Hallo,
Ik was searching for freedom.
I never could find freedom.
My desire to speak up my mind and be allowed to do that was big.
And I searched a place to do that.
This was most important for me in my whole life.
And I did not see it as normal if that was not allowed.
I also could not see God in this or His will that people could never speak up their mind about anything and to life in silence their whole etire life what to me looked as to life an very unhuman life. Yet my desire to be with God was as nothing else and big.
The world could offer me everything else but that could not make me happy if that mean I would not have God and no connection with God with being constantly busy doing things what only destract the attention away from God so what also made me each more unhappier. I had to find a way back. I believe in honesty. Also that is the way until I came on the cross road where it seems as if that was my mistake. To be honest in my life my whole life while I should have been clever as Jesus said be clever as a snake but soft and gentle as a dove.
I for a second was confused. Was my being good the cause of things going wrong in my life. Did I make wrong choices I allways believed in so well?
I was confussed and disopointed my way I choose to go in life since I was young seem afterall to be the wrong choise.
Yet all I know was I miss God and wanted to be with God and nothing else in life. I was not prepared of the hate you against you if you choose that God is for you your life.
It seems if nobody believes it or can believe someone choose to be with God.
I never felt the urge even to prove Gods existings, because it is a part of myself and comes out of my self and my own desire and it is opposite I do not understand others who do not like to be with God or never pray to God.
I life alone and searched a place where I could be myself and prayed to God to bring me to such place where I can be myself among other people.
Connie
Ik was searching for freedom.
I never could find freedom.
My desire to speak up my mind and be allowed to do that was big.
And I searched a place to do that.
This was most important for me in my whole life.
And I did not see it as normal if that was not allowed.
I also could not see God in this or His will that people could never speak up their mind about anything and to life in silence their whole etire life what to me looked as to life an very unhuman life. Yet my desire to be with God was as nothing else and big.
The world could offer me everything else but that could not make me happy if that mean I would not have God and no connection with God with being constantly busy doing things what only destract the attention away from God so what also made me each more unhappier. I had to find a way back. I believe in honesty. Also that is the way until I came on the cross road where it seems as if that was my mistake. To be honest in my life my whole life while I should have been clever as Jesus said be clever as a snake but soft and gentle as a dove.
I for a second was confused. Was my being good the cause of things going wrong in my life. Did I make wrong choices I allways believed in so well?
I was confussed and disopointed my way I choose to go in life since I was young seem afterall to be the wrong choise.
Yet all I know was I miss God and wanted to be with God and nothing else in life. I was not prepared of the hate you against you if you choose that God is for you your life.
It seems if nobody believes it or can believe someone choose to be with God.
I never felt the urge even to prove Gods existings, because it is a part of myself and comes out of my self and my own desire and it is opposite I do not understand others who do not like to be with God or never pray to God.
I life alone and searched a place where I could be myself and prayed to God to bring me to such place where I can be myself among other people.
Connie
