My Sexuality... Inner Turmoil and Confusion

[SomeAnonymousPerson]

if you are already committed then its sort of a sin to change your mind as well as a jerk thing to do

 

[citizenthom]

if you are already committed then its sort of a sin to change your mind as well as a jerk thing to do

Are you married to her? If not, then you are not "committed" to anything. Even an engagement can and should be broken if the person does not meet the Biblical standards for a mate.

Friend, seek out Christian counsel on this in person. Please. Read the Scriptures I pointed you toward. Pray hard on the structure and intent of Christian marriage and ask yourself: how can I marry someone who does not have Christ at the center of her life and expect to keep Christ at the center of mine?

 

[explodingboy]

if you are already committed then its sort of a sin to change your mind as well as a jerk thing to do

Wouldn't know about sin, but I'd agree on a jerk move.

Are you married to her? If not, then you are not "committed" to anything. Even an engagement can and should be broken if the person does not meet the Biblical standards for a mate.

I'd strongly dissagree, one is committed the moment one makes the committment to be with another. Marriage is just a public contract of a private contract made beforehand, neither should be broken lightly.

 

[Katarinea]

I understand the situation you're in -- for a long time, I was in love with a man who did not believe. He was kind, gentle, smart, loving, and everything I wanted. . .except for saved. I dated him for a time, but things didn't work out, and we broke out. Later, after I became stronger in the faith, he proposed to me, but I had to turn him down because he is unsaved. It was and is a cause of great sadness to me that I could not marry him when he asked.

But, I have a question to ask you: Are you certain, 100%, that marrying this woman is God's will for you? Have you prayed about it, and read the Bible, and sought counsel from other, stronger Christians? If there is any legitimate objection, such as that she is not a believer. . .much though it pains me to say it, it's not God's will -- or at least, not yet. Break off the relationship, if you decide to do so, and tell her that God comes first in your life. You can still love her, but it will have to be a friendly love, and the love of God is and can be shown through friendship. Love isn't a fuzzy feeling or butterflies in your stomach, it is a choice. Love is a conscious choice that you will, no matter what, do what is better for the one you have chosen to love. Could God have led you to this woman? Yes, but Satan may also have done so. And here's something for you to chew on: If this woman is so amazing when she does not know God as her savior, what could God do in her heart once she IS saved?

As for your fetish. . . you won't go to hell for it if you're saved. Is it odd? Yes, certainly. Is it immoral by the standards of others? Perhaps. The question you need to ask about this situation, though, is "Does doing this glorify God?" The answer you receive may not be the one you want; the same for masturbation. The act of masturbation is not a sin, but the lust that accompanies it is, and only inside the marriage relationship does lust glorify God.

I can't go over everything that you have talked about in this post, but please: if you are sincere about seeking God's will, message me. I will not, and will never, judge you based on what you have done. If I did such things to others I would have to do it to myself, and I find myself the chief of all sinners.

 

[SomeAnonymousPerson]

well it seems to me that since i am already committed (promised) to be with her and never anyone else and she has promised too that we are already married (not traditionally though as certainly in old testament days thats all marriage was). if i am committed i will not only break that promise but also be having an effectual divorce while also fueling her hatred towards christianity and hurting me emotionally. anyways the fact that God willingly performed that miracle means either he wanted me to be fooled into thinking it was his will or that it actually was his will. in either case if i cant use that mirscle from God to beleive it is his will what can i use, and its too late to turn back im already.committed. my parents who think my fetish is satanic and perverted and make me feel bad for having any sexuality at all support my decision to marry her and so does my pastor. anyways aside from that i beleive it is the right thing to do to stay with her.

 

[SomeAnonymousPerson]

love is also more complicated than just a choice @.@

 

[Anihilus]

Are you even saved? I can tell by your posts that you are most likely lost.

 

[SomeAnonymousPerson]

why do you say that?

 

[Katarinea]

love is also more complicated than just a choice @.@

Is it? I know that when I look at someone and make the choice in my mind to love them, things change. I know that the love I have for my almost-fiancee has been allowed to grow from platonic love, which was a choice I made. Love is complicated, yes, but you have to make the choice to love someone. . .and you have to keep making that choice.

 

[Anihilus]

why do you say that?

I say it because of some of the actions you said you participate in that saved people don't practice.

You touch and I assume you also view pornography (if I am wrong on this please correct me)

Before the lord saved me I was enslaved to these things, I had the same lusts that you talked about with the fury garbage and I was a bisexual.

"Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God." 1 Corinthians 6:9-10

"For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God." Ephesians 5:5

The scriptures say that even if you are sinning in your heart you will be held accountable for those sins. If you are a fornicator at heart, you will be guilty in the judgment. If you are immoral in your heart, you will be held accountable. Most of Christ charges against the Pharisees were not for their outward conduct, but their inward thoughts and motives.

If you think you can regularly view pornography and touch and continue in that lifestyle and be saved, you are deceiving yourself. Period.

I lived that way for years of my life and thought I was saved, only to find out I was not.

So my question to you is, why do you think you are saved if you look at your life and see that you are practicing these sins?

Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to be judgmental, but rather help you out because you appear to be stuck in some of the same sins I was in bondage to.

 

[SomeAnonymousPerson]

I dont like watching porn because of the way that it objectivizes women. I do like furries though and I am not bisexual but I just like furries. I'm not fornicating or adulterous

 

[SomeAnonymousPerson]

though I do think furry art is really cute #^^#. also what is effeminate? it seems to me that it means if youre a guy dont act like a girl so does that mean I cant be emotional or like the color pink? @.@

 

[Anihilus]

Here is a video that I highly recommend watching.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=583aZdjisS8

 

[explodingboy]

I dont like watching porn because of the way that it objectivizes women. I do like furries though and I am not bisexual but I just like furries. I'm not fornicating or adulterous

To be honest, furry porn is hardly less objectifying, it's allot more mix and match at times but the roots are still all the same. Biblically your still verging if not guilty of adultery, and all the same sins related to regular porn usage.

also what is effeminate? it seems to me that it means if youre a guy dont act like a girl so does that mean I cant be emotional or like the color pink? @.@

Depends if your after a general rule of societal thumb, or the merian webster definition.

If you really want to confuse folk you can always remind them that historicaly pink was the colour for boys, and blue was for girls.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Right now you sound very very confused and like you have some things you need to hash out with God. You had this image pounded into your head as a kid that God is simply looking for excuses to send people to hell, when in reality, God wanted so badly to save you and me that He turned His back on His own dying son while He was tortured and killed as a substitutionary punishment for what was supposed to be our and the rest of the world's sin punishment. That's a pretty drastic, heartbreaking step that was taken by God in order to keep people out of hell.

 

[Boidae]

2. God does not want you to marry a non-Christian. Period. Only He knows if your current interest is meant to be your wife; but as long as she is not a Christian, you should not be dating her, let alone considering marriage with her.

I actually take issue with the above statement. I do know what the Bible says about being unequally yoked. However, I also believe that God does put people together in a relationship in order to bring one of them to His Son.

My becoming a believer is because of my wife. She is a Christian and I wasn't, but by being with her I have since become a Christian.

So I do believe that it's on a case by case basis and should be prayed about.

 

[Forealzchola]

God created us to be attracted to the opposite sex and things of that gender's qualities and physical attributes..not fur animals or fur cartoons..this desire is not a natural Godly desire nor attraction

 

[rokcndy]

okay, i'm not going to pick on you about your non-christian girlfriend (not that i'm saying everyone is but it just seems like thats the most common topic right now), because it seems like your main question is about masturbation and expressing yourself sexually, and whether its morally right or wrong. i personally think that what's in your heart is what matters the most. i think that if you always strive to have a strong relationship with God, and you do as He says and believe in what He says and it makes you HAPPY, then this is what He intended for you. I think everyone is different and special, and He realizes this, but we are also the same in that there are a few aspects of human nature that everyone must follow in order to be happy. i know i sound a little vague right now though, haha xD hmm... well, I think the church's teachings against masturbation have some significance. I think it's all about temperance. Meaning that you should not deny yourself of your humanity and of your flesh... there should be a cultivation of your soul, and mind, and body. why else would we have been put on this earth? if you didn't enjoy some things every once in a while, like food, relaxation, sex, basic human functions.. then what's the point of having this body? arguing that "you must learn to overcome it" doesn't make sense to me, because why else would sexuality develop after a certain period of your life (you aren't born a sexual person?). I think that you can appreciate God's gifts to us more if you partake in these things sometimes, as long as it's respectful of other people and in MODERATION. Even in marriage, which seems strange to some people for me to say maybe because it isn't widely taught that even MARRIED people should probably not have sex all the time and neglect their other responsibilities. But it just makes more sense to me. Also, don't forget the Songs of Solomon, which is entirely dedicated to sexuality and marriage. Sexuality is a celebrated thing, and I think that as long as you are careful and respectful of others with it, it can be a blessing. It's not dirty at all, unless you make it that way. However, its also really personal, and I think a lot of people are a little too public with it sometimes. Nobody really likes to imagine certain people... well, I'll just be discrete and stop here xD So I think masturbation is fine, as long as you don't get addicted to it and it prohibits you from doing other things that could be more constructive, annddd as long as you make sure nobody catches you doing it xD
Those are just my thoughts though, but I hope it gave you a little clarification ^ ^

 

[Keachian]

well it seems to me that since i am already committed (promised) to be with her and never anyone else and she has promised too that we are already married (not traditionally though as certainly in old testament days thats all marriage was). if i am committed i will not only break that promise but also be having an effectual divorce while also fueling her hatred towards christianity and hurting me emotionally.

I actually think that you saying this is that you actually come under a different teaching by Paul that of 1 Corinthians 7:36-38, you have entered into a relationship and now because of something you've read or heard from someone, you feel as if the correct answer will be doing wrong to your girlfriend. I personally think that this would be the best move forward, however, I do urge you to seek first God and his guidance in your Life, fast meditate and pray earnestly to him, remove all distractions that may be in your life and just seek his face.

 

[rokcndy]

Are you even saved? I can tell by your posts that you are most likely lost.

How dare any of you question the soul of another person? Peter and Paul lived lives full of sin but they were still Jesus' Apostles and were still saved because Jesus saw potential in them and loved them. Only God can see the souls of others.