My Struggle

[SeekinTruth]

Hello all ... This isn't my first time on these boards ... but due to reasons of embarrassment and other things I'm not willing to discuss I created a new I.D. for myself.

Anyway, I have been struggling heavily with homosexual desires and drives. And one of the biggest problems I am having is that I am not convinced it is wrong. Ever since I was about 10-11 years old I have been attracted to men. Thats within what some people would call the age of innocence right? If so how were these attractions wrong? But anyway I've been strolling through some of the other debates on this topic and I am not getting any clear answers. I have heard both sides of the argument it is wrong and it isn't wrong and valid reasons have been given to support each side. I am just trying to make sense of this all ... I feel completely lost and in need of answers. What are your collective thoughts on this. Is it wrong and why or is it ok and why?

Thanks

 

[ChaliceThunder]

Hello all ... This isn't my first time on these boards ... but due to reasons of embarrassment and other things I'm not willing to discuss I created a new I.D. for myself.

Anyway, I have been struggling heavily with homosexual desires and drives. And one of the biggest problems I am having is that I am not convinced it is wrong. Ever since I was about 10-11 years old I have been attracted to men. Thats within what some people would call the age of innocence right? If so how were these attractions wrong? But anyway I've been strolling through some of the other debates on this topic and I am not getting any clear answers. I have heard both sides of the argument it is wrong and it isn't wrong and valid reasons have been given to support each side. I am just trying to make sense of this all ... I feel completely lost and in need of answers. What are your collective thoughts on this. Is it wrong and why or is it ok and why?

Thanks

Hey SeekinTruth,

Jesus tells us that we shall know the truth and it shall set us free. Listen to Jesus in your heart, pray unceasingly, and try to be at peace while you are discerning.

From my own walk with God, I can tell you that homosexuality in itself is not a sin. In fact, God has brought great blessing into my life, beginning with the whole "coming out" process. Before coming out, I had accepted the shame that some well-meaning but wrong-headed/wrong-hearted Christians heaped upon me and upon all gay people. I can only tell you that, in experiencing their rejection and abusive attitudes, I found myself cast into darkness.

It was God who brought the light back in. He showed me that I was created to serve him just as I am - the way he made me. 23 years ago he brought a wonderful partner into my life, and we have lived faithfully ever since. We have a wonderful church family in which we serve. They love and support us, as we love and support them. Sexual orientation is just not an issue.

God continues to bless us, and I have countless witnesses of others who experience the very same blessings from God. It is a great testament to God's faithfulness and love. He cares for you so deeply.

I pray that you will experience this great light as well, and that you will feel uplifted, nurtured and cherished by him, just as he made you!

If you need an ear, please feel free to PM me.



CT

 

[OllieFranz]

Just let me echo ChaliceThunder's welcome. I would really suggest that you take him up on his offer of support. He can be a good friend. No one should have to struggle through this alone.

​

 

[Concetta]

Welcome back and God bless you all

 

[KalithAlur]

a literal interpretation of the bible would lead me to conclude scripture condemns homosexuality

the wickedest city was considered so wicked in part because homosexuality was practiced there.

but i say think for yourself, don't believe everything you read

 

[HuntingMan]

Hello all ... This isn't my first time on these boards ... but due to reasons of embarrassment and other things I'm not willing to discuss I created a new I.D. for myself.

Anyway, I have been struggling heavily with homosexual desires and drives. And one of the biggest problems I am having is that I am not convinced it is wrong. Ever since I was about 10-11 years old I have been attracted to men. Thats within what some people would call the age of innocence right? If so how were these attractions wrong? But anyway I've been strolling through some of the other debates on this topic and I am not getting any clear answers. I have heard both sides of the argument it is wrong and it isn't wrong and valid reasons have been given to support each side. I am just trying to make sense of this all ... I feel completely lost and in need of answers. What are your collective thoughts on this. Is it wrong and why or is it ok and why?

Thanks

My suggestion is that you hurry off this forum before you are lead to believe that God is 'ok' with men having sex with men.....He ISNT.
Sexual orientation IS a big deal, regardless of what another poster has stated to you.

I would very strongly recommend that you get into Gods WHOLE word on the matter and see for yourself if there is even a single instance of men ever being ok to have sex with other men.

Sex is 'lawful' in one arena alone that is in a marriage between a man and a woman. Outside of THAT scriptural union, ALL other sexual activity is 'fornication' by default and is sin.

The poster above is simply deluding himself into thinking that God has blessed his fornications with another man.
Dont do the same to yourself, friend.

Let me add that that is a pretty young age to start having sexual feelings or attraction physically to either sex...let alone the same.
Not prying, but is there any physical or sexual abuse in your history prior to that time?
Any sexual activity before then?

praying for you enlightenment and that the Lord helps you to get away from any influence that will cause you to stumble.

 

[MsScarlett]

Let me add that that is a pretty young age to start having sexual feelings or attraction physically to either sex...let alone the same.

I had a boyfriend in kindergarten. There was certainly nothing sexual about it - I just knew he was my boyfriend. We are what we are.

 

[HuntingMan]

I had a boyfriend in kindergarten. There was certainly nothing sexual about it - I just knew he was my boyfriend. We are what we are.

We all had them at that age...but that isnt what the OP said...

Ever since I was about 10-11 years old I have been attracted to men. Thats within what some people would call the age of innocence right? If so how were these attractions wrong?

Attraction to grown MEN at age 11 is hardly the same as a kindergarden crush your age.

Which is why I felt that the private communications suggestion was innappropriate by the first responder.

If a 19 year old heterosexual GIRL came onto this forum who said something like "Im terribly confused, but Im having trouble with desiring MEN"....does any christian here believe that it would be even remotely appropriate for ME...a 42 year old man to not only tell her to 'go with her heart' or whatever, but then invite her to a private communique as well?
Id hope that responsible christians would have a FIT if man of my age tried to console her in private.

I hope you see my point.

 

[tulc]

the wickedest city was considered so wicked in part because homosexuality was practiced there.

...uhmm no, not really.
tulc(anyone got coffee?)

 

[SeekinTruth]

Not prying, but is there any physical or sexual abuse in your history prior to that time?
Any sexual activity before then?

Not that I can recolect ... I've grown up in a Christian home surrounded by christian people ... i myself am a Christian, I've accepted the lord into my heart and life as my one true savior! But i have been struggling with this for a long time ... almost 10 years. And yes I agree with that it was a young age to start feeling these attractions ...

 

[KalithAlur]

Gen 19:5-8 "and they called to Lot and said to him, 'Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may have relations with them.' But Lot went out to them at the doorway, and shut the door behind him, and said, 'Please, my brothers, do not act wickedly.'"

Lev. 18:22, "You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination."

Lev. 20:13, "If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltness is upon them"

1 Cor. 6:9-10, "Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God."

Rom. 1:26-28, "For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, 27and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error. 28And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper."

"Sodom" and .... they committed the "terrible sin", sodomy.

I don't think sexual feelings at 11-12 is all that young. it's actually fairly normal. puberty started for me at that age, and while "lust" hadn't fully developed into what could properly be termed _LUST_, those kinds of feelings were beginning to develop.

I don't condem homosexuality in the least. in fact, all i can say is to be truly ethical takes a bit of stepping away from your conditioning and considering a multitude of perspectives, especially including perspectives that clash with your own.

you'r really limiting yourself when you say, "This book is an ultimate authority," because now you'r letting that one book think for you.

 

[Armistead]

Are you struggling with drives or are you gay?

 

[tulc]

"Sodom" and .... they committed the "terrible sin", sodomy.

Was this to address my comment?
tulc(just want to be sure before I say more)

 

[KalithAlur]

yes tulc

 

[Ave Maria]

Go ahead and get you a boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with it. I can promise you that.

 

[SeekinTruth]

Are you struggling with drives or are you gay?

This is a hard question to answer (silly aint it) ... Cause at times I can find myself attracted to women ... *sigh* im just really lost and seeking answers. kalith you bring up valid scripture ... and putting it simply the bible seems to condemn Homosexuality. And all things said and done and if this were true ... and that it is true then how do I make the attraction cease. For about as long as I can remember I have been this way. And believe me I have prayed my face blue to god to somehow open the doorway to set me free if this whole thing with me is like it says in the Bible "An Abomination" ...

I would go to someone, and I probably should however I also have a fear of man and I am very sensitive to what people think about me ... in fact i really care what people think about me, and I know if my family were to find out about me or anyone else I know were to they would never look at me the same way or treat me the same way and that ... those thoughts are unbearable.

 

[KalithAlur]

you are mentioning some important self-esteem issues.

there are rare instances when the troubling self-esteem function is replaced with some other kind of happiness. that way you don't have to worry about being too proud or too humbled/humiliated, and your perspective isn't clouded by when you protect your sense of self-worth by hiding information that might threaten it, and so on...

for the rest of us, we need to find a positive way to feed our self-esteem function.

I might suggest at least trying to separate your sense of self-worth from what other people think about you, and as you are struggling to be a good Christian, ground yourself in your relationship to Christ. Know that you are loved unconditionally, and try to connect to that unconditional love.

when i was struggling with my Christian Dogmatism, I said a prayer to Christ, "Communicate to me, if what I am doing is wrong, that it is wrong, and why. And if it isn't wrong, give me the strength to overcome what I have been conditioned to believe." this was a significant breakthrough for me...

I suggest some intense truth-seeking, which may last years, or even your whole life, and the promise to yourself, "That I always strive to have the courage to accept what the evidence tells me, however inconvenient or uncomfortable."

 

[tulc]

yes tulc

Really? Because I thought they were trying to rape the Angels. And that has nothing to do with being gay.
The rest of the scriptures you list aren't about Sodom. The Bible says they were destroyed for oppressing the poor, being full and not helping others.

"Sodom" and .... they committed the "terrible sin", sodomy.

Calling gay sex "sodomy" is a cultural thing, not a Biblical thing.
tulc(drinking some great coffee!)

 

[KalithAlur]

you win

 

[YourChild]

And all things said and done and if this were true ... and that it is true then how do I make the attraction cease.

go to a church that does deliverance and ask a deliverance minister to cast out the demon that is causing you to be homosexual. meantime you should read up more on deliverance and the kinds of effects demons can have within the person. Whether you are a believer or nonbeliever, almost every person who has never undergone deliverance have demons in them thats causing them to do things against God's Will.

you should post up your topic in the Deliverance Ministry section of this site. The Christians in that part of the forum are involved in deliverance and they will tell why your sexual orientation is not the way God intend it to be.

meantime you can visit this page and read up more about deliverance.

www.demonbuster.com