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My Struggle

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thebrent

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Whoever will listen,

I'm not sure how you would classify me but here is my plight:
Early on I was never religious. At age 15, my girlfriend at the time had been going to church her entire life and she persuaded me to go. I did, and was changed profoundly. At the first service I heard the voice of something more powerful and compelling than anything I'd ever heard before. I know that something was God. He broke me down and allowed me to see love so deep it could literally stop me in my tracks. I knew I had found my Savior. After a few months my faith in Jesus Christ led me to found a Fellowship of Christian Athletes at my high school. Along with a tight-nit group of friends we attended meetings, went to FCA Leadership Camps, and enjoyed walking in God's Path. Somehow, during my senior year I suddenly lost everything. I lost the ability to truly call on the Lord and assure myself that He heard me. I quit going to church, quit leading FCA, and totally lost myself. Since then (I'm now 21), I have fleeting moments of faith, but nothing to solidly grab onto. I feel lost. I don't know if I am Christian or not. From my heart...somewhere deep inside me the Lord is begging me to let Him out again. It feels like homesickness. Like you can see where you need to be, but it's a glass ceiling I'm stuck under. I don't know what to do, where to turn to, who to talk to, so this is my hand...I'm reaching.
 

angelwind

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Hello there...I think many will be taking your hand and listening to you here...welcome to Cf.

We all walk by faith, not by sight, not by feelings, but by God's word to us...even when we seem to have no light...He is the light. Do you believe that Jesus is God?...God the Son who died for every man and paid for every sin...so that we may have peace...peace with Him and His Father. What you believe about Jesus is the first test for your faith...not how you feel...our emotions can be very unreliable.

Lord, I pray that this young man will find himself again...find himself in You.
 
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crossrunner

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Guess what....we all go through similar struggles. Sometimes we are called to faith when the "feelings" aren't there and sometimes we allow doubt to creep in. God must have something truly special for you and the enemy is doing what he can to prevent you from realizing it.
Spend time in prayer (even when you don't feel God is there...you know He is!), spend time in God's Word (faith comes by hearing the Word of God) and spend time in fellowship with other believers (God created us to need each other...not to be alone). PM me if you have any questions...I will do the best I can to answer you and to encourage you.

BTW...God never lets go of us. I believe that you are still His.
 
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bethdinsmore

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thebrent said:
Whoever will listen,...
I feel lost. I don't know if I am Christian or not. From my heart...somewhere deep inside me the Lord is begging me to let Him out again. It feels like homesickness. Like you can see where you need to be, but it's a glass ceiling I'm stuck under. I don't know what to do, where to turn to, who to talk to, so this is my hand...I'm reaching.
..............................................

Dear brent:
I am so sorry you are having these painful struggles. Perhaps this will help with the doubts about your being a Christian:


Here are some things to consider in order to know for sure:

If you stood before God at the entrance gates to Heaven, and He asked you "Why should I let you into Heaven?" - what would you tell Him?

Please take a moment and think about that before reading on..........

The answer would be wrong if it included anything about your good works, or promising to be good.

The answer would be right if it showed nothing but a reliance on Jesus to save you, based on His death on the cross to pay for all your sins and to get you to Heaven one day.

Here's the Gospel:

Rom 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, (NIV)
Rom 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (NIV)
Eph 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. (NIV)
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (NIV)

And eternal is exactly what it is - we cannot lose our salvation no matter what we do or don't do, or how we feel:
Rom 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (NIV)
Rom 11:29 for God's gifts and his call are irrevocable. (NIV)
John 10:28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. (NIV)

And here is God's guarantee:
I Jn 5:13 I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. (NIV)

So - we just make the decision to rely on Christ alone to be our sinbearer and to get us to Heaven one day, without any good works or promises of our own. In other words, "faith alone in Christ alone plus nothing".

If you haven't made that decision yet, I pray that you would do so now. Next time you start wondering, friend, just remember God's guarantee.


Once you are a Christian, sin will break your fellowship with God (but not take away your salvation). And confession and restored fellowship is only a breath away.

Aloha in Jesus :wave:


 
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SmackDaddy

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As I have learned in marriage, love is not always a feeling, but often is a decision. We don't always feel love for our spouses, but we make a determined effort to CHOOSE to love....and through that commitment, the feelings may or often follow. It's that way with faith sometimes.

Personally speaking, the road I am on is not exactly a "decision" but I am making decisions to persist, despite my skepticism.....and the evidence, which I always had thought was in the balance/favor of christianity, doesn't seem to be so any longer.....but.....I persevere for now, as I'd charge you to do as well....
 
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bethdinsmore

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guiltytiburon

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Hey Brent,

I had gone through the same thing as you. I thought I was a good Christian but I strayed away from Christ when I got into High School. I thought I had no time and had friends to attend to. After high school I would work 6 or 7 days a week to try to get ahead in the rat race and thought I had no time for Christ. And like you I felt empty inside and life was not very enjoyable. But I came back to God through my girlfriend (like you) and I am so much happier! I think you need to pray to God to ask him for help. Prayer is an amazing thing. He does listen. But you can't get discouraged if it takes awhile. If you believe in what you pray for he will help you out. Remember the devil is working overtime on you and he wants you to give up on Christ. If you haven't already, ask God to forgive your sins and to come into your life. Ask him to save you! I think it might help if you asked the preacher at your church to pray for you too. I know it might be uncomfortable if you haven't gone in awhile but I think it will help. And I like what Crossrunner wrote, being in the presence of other Christians will help out. Call up some of your old Christian buddys and I bet they will be there for you. Just like everyone at CF are here if you need us! I will be praying for you. GOD BLESS!
 
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L.A.W.

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thebrent,

Don't give up hope. Of how I see it, you haven't read the scriptures lately so you're now falling further away from His truth and that's why you feel lost and unsure. You need to come back to Him. Keep praying and read the scriptures daily that you may keep your heart in Him. Your oil has run dried, you need to fill up your jar with oil again and next time keep it full until it overflows. The oil I'm talking about is the Holy Spirit.
 
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dvd_holc

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Hello thebrent,

Just let me say that your problem is our problem. Your pain is our pain. Tell me, why did you believe the first time? Is that reason or reasons still true and trustoworthy? Also, what was the event or events that lead you to stop being faithful to God? Is it a action that you did, or something another person did to you that changed you? Tell me what exactly are you missing? I believe to be God, and you think it (might, possible, feel, or know) is God? What is stopping you from praying or feeling God's pressence? Is there another life out there that is better than God's desires for your life? Do you even know God's desires for your life?
 
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karen freeinchristman

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Hi! :wave: Here's something I was reading this morning by Bruce Larson that might help:




"When Jesus started the Church, he gathered twelve people and said "Follow me" - which means that truth is a person, not a concept. God in Christ asks "Will you change who runs your life?" So conversion is not just accepting a high Christology; conversion is giving up your self-centeredness, and letting Jesus become the living center of your life, and becoming a part of what Jesus is doing in the world.



In this sense, the Church is full of unconverted people who have a high Christology. So, many "Christian" people, even "evangelical" people, live like the outsider lives.
When a person is seeking, don't try to sell him your brand of theology or ethics or the doctrine of your church. Simply say in some form, 'Well, if you want to meet Christ, he's here and he love you. He died for you, he wants to live in you. If you're tired of running your own life and you want him to take over, tell him and I will be your witness.'"



So, thebrent, if you feel you can tell Christ you want him to take over your life, I am sure all of us here would be very happy to be your witness.




with love
 
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bethdinsmore

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Hi again - :)

a clarification: salvation is a free gift, that we accept without working for it or promising to be good.

Eph 2:8-10 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--9 not by works, so that no one can boast. (NIV)

Rom 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (NIV)

Discipleship, however, is optional for a Christian. A person can be a Christian without being a disciple. God's desire,however, is that we all choose to be disciples, depending on His strength to accomplish what He desires for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (NIV)

And that's the way that we will have the happiest and most meaningful life until we go to Heaven. As close as it gets to "Heaven on earth". :)

Aloha in Jesus :wave:
 
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stray bullet

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If I might suggest, perhaps sometime take time to pray again. What I would do if in this position is tell God that I want to know Him again, what faith meant to me and what my faith will do to others. Most importantly, I'd just ask to be able to have a strong faith in Him again and ask to be able to do away with whatever caused me to leave in the first place.
 
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Followers4christ

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Dear Thebrent: Here are some scriptures for you to read and Remember that Jesus loves you and all you have to do is accept Him as your savior and you will be Saved. Welcome Christian Forums .God Bless :)

Romans 10:9"That if you confess with your mouth Jesus is lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead you will be saved.By the way

John 3:16"For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only son,that Whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world,but to save the world through him."

Acts 2:21"And everyone who calls on the name of the lord will be saved."

John 5:24"I tell you the truth ,whoever hears my word and believes Him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned he has crossed over from death to life."

Joshua 1:8"Do not let this Book of the law depart from your mouth,meditate on it day and night,so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.Then you will be prosperous and successful."
 
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PetraFan007

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Yo brother!

Welcome to true Christianity! Walk by faith not my sight! When all your feelings say no, you know that because of the truth of the Word of God and the words spoken by Jesus that you are SAVED no matter WHAT your feelings tell you. God will never forsake you.
 
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