My struggle with a past choice

[frankburton01]

Hi everyone, i just wanted to talk about my experience of what happened in my life which really destroyed my happiness . I was born with a facial birthmark on my cheek,and i always been a really beautiful guy despite the brownish birthmark.

Once i got into my mid teenage, i started being complexed of that borthmark for numerous of reasons like: i was pretty noticeable; people would notice my face and birthmark from far; i also thought it was restraining me from being beautiful for girls - actually girls didnt really flirted with me but were mostly taking me as a friend; and such

So one day i got a consultation with a surgeon, as they told me the only way for
Removal was by surgery. At that time i wouldnt wonder how this can affect a life. So i got it removed. And was left with a scar.

My recovery problem is that i dont feel worthy of God when i pray because of my face. Also because of this choice of surgery, i dont feel natural like hod created me so i have hard time to enjoy life maybe at its purest. Like recently
I lost the girl of my dreams; it just seems because of my surgery i had, part of me dont feel worthy of God for having done so to the body he created me with.

So often when i pray, i hide my face because i dont feel worthy to show myself this way to Him , and ive prayed numerous of time to Jesus so He heals my mind from that, because i wanna give back love to the girl that love me ( internet relationship ) , because i want to feel normal when i pray to Him ( without feeling oppressed by this thought) , and because i want to feel natural in all ways in my life.

It just seems really awesome to be 100% natural ad how God created you, as you can enjoy life as how He created you, but when a guy like me, live with a scarred face from a birthmark removal, it doesnt make me natural.

Im so sad, i need
Prayers for all of this. I know theres a woman that would love me for who i am; but the problem is that i already met er but lost her recently. She was an answer from God for my prayers and everything wouldve work between us if i wouldnt be insecure/ feel natural to receive and give love and affections.

It might be hard to understand; but imagine as if you had cosmetic surgeries
On your face, then how would you feel in front of God, in front of Jesus ?

I hope something can change, becausr i lost the most wonderful woman i ever met ....

Thank you guys and girls for helping me,

Im a broken man,

Frank

 

[raven1]

I don't think God would be mad about that. He understands our need to not feel out of place. Just pray. I am sure he will heal your scar.

 

[joey_downunder]

Hi there, I have an idea of what you're talking about because I have a scar (dent) on the right side of my forehead due to surgery. Thankfully being female I have longer hair to hide it, but I am still quite self-conscious about it.

Your unworthiness etc. was dealt with when Jesus died on the cross for you. He took all our ugliness, our pain, our sickness, our imperfectness.

From Isaiah chapter 53:

Who has believed what he has heard from us?
And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
For he grew up before him like a young plant,
and like a root out of dry ground;
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
and no beauty that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his wounds we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all. (Isaiah 53:1-6 ESV)

From 1 Peter 1:
And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one's deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. (1 Peter 1:17-19 ESV)


Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:14-16)

Honestly I think the relationship probably would have ended even if you had the looks of a model or most actors. Relationships end for many different reasons.

 

[frankburton01]

Thanks you; actually i think im a depressive person because that part of my face hardly shows my inner emotions like smile, and such. And it make it harder for me to meet people
And maintain relationship.

The best is to keep my head high and put my faith (fate) in Him , Jesus the savior the healer, the almighty One.

Thanks you friends

 

[frankburton01]

In resume, i have like facial impairment

 

[joey_downunder]

I am not sure what you mean - is that you trying to get more people responding to your issue (unfortunately for you it seems to be a fairly low traffic area) or do you actually have that on your job resume?

I see that you are fairly young and are hoping for healing from God? Honey that scar tissue is cosmetic only, it is not a medical condition.

I know you're hurting right now and that you imagine your life would be easier minus your disappointment about the outcome of that surgery. There is no guarantee that your life would be easier if you had perfect looks. Models and actors are usually the best looking people. If looks mean relationships then why are their divorce rates always so shocking? So what if they seem to start relationships easier than most people!

Very shallow people judge people on looks. If a facial scar *alone* is enough for a person to reject you then that person is a loser and you're best off without them in the first place. Don't care about what people *might* think about you; usually people care far too much about themselves to worry about other people in the first place anyway.

Focus on your own strengths, your ambitions, your goals, what you aim to achieve long-term. God has already given you some strengths e.g. I can tell that you are caring and sensitive from the entries you have contributed so far and you're pretty young. That is something some people sadly never achieve in their whole life because they only care about image and appearance. You're worth way more than what you *think* you look like.

 

[frankburton01]

Thank you, I guess it make me to be closer to God. A lot of grief had been happening lately, especially from a relation with a woman that wanna marry me ... Shes everything i had ever wanted, plus it seems so easy attainable since she wants a life with me but shes muslim... And I should beware , its probably a test from God.

Thought God knows how she affects my life...

Thanks Joey

 

[sidelia]

Were all beautiful, and i wish people would see beyond the looks, sadly there are people like that. But we are not living for others. but for our self and god. Im sure god knew your heart at the moment of your decision. You didn't do it so you can be a super model and feel better than others. Stop hiding your face because its your heart that matters and it seems yours is good and god honors that. And when one door closes it because god will open another one