I asked God to take away my pride,
And God said "No".
He said it was not Him to take away,
But for me to give up.
I asked God to make my suffering child whole,
And God said "No".
He said her spirit is whole,
Her body is only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience,
And God said "No".
He said that patience is a by-product of tribulation,
It isn't granted; it's earned.
I asked God to give me happiness,
And God said, "No".
He said He gives blessings,
Happiness is up to me.
I asked God to spare me pain.
And God said, "No".
He said suffering draws you apart from worldly cares,
And brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow,
And God said "No".
He said I must grow on my own,
But He will prune me to make me fruitful.
I asked God if He loved me,
And God said "Yes".
He gave me His only beloved son who died for me,
And I will be in heaven someday because I believe.
I asked God to help me love others,
As much as He loves me,
And God said:
"Ah, finally you have the idea."
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So, you believe that God hates you? How presumptuous. You haven't even gotten to know who He is, yet you assume, because your own desires aren't satisfied, that He hates you.
Truth be known, I see this over and over and over again. You are not the only who who's enduring suffering. Don't seek to cast blame on God.
Have you taken the time to count your blessings? You're in good health. You have a roof over your head, a keyboard at your fingertips, a monitor in front of you, a running computer, people who care for your salvation and well-being, yet your life is bad? Why? Because you aren't able to marry at age 16?
You should tack that on your list of blessings. Marriage is a bind for life, and if you aren't even content with your life yet, you don't need to be considering marriage.
Did the nuns who vowed to live in poverty and service forsake God? No. It drew them closer to Him.
Did the man who left behind a life of riches to follow Jesus do so in vain? No. He found peace outside of earthly desires.
God doesn't hate you. How do I know? He is Almighty - our scornful words can't move Him to wrath. He is longsuffering and patient, willing that you would come to repentance and embrace Him.
Because when you seek Him first, all else falls into place.
"Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial
which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified."
"My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers
temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith
worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work,
that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing."
Be patient, be still, and know God. Seek Him rather than running from Him. You assume that because you aren't getting what isn't intended, you are hated. All I hear from that is a cry for help.
I know that you're hurting inside, but you are certainly not hopeless. Once you realize that the world will let you down again and again, and that it has nothing to offer you, I pray that you will turn to what Christ has to offer instead. I did.
Dust returns to dust, and all in this world is dust. Focus on that which is eternal - this is all just a glimpse; a determining factor which foretells our eternity.
I know where you're coming from when you say that you don't like God's plan right now. Even some of the greatest saints of history have felt that way a time or two, so don't let that factor discourage you.
Marriage isn't everything. Don't buy into what the media, or this world itself, sells you. The Bible is what has everything. We can't see the road we're on, but God can - if you would submit to His will, the burden becomes much lighter to carry.
About praying...
God knows our hearts, our desires, and our needs. We aren't consulting with some genie in a lamp, but with God. Our faiths wouldn't be strong if we had everything we asked for - instead, we believe in faith that God will provide us with what we need to get by.
Because regardless of your walk in Christ, there will come times of doubt, worry, and stress. Were that not true, we wouldn't have been given verses concerning such things, as the ones I provided above.
If there would have never been tears during our stay here, why would God have said that He will wipe the tears from our eyes? Why would He have spoken of trials and tribulations if they weren't going to be a problem?
They are, and they will continue to be... but there is one thing I came to realize through my own personal walk: The less interest we have in this world and what it has to offer, the more interest we have in God and what He has to offer. Amen.
My PM box is always open. Christ's Peace, and my prayers are with you.