My partner cheated on me

[Jade Rider]

Hello, so I have been seeing this guy for about 7 months, previously we used to be really big players and he was a really big player before we started seeing each other, but i asked for 3 conformations from God to show me if this guy was the man he wanted me to marry and yes I did see the 3 conformations i asked for!! Recently I just saw on his instagram that he had messaged this girl flirting with her, he was very honest when i asked him and i admitted what he had did and was extremely guilty and says now that he will change and that this will never happen again. I believe him and i know that this man is the man God wants to me to marry but right now even though i love him so much its hard for me to trust him, but i trust that God will help him become a changed man. Do you think a relationship can rebuild trust once it has being broken?? Any advice would be great thank you

 

[Call me Nic]

Hello, so I have been seeing this guy for about 7 months, previously we used to be really big players and he was a really big player before we started seeing each other, but i asked for 3 conformations from God to show me if this guy was the man he wanted me to marry and yes I did see the 3 conformations i asked for!! Recently I just saw on his instagram that he had messaged this girl flirting with her, he was very honest when i asked him and i admitted what he had did and was extremely guilty and says now that he will change and that this will never happen again. I believe him and i know that this man is the man God wants to me to marry but right now even though i love him so much its hard for me to trust him, but i trust that God will help him become a changed man. Do you think a relationship can rebuild trust once it has being broken?? Any advice would be great thank you

Are you sure that God isn’t using his actions to show you that he’s not the man for you? An evil and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign.

 

[Jade Rider]

Are you sure that God isn’t using his actions to show you that he’s not the man for you? An evil and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign.

I really do believe he is the man God wants me to marry. we really help each other grow in our faith and love for him. God showed me the signs in February and he sent those messages to that girl in January. He really is going to change but if anything like this ever happens again then I will break up with him but I honestly think I should give him another chance and ask for God to help me be patient and understanding towards him.

 

[Apologetic_Warrior]

Seven months in? You playing with fire if you hoping he will change. Asking for signs from God isn't the best approach, the desires of your heart and mind will guide your interpretation of those signs in ways you desire. Instead, read in the Scriptures about the grounds for divorce. Cheating is explicitly stated as a grounds. It's different when people have been married for many years before one partner is found to be cheating, the relationship is more complicated, and often involves children. But in your shoes? I wouldn't think twice about walking away from a partner if they betrayed me in that manner. Respect yourself more, you deserve better.

 

[Pavel Mosko]

Hello, so I have been seeing this guy for about 7 months, previously we used to be really big players and he was a really big player before we started seeing each other, but i asked for 3 conformations from God to show me if this guy was the man he wanted me to marry and yes I did see the 3 conformations i asked for!! Recently I just saw on his instagram that he had messaged this girl flirting with her, he was very honest when i asked him and i admitted what he had did and was extremely guilty and says now that he will change and that this will never happen again. I believe him and i know that this man is the man God wants to me to marry but right now even though i love him so much its hard for me to trust him, but i trust that God will help him become a changed man. Do you think a relationship can rebuild trust once it has being broken?? Any advice would be great thank you

I guess you could try putting him on some kind of probation, but I think that is somewhat questionable. A classic mistake women make is thinking "they can change a man", or adopting a man as a fixer-upper.


Also the three signs from God thing may also be something to watch for. There was a classic Ken Hagin story about people who use to "put out a fleece", kind of like that one OT story. They basically asked in prayer for a sign, as a confirmation, and they got it. But low and behold, they later realized this was a mistake the thing in question was bad, and most likely it was Satan that granted them the sign.

In some ways, I think that could be the case with you. You aren't sure of things so you are asking for advice etc. but that could be that you are really not a peace on the matter. My advice is don't look at confirmations, look for the peace of God, look for the "Still Small Voice". But also don't be hasty in making decisions as far as breaking up, or marrying this guy. I believe you will be able to discern the right path in time, and time will also test the sincerity of this guy, if he truly is from God he can wait for you!

 

[GraceTruthLove]

One important question that needs to be asked is...what were these signs? Were these signs based on God's Word, or something else? A question like this you can take directly to God's throne room and be confident in His direct answer. Hebrews 4:16. You don't have to rely on signs. I will echo Pavel Mosko's bolded point above:

don't look at confirmations, look for the peace of God, look for the "Still Small Voice". But also don't be hasty in making decisions as far as breaking up, or marrying this guy. I believe you will be able to discern the right path in time

One thing you might also consider is seeking the advice of a mature Christian whom you trust - especially one that knows you and the young man in question (if there is someone like that). Someone who knows you and your situation personally will be able to give more qualified advice.

Lastly, whatever you decide, please be careful. Remember God is your first Love - the one Love Who will never lie to you or cheat on you. Your future is precious, just as you are, and that bears serious consideration when it comes to including this man in your life or not.

 

[SouthernBlessedOne]

Seek a relationship built upon a firm foundation of faith in Jesus. Both of you need to pray and put Jesus first. Relationships that last are tough these days, but they are possible with Him.

 

[Romans 8]

Rather than asking God to show you 3 signs, I think you should be asking the elders of your church to pray to God to show them 3 signs. Because you are probably going to see 300 signs for this guy before the days end.

At this point I would ask your church pastor or one of the elders you trust to pray for signs on whether you continue with this relationship or not.

 

[redleghunter]

Hello, so I have been seeing this guy for about 7 months, previously we used to be really big players and he was a really big player before we started seeing each other, but i asked for 3 conformations from God to show me if this guy was the man he wanted me to marry and yes I did see the 3 conformations i asked for!! Recently I just saw on his instagram that he had messaged this girl flirting with her, he was very honest when i asked him and i admitted what he had did and was extremely guilty and says now that he will change and that this will never happen again. I believe him and i know that this man is the man God wants to me to marry but right now even though i love him so much its hard for me to trust him, but i trust that God will help him become a changed man. Do you think a relationship can rebuild trust once it has being broken?? Any advice would be great thank you

What advice has your pastor or ministry team at church provided? You did share this with them?

 

[Roldan Sasan]

Hello, so I have been seeing this guy for about 7 months, previously we used to be really big players and he was a really big player before we started seeing each other, but i asked for 3 conformations from God to show me if this guy was the man he wanted me to marry and yes I did see the 3 conformations i asked for!! Recently I just saw on his instagram that he had messaged this girl flirting with her, he was very honest when i asked him and i admitted what he had did and was extremely guilty and says now that he will change and that this will never happen again. I believe him and i know that this man is the man God wants to me to marry but right now even though i love him so much its hard for me to trust him, but i trust that God will help him become a changed man. Do you think a relationship can rebuild trust once it has being broken?? Any advice would be great thank you

 

[Roldan Sasan]

Hi Jade,

I would say yes you can rebuild your trust to that man. You know, the only thing that makes your relationship being restored is grace from God. You need to build your altar to God, pray the man that you wanted to marry because he needs your prayer. He needs the power of protection. Pertaining to your trust in him, it could be restored also when you will forgive him and lift him up to God. Remember, forgiveness is the victory of all. See what Jesus did in us He forgives us. In forgiveness there is power of freedom, freedom of depression, oppression, and freedom in the past. Somehow there is one thing I'd like to say also, since you were not yet tied up in marriage, there are some reason that only God knows, He allowed this to happen because according to His plan.

 

[ripple the car]

Asking for signs can be a bad idea. We're not all Gideon, neither would God have all of us understand His Will through signs. I have "seen" wonderful, encouraging signs, became sure I knew God's Will, only to have everything fall apart, and me left standing there wondering what the heck happened. It can be tricky. It would be better for you to talk to your priest, pastor, or elders about this, have him pray for you, and seek God's Will with others' help.

 

[Petros2015]

i asked for 3 conformations from God to show me if this guy was the man he wanted me to marry and yes I did see the 3 conformations i asked for!!

What were the confirmations you saw? My ex-wife had a confirmation that she was supposed to marry me. Didn't work out so well.

 

[RDKirk]

Hello, so I have been seeing this guy for about 7 months, previously we used to be really big players and he was a really big player before we started seeing each other, but i asked for 3 conformations from God to show me if this guy was the man he wanted me to marry and yes I did see the 3 conformations i asked for!! Recently I just saw on his instagram that he had messaged this girl flirting with her, he was very honest when i asked him and i admitted what he had did and was extremely guilty and says now that he will change and that this will never happen again. I believe him and i know that this man is the man God wants to me to marry but right now even though i love him so much its hard for me to trust him, but i trust that God will help him become a changed man. Do you think a relationship can rebuild trust once it has being broken?? Any advice would be great thank you

I may have missed it, but I didn't see anything here regarding his relationship with Jesus.

You want a man Jesus has already changed.

 

[paul1149]

Do you think a relationship can rebuild trust once it has being broken??

Definitely possible, but it takes mutual commitment and work. God can use even bad things to produce good, but it is necessary that you take it one step at a time. You have the vision, but you need confirmations along the way rather than diving in head-first. That would put too much pressure on the guy, and perhaps take away the incentive to change.

1Thess 5.22-ff deals with the prophetic - don't despise prophecy, but test it, prove it, then hold fast to what is true. Take it slow, sister. Proverbs says a wise man makes his steps secure. Also consider the Psalm that says that unless the Lord build the house, the laborers labor in vain.

 

[eleos1954]

Hello, so I have been seeing this guy for about 7 months, previously we used to be really big players and he was a really big player before we started seeing each other, but i asked for 3 conformations from God to show me if this guy was the man he wanted me to marry and yes I did see the 3 conformations i asked for!! Recently I just saw on his instagram that he had messaged this girl flirting with her, he was very honest when i asked him and i admitted what he had did and was extremely guilty and says now that he will change and that this will never happen again. I believe him and i know that this man is the man God wants to me to marry but right now even though i love him so much its hard for me to trust him, but i trust that God will help him become a changed man. Do you think a relationship can rebuild trust once it has being broken?? Any advice would be great thank you

"its hard for me to trust him" ... until or if you have absolutely 100% forgiven him without any reservations whatsoever getting married is not a good idea.

When someone violates trust ... the violated ... may forgive ... but the one violated never forgets. He may change ... he may not .... how many times are you willing to forgive, knowing you will not forget?

"Do you think a relationship can rebuild trust once it has being broken?"

Yes ... after forgiving ... one can move forward (it takes some time) ... knowing the trust has been broken ... but just doesn't allow to be consumed with doubt (mistrust) of the previous trust being broken.

It's not so much about "will he change" .... more so ... do you love him enough if he doesn't?

Give it a lot more time before marrying, so more light can be received by both of you one way or the other.

God Bless.

 

[Andrew77]

Hello, so I have been seeing this guy for about 7 months, previously we used to be really big players and he was a really big player before we started seeing each other, but i asked for 3 conformations from God to show me if this guy was the man he wanted me to marry and yes I did see the 3 conformations i asked for!! Recently I just saw on his instagram that he had messaged this girl flirting with her, he was very honest when i asked him and i admitted what he had did and was extremely guilty and says now that he will change and that this will never happen again. I believe him and i know that this man is the man God wants to me to marry but right now even though i love him so much its hard for me to trust him, but i trust that God will help him become a changed man. Do you think a relationship can rebuild trust once it has being broken?? Any advice would be great thank you

Based on what you said, it is clear that this man has a pattern of behavior prior to your relationship.

Before I would ever agree to marry such a man, I would want to know that this un-godly pattern of behavior is broken.

He just proved to you conclusively, that he has not broken this pattern of behavior.

It sounds to me like these signs that G-d wanted you to marry this man, was more you seeing what you wanted to see. Not what was really there.

My advice:

Dump him. Move on. You get with this guy, he's going to keep doing what he has learned to do, and you will be devastated and miserable.

That's my advice. This guy is not a good man, addicted to flirting with random women. He's going to keep doing it. The only question is if you want to be destroyed in the process. You can't control him, only you. So decide how much pain you want to endure.

 

[SleepingAtLast]

I would really caution anyone against overspiritualizing things by saying that God wants them to marry someone. I can tell you almost for certain that in most cases a person is inserting their own emotional bias into the situation so that God seems to give them the answer that they are looking for. All this does is muck things up by making it seem like you are being disobedient if you leave him. It adds an unnecessary layer of complication. I have been in a relationship where I was cheated on, and I chose to stay, and the cheating continued. I would implore you to have enough self-respect to walk away if that is what you and those that love you especially think would be the best thing for you. If you do decide to stay, let it be of your own choice and not as though you are obeying a command of God that may or may not actually be authentic. God would not want you to stay in a relationship that hurts you. Along with that, do not preemptively engage yourself to this guy while you are dating, especially after what he has done. I would loosen your grip on this relationship a lot. You said yourself that he was a player before you started dating. Chances are that now that he has crossed the line of stepping out on you, he will do it again.

 

[well hey]

Please go into detail about the '3 signs' even if its personal for you. You need some advice on that and a discerning spirit

 

[Knee V]

All things being equal, if you see red flags and you're not married yet, get the heck out of Dodge!