my struggles

[PjC23565]

i have OCD, and its gotten a lot better i have to say. i look back and i say wow!! thank you Lord that im not where i was. now im slowly but surely getting better.

what im struggling with now, that is quite scary for me, is bad thoughts about the Holy Spirit. which leads to an unforgivable sin fear. i know what the unforgivalbe sin fear is but its hard. i get thoughts and sometimes its an feeling of anger as well, which makes me think i mean it then i get REALLY scared. but anyways back to my thought. i have thoughst like "the Holy Sprirt cant stop me" and i get that thought when im doing ANYTHING, eating, sleeping, whatever. and when i get that thought of the Holy Spirit not stoping me, and continue to do what i was doing, makes me really think im going to hell. anyone who loves the Lord as much as i do, and needs him as much as i do, has the Holy Spirit right??

 

[marcb]

I am recovering from nearly 2 months of being bombarded by unwanted bad thoughts about the Holy Spirit. These tortured my soul. At times, I was convinced I was doomed. The more I tried to rid myself of these thoughts and avoid them, the stronger they got. Whatever emotion I carried, the thoughts matched, which was scary when I became angry (at the situation).

We have to realize these are fear related. We are not doubting at all that Jesus works' were of the Holy Spirit. Our OCD causes us to doubt that we can avoid committing the "unpardonble sin," which is our ultimate fear. We become so determined to avoid these thoughts that they appear in an unwanted manner. It's like the example "don't think about a pink elephant."

We also have to recognize context as our brains heal. Jesus was talking to his enemies, who boldly and publicly stated that Jesus was casting out demons by Satan's power (I am afraid to even write those words and sadly had these thoughts against my will as well). This was THE blaspheme against the Holy Spirit. Jesus was not talking to us as Christians. We would not be Christians if we saw these erroneous accusations as truth or were trying to publicly discredit Christ's work here on earth. Therefore, we would not be seeking Christ's love and mercy if we were truly void of the Holy Spirit.

I think you will find Romans Chapter 7 & 8 reassuring; we can relate to Paul's struggles with "the law" and conclusions about "grace." He also talks about our freedom from "bondage to fear." (which is the essence of OCD).

Romans 8:1 States that there is "no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

Romans 8 also states that the Spirit interceeds on our behalf (because of our infirmities) because we do not know how to pray as we ought.

1 John 3:20 States "if your heart condemns you, remember that God is greater than your heart"

I hope this helps, my friend. Keep the faith. Marc

 

[powerofprayer]

Dear Pjc23565,
"The Lord searches all hearts and He understands all the imaginations of the mind." 1 Chronicles 28:9

I have suffered from OCD my whole life...but it wasn't until someone reminded me that God created my mind ~ He understands that its slightly "messed up". My doubts & fears are put to rest when I remember that God knows my heart regardless of what my mind sometimes thinks. I hope this helps.
I will be praying for you!

 

[allen_the_music_man]

Pjc:

No matter what you go through, the Lord will be with you at all times. He made us a promise before He was taken into heaven. He said that He would be with us always, even unto the end of the world. I know you probably feel alone and scared, but don't worry! The Lord is always there by your side.

If you need anyone to talk to, send me a message. I've gone through the same things you're going through.

And remember that if you feel you can't turn to anyone else, turn to God!

In His Name,
Allen

 

[Akathist]

Just like the other posters here I wanted to remind you that NOTHING can seperate us from the Love of God. He loves you no matter what thoughts you have!

 

[FlowerpotMan]

Hi pjc,

Please, stop worrying about having committed of committing that sin because of a thought. Those thoughts are not from God and they are wrong.

Your worries show me something else: That you probably get too little spiritual nourishment. Do you spend some time with people you like reading the Bible, talking about the Bible and your thoughts and feelings, attending church service, singing your favorite songs? Do you get encouragement and faith strengthening words?

Your brother in Christ,
Manuel.