp, I sacrificed that branch to the fire with hope that as it burns, it will spread that determination that it gave me to everybody that was there. It helped me to learn that no matter what I may want to do, if God wants me to do something and I need to do that, I can push myself farther than I can imagine, to accomplish many things that I may see out of reach at that time.
It is that lesson that helped me to decide to go on the Boston trip. While I did feel called to go, the lesson I learnt at the campout is what helped me to get through a couple of things such as the prayer station because I am not an overly outpouring person when it comes to verbal prayer with others.
I am finally starting to draw a couple conclusions that may or may not be 100% correct. First, when I felt that go with the guys coming from within me before the campout, was God testing me, possibly wondering He is new to being with me, is he willing to listen to me and follow what I tell him. And when I decided to follow the voice, God decided to reward me with the lesson about being able to do anything that God wants me to do and anything that I have to do. That lesson was there to prepare me because God knew I would need that lesson to help push me while I was going on the Boston trip so that I would be able to reach out to people and do things that are way outside my normal comfort zone.
So I am left with that, was God testing me, and if so was my lesson my reward?
