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My son has a biting problem

Reformationist

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womanforchrist said:
Does anyone have any advice on what I can do or what will help my 19 month old son to quit biting. He bites a lot. He only bits other children, and now he is starting to bite himself.

Well, 19 months old is certainly old enough to understand "no." Does your son seem remorseful after he bites? Does he seem like he understands that he shouldn't do it, i.e., get's that deer in the headlight look when you catch him doing it? Does he try to hide it? If you can answer yes to any of these questions it is simply rebellion on your sons part.

How do you feel about corporal punishment?

God bless
 
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Momzilla

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With my older son, a loud "OUCH!" was enough to teach him not to bite... he was and is the sensitive type. You might try that next time your son bites you, and see how he reacts.

My younger son (now 16 months) is also an occasional biter, and yelping has absolutely no effect on him. What works best for him is immediately stopping the activity in which the biting occurred (usually roughousing with Daddy). This seems to give him the understanding that biting=no more fun time. He actually got the idea pretty quickly, and he very rarely bites any more.
 
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Tangnefedd

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A lot of kids bite, it is a phase that he will grow out of, if you don't fuss too much about it. Obviously if he bites other children you have to intervene and give him time out. If he bites himself ignore it! Don't make it a medical problem, it isn't! Talk to other mothers with older children, the chances are their children have gone through this stage and have grown out of it.
 
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HeatherJay

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I cannot offer a single bit of advice based on experience, since neither of my girl's were biters...or hitters, for that matter. Well, they smack each other occassionally, but never another child. Wow, what a lucky mom I am! Sorry, I know that's not a bit helpful.

Well, WHY does he bite? Because he's angry or because he's being playful? If it's because he angry, then I would encourage you to teach him that there are other, more appropriate ways to express that he's upset. Teach him words, or even sounds (if he's not talking yet) that can let others know how he's feeling.

If he's just being playful and gets overly excited (like Momzilla said), then just sit him down and end the playtime immediately.

Explain that biting hurts people and makes them very sad. If he's a sensitive child (like my angels) then just that explanation will be enough to send him into tears and get the message across that biting is not a good thing to do.

Good luck...just remember, this too shall pass. :)

Love, Heather
 
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Evening Mist

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He has no way to understand what it means to hurt someone else... he is too young to "put himself in someone else's shoes." KWIM? Little children are ego-centric -- unable to think in the abstract about what it feels like to be someone else.

What sort of situations does he bite in? It is common for preverbal children to bite in an effort to communicate. And then the biting usually stops when they learn to talk more. What might he be trying to communicate? Heather's question, "WHY?" is an imprtant question. If you can figure out why he bites, then you can work toward preventing it. Does he bite when he is overwhelmed? When he needs space from other children? When he is intimidated? How can you change the environment to make him feel more secure?

Personally, I'm not a big fan of playdates between young toddlers. He does need social time, but not nessessarily with other babies/toddlers. He might do better with older children. Or 1 child at a time.
 
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Reformationist

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HeatherJay said:
I cannot offer a single bit of advice based on experience, since neither of my girl's were biters...or hitters, for that matter. Well, they smack each other occassionally, but never another child. Wow, what a lucky mom I am! Sorry, I know that's not a bit helpful.

Well, WHY does he bite? Because he's angry or because he's being playful? If it's because he angry, then I would encourage you to teach him that there are other, more appropriate ways to express that he's upset. Teach him words, or even sounds (if he's not talking yet) that can let others know how he's feeling.

If he's just being playful and gets overly excited (like Momzilla said), then just sit him down and end the playtime immediately.

Explain that biting hurts people and makes them very sad. If he's a sensitive child (like my angels) then just that explanation will be enough to send him into tears and get the message across that biting is not a good thing to do.

Good luck...just remember, this too shall pass. :)

Love, Heather

Great advice Heather, as always. Very loving. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

God bless
 
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Crofter

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This child is very youing... it can be normal to do this and best not over reacted to... a firm no and remove from the situation at the most.


The most difficult thing when a toddler bites is people over react,.. it is the unforgivable sin! Some mums react even as though it was you the mum who bit their child! As a mum I always told the mums of these children that I would rather be the mum of the chid who got the bite because that is easier to deal with and made sure they knew I was just fine about this. All kids are different and being together they learn how to get on well in the end. :)
 
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tonya

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I AM A TEACHER AND WORKED IN A DAYCARE SETTING BEFORE GETTING MY DEGREE...MOST CHILDREN IN THIS AGE GROUP BITE..SO PLEASE DO NOT GET STRESSED ABOUT THAT..IT IS A PHASE...MY DAUGHTER DOES IT TO OTHER CHILDREN AT DAYCARE...BUT NOT AT HOME..SHE HAS ON OCCAION BITTEN HER DOLL AND WE TELL HER NO..DON'T BITE THE BABY...AT DC THEY TOLD HER NO AND SHE WAS IN TIME OUT AND THEN ANOTHER TIME SHE GOT A SPANKING...I THINK MY DAUGHTER DOES IT TO GET WHAT SHE WANTS AND PLUS SHE HAS THESE NEWFOUND TEETH....WOW SHE THINKS SO THIS MUST BE WHAT THESE PEARLY WHITES ARE FOR LOL..THE TIMES SHE HAS BITTEN AT DC IS WHEN A CHILD HAD SOMETHING SHE WANTED SO SHE BIT TO GET IT....
ON THE OTHER HAND MY FRIENDS DAUGHTER WAS A BAD BITER AND WOULD BOITE HER SO SHE WOULD BITE HER BACK...DIDN'T TAKE HER LONG TO UNDERSTAND THAT HEY THAT HURTS AND THE BITING STOPPED...I HAVE NOT RESORTED TO THAT MEASURE YET BUT MACY HAS NOT BIT ME YET.....
 
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