My search for God is making me ill

[matthew241006]

I have been searching for a few years. I've examined Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism.
Each has good things and confusing things.
Now I feel that I cannot believe one religion over another. It is making me ill, *very* ill.
I pray and ask for guidance, but I don't think my prayer has ever been answered.
Why is God doing this to me? Why is he failing to intervene in my descent into madness? I thought God was supposed to love me? I don't see that. I just see my mind being destroyed by confusion.
The inevitable conclusion I am coming to is that God does not love me. That I am destined for Hell. If so, then I might as well just get on with it and end my life as it doesn't really matter whether I keep searching or not.
Calvinists beleive that some are predestined for Heaven. I suppose the flipside is that some, like me, are predestined for hell no matter how hard we try.
How can I beleive in a God that has turned his back no me? Why God, why? Why have you forsaken me? Why did you fail to help me? I knocked, but the door was not open. I asked, but did not receive. WHY?
Perhaps God is really evil. He seems to be indifferent to my suffering. Perhaps he is enjoying my pain. He could end it so quickly. Lord I have begged you for help, but to no avail.

PLEASE HELP ME LORD

 

[pistachio]

How frustrating!

Calvinists beleive that some are predestined for Heaven. I suppose the flipside is that some, like me, are predestined for hell no matter how hard we tr

According to the Bible, He is not willing that any should perish. People choose to let go of gifts.

When we get into comparing religions, the process turns toward declaring which is most logical. One could spend a lifetime evaluating the logic of each religion, or the logic of God.

If it were too simple, we'd all be in agreement. And if everything made sense, we would cling so tightly to the truths we hold, that we would push God aside and worship our brilliant religion.

We also get caught up in what we consider socially acceptable. Each religion has accumulated its own reasons for taboo. We'd be embarrassed if connected with those who abuse the faith.

You have prayed. God has listened. He is willing to let you search, and not barrel in. Ask Him to be more involved with you personally. Lay aside the anxiety and analyses, just for a few days, and ask Him if you could know Him better without the religious clutter.

Lord, hear Matthew's prayers. You know how hard he has tried to get to You, to find the right path. You are merciful, and always there to hold Your hand out to us when we need help. Show Matt where You are... how to lower his resistance enough to grasp Your hand.

2Pe 3:9
But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a http://studylight.org/desk/?query=2pe+3&t=nas&st=1&new=1&l=en#R143thousand years like one day.

The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.

 

[BelindaP]

I what way has He failed to help you? Perhaps you need the prayer of others to help you. I know God is listening to you. He just may be biding His time until the situation is right.

You are now on your knees calling out to Him. He will surely listen! We will pray for you.

 

[matthew241006]

I what way has He failed to help you? Perhaps you need the prayer of others to help you. I know God is listening to you. He just may be biding His time until the situation is right.

You are now on your knees calling out to Him. He will surely listen! We will pray for you.

I'd say he has failed to help me in *every* way.
I pray for help in knowing truth from lies.
I pray for help in discerning whether Jesus really did die and was ressurected.
I pray for help in seeing if other religions are true or not.
I pray for help in understanding the bible.
And many other things.
I just can't hear or see any replies to my prayers.
Its not like I'm asking for a miracle. I *could* ask for my health problems to go away, but I am what I am and some day I'll die, we all will. I just want help from him in determinig my fate after death.
Maybe I have been so bad, said such awful things against god - and even knowing I shouldn't - maybe it's just too late for me.
Having a 'personality disorder' (I hate that term) doesn't help. How do I know if what I say is due to illness or not?
I really have said the most disgusting things about god and Jesus. I don't think theres anyway back for me.

 

[united4Peace]

Concentrate on your family and yourself instead of Religion for awhile....see what happens.
Goodluck

 

[BelindaP]

Keep on hanging around here for a while. I think a lot of your questions will get answered. Perhaps CF is God's answer to your prayer.

Which mental disorder do you have, if you don't mind my asking? CF has forums for a lot of them.

 

[matthew241006]

Concentrate on your family and yourself instead of Religion for awhile....see what happens.
Goodluck

That makes me nervous. I'd expect bad things. But, OK, I'll give it a try.

 

[matthew241006]

Keep on hanging around here for a while. I think a lot of your questions will get answered. Perhaps CF is God's answer to your prayer.

Which mental disorder do you have, if you don't mind my asking? CF has forums for a lot of them.

I just found the mental health forums.
I wouldn't want to say too much here in case it upsets people.

 

[BelindaP]

I'll keep an eye out for you. I have my own mental health issues. I think you will find the people here to be very understanding and acceptable overall.

 

[GhostKid]

I'd say he has failed to help me in *every* way.
I pray for help in knowing truth from lies.
I pray for help in discerning whether Jesus really did die and was ressurected.
I pray for help in seeing if other religions are true or not.
I pray for help in understanding the bible.
And many other things.
I just can't hear or see any replies to my prayers.
Its not like I'm asking for a miracle. I *could* ask for my health problems to go away, but I am what I am and some day I'll die, we all will. I just want help from him in determinig my fate after death.
Maybe I have been so bad, said such awful things against god - and even knowing I shouldn't - maybe it's just too late for me.
Having a 'personality disorder' (I hate that term) doesn't help. How do I know if what I say is due to illness or not?
I really have said the most disgusting things about god and Jesus. I don't think theres anyway back for me.

I was the most hardcore Atheist until about a month ago even then I was agnostic at best...I would pray durring my Atheist days and I would feel nothing or so I thought.... It started about a week ago....

I began to feel this feeling that I discarded as simply daily pangs but it persisted...it got worse and worse over the next few days and I felt something telling me to go to church, so I found a church and went.

After service I was overcome with a power that I knew was God and I knew then that Jesus Christ was my Lord and Savior.

What Im getting at here is, when the Lord feels your heart is on the right path and you are searching in the right direction He will illuimate the path. I suggest you see a pastor if you dont come to illumination and you really want it maybe that will help.

Your in my wishes and Prayers.

Hey Belinda I made my prefession of Faith with my pastor today and Im making it public at service on Sunday and we're setting a baptismal service so wish me luck

 

[FallingWaters]

I have been searching for a few years. I've examined Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism.
Each has good things and confusing things.
Now I feel that I cannot believe one religion over another. It is making me ill, *very* ill.
I pray and ask for guidance, but I don't think my prayer has ever been answered.
Why is God doing this to me? Why is he failing to intervene in my descent into madness? I thought God was supposed to love me? I don't see that. I just see my mind being destroyed by confusion.
The inevitable conclusion I am coming to is that God does not love me. That I am destined for Hell. If so, then I might as well just get on with it and end my life as it doesn't really matter whether I keep searching or not.
Calvinists beleive that some are predestined for Heaven. I suppose the flipside is that some, like me, are predestined for hell no matter how hard we try.
How can I beleive in a God that has turned his back no me? Why God, why? Why have you forsaken me? Why did you fail to help me? I knocked, but the door was not open. I asked, but did not receive. WHY?
Perhaps God is really evil. He seems to be indifferent to my suffering. Perhaps he is enjoying my pain. He could end it so quickly. Lord I have begged you for help, but to no avail.

PLEASE HELP ME LORD

...whosoever believes in Him will not persih... don't forget that

I never did agree with that view of predestination. It just doesn't sound like God. That's another one of those products of people who think too deeply. The kingdom of God is available to those who come to Jesus as humble as a little child. It's not rocket science.

The reason you're confused is because you've studied all those different religions and you're trying to logically make sense of them. Well, all of them make logical sense to somebody- that's why it's a religion. The Bible says that God is not the author of confusion, but of peace. [1 Cor. 14:33]

When bank tellers learn how to identify counterfeit money, they don't study counterfeit money; they study the real money. They know the real thing so well, that when a counterfeit comes by, they know something is wrong right away.

I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Bible is true, and Jesus was God here on earth. I promise if you read some books that encourage your faith in that direction, you will not be disappointed.

Go to the Christian Apologetics section of your library or bookstore and thumb through the books and pick out a couple you think you can relate to.

Josh McDowell has some stuff that's easy to understand.
Lee Strobel is a little deeper.
Dr. D. James Kennedy's Why I Believe is great, too.

 

[BelindaP]

You don't need luck any more. You've got God. Blessings to you!

 

[GhostKid]

As soon as I get it back Im reading Mere Christianity by CS Lewis, I bought awhile ago I'll tell you how it is.

 

[matthew241006]

As soon as I get it back Im reading Mere Christianity by CS Lewis, I bought awhile ago I'll tell you how it is.

I'm on my second reading of Mere Christianity. Very interesting book.
I also found Spurgeons 'All of Grace' on an audiobook site (I'm the worlds laziest when it comes to reading). That sounds very interesting as well.
Of course I *should* be reading _the_ book. The Bible.
I think last time I drifted off in Leviticus then fast forwarded to the NT and read it all. I must read it again (and again, etc).
But I dont feel quite as desperate today. I think being here helps. Good company has a habit off wearing of on me. It kind of keeps me focused.
Thanks everyone.

 

[BelindaP]

Leviticus does have a way of making you nod off. I would suggest that you read Genesis and Exodus. Then skip to Joshua and pick up there.

Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy are useful, but they are not the most stimulating reading for the new believer.

 

[français]

mathew, i know how you feel.. i myself have studied religions for several months, and seem to not be able to find the perfect one!

i would encourage you to check out the baha'i religion.. it makes lots of sense. it ansers a lot of questions.

otherwise, you can always believe what you want.. like although i am a messianic jewish catholic lol, i may be more deist then anything.. just keep searching.. i know it's hard not to know which religion is right.. i myself have gone through this problem.. "if i'm crhsitian, but it's not right, i will go to hell" or "if i convert to this religion and christianity is right, i will not go to heaven." those are things i often thought of.. however, besides yours truely christianity lol, most other religions seem to be very friendly of each other.. even then, christianity doesn't say the jews will go to hell.. and at that time there were no muslims and such.. so i personally think that if we believe in one God, and do good, we will go to heaven.. just read the religious books.. they seem to be almost identical, just different wording lol

good luck, and pm me if you ever want to talk about religion.

 

[FallingWaters]

Christianity is the only True "religion". All the others are deceptions of the enemy.

Read books from the Christian Apologetics section of your library or bookstore.

 

[matthew241006]

Christianity is the only True "religion". All the others are deceptions of the enemy.

Read books from the Christian Apologetics section of your library or bookstore.

Oh dear
I'm sure Muslims would disagree with you.
I understand you posting that, but I don't find it very helpful.
Isn't the whole 'one true religion, all the rest are false' state of mind something that has caused untold suffering and wars throughout the ages?
And even if Christianity is the only true religion, what about the divisions within it? How long before we get on to the whole 'Catholic = true, Protestant = false' and vica-versa debacle?
And who, or what, is the 'enemy'? The Devil I presume. And that carries the implication that Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, etc are all devil worshippers, does it not?
So much for tolerance, eh?
Perhaps you can see why I gave this thread the title " My search for God is making me ill".

 

[matthew241006]

mathew, i know how you feel.. i myself have studied religions for several months, and seem to not be able to find the perfect one!

i would encourage you to check out the baha'i religion.. it makes lots of sense. it ansers a lot of questions.

otherwise, you can always believe what you want.. like although i am a messianic jewish catholic lol, i may be more deist then anything.. just keep searching.. i know it's hard not to know which religion is right.. i myself have gone through this problem.. "if i'm crhsitian, but it's not right, i will go to hell" or "if i convert to this religion and christianity is right, i will not go to heaven." those are things i often thought of.. however, besides yours truely christianity lol, most other religions seem to be very friendly of each other.. even then, christianity doesn't say the jews will go to hell.. and at that time there were no muslims and such.. so i personally think that if we believe in one God, and do good, we will go to heaven.. just read the religious books.. they seem to be almost identical, just different wording lol

good luck, and pm me if you ever want to talk about religion.

From what little I know about the Baha'a faith its an offshoot from Islam, right?
Now that sets a few alarm bells ringing becasue I thought that, according to the Koran, that Muhammed (pbuh) was Gods final messanger. In which case what basis is there for anyone to startup a new religion? Isn't this the same problem the Ahmadiyya movement has?
(I'm cautious that this is, perhaps, going a bit offtopic)

 

[Sojourner<><]

I've been here before. In your condition, you do not need to be listening to hardline calvinists unless they believe in the message of God's love. Nobody can wrap their minds around sovereignty issues anyways.

In my own opinion, I think you should back off from the search a bit if it is driving you mad. Pray, of course, and let God answer in His own way. He may be answering you but you could be too wrapped up in something else to see or hear it. You could do things like ask for signs for confirmation or what not, but don't let your imagination get ahold of you. Try to keep level as best as you can.

He does answer by the way