my name is hotsauce

hello everyone,
about 14.5 months without beer. not too long before i get another chip!

merry christmas to all.

my life keeps getting better all the time, and im looking forward to good things and business picking up too.

ok guys, havent been here in a bit, trying to stay busy. still broke, living at home and fighting depression.

but in SOBER!!

got me an 18 month chip in the middle of march, so im 18.75 months dry!

LOL, i had to count that extra week!

im happy at my home group and now visit other groups in the area, they are all over.

i have no desire to put alcohol in my body, just to be numb. so i just deal with it till i can get to sleep.




EDIT: I got my 4000$ back from refilling 2005 taxes!!
(well, the IRS turned it loose but in Texas, the child support people intercept and spike it) LOL so it was a huge victory and it only took a year to complete. Im glad my money is in my daughters mothers pocket instead of theirs.

i think very clearly now. and my memory seems to be getting better.

21 month update:

so here i am yall!! still sober.

I am having financial problems, barley holding on but the Lord still provides.

at least thats the biggest problem in my life right now.

good things I have to be grateful for.

God is in my life
i have good family
i have good health
I have a good christian woman in my life.


i am so happy i am at such a good place in my life. last night i spoke with someone on the phone and i was so grateful that i could be sober and share my life and my thoughts with someone who needed to hear it. tonight i finally got a friend to go to aa who desperately needs it. i was talking to him about 23 months ago about this , so i guess it took that long to get him in there, i think he is almost ready to make the commitment to stop. ( notice i have only 21 months of sobriety) plus i may be able to get him a job tomorrow, we are in the same trade.
i know that god has plans for me and i give myself to his will.



i have also met someone who is a good christian woman. i pray everyday that if she is the one that god sent me, that our relationship be blessed and our life together is part of gods plan.

i still feel her soul when we are together, its hard to explain.


so thats my update yall. i hope to keep updating this thread. maybe these things can help someone who is where i was and know that things can always get better. my life has gotten so much better since i turned my back on alcohol.
In AA theres a saying that works and i will tell you.......

KEEP COMING BACK!

after re-reading this entire thread i feel i neccessary to point out that the relationship mentioned last year and the relationship i just mentioned are not the same.

i know thats more of a personal item, but it just didnt sound right and i wanted to correct it.

that is all.

todays update,
so i been sober 22 months now.

ive had so many ups and downs i cant stand it anymore. i was in such a better place lately, no desire for alcohol what so ever, a great woman in my life, a christian woman. work has been picking up s i can catch up on bills.

the woman i love an respect so much turned mean on me today and said some very disprespectful and rude things to me today. i was surprised and shocked. didnt want to talk about things or anything. i believe she was being coached by someone else, mainly her 17 year old son. plus i beleive she has been seeing and or talking to someone else. she said some horrible things to me. making it worse, she did it through texting 5 minutes arter we talked and lined up a date to have a nice dinner and iron out our problems. she is always full of excuses and putting me off. she wanted to talk over the phone when i insisted we talk face to face. it mad her so mad that i was calling her out on all her crap.
this week she used me for money as she is almost unemployable due to her lack of motivation and ability to think clearly and cannot handle stress. i did do something that upset her, but she was not willing to deal with me about it after all the crap she pulls and i put up with.

for these 8 months we have been together, erveryone i talk to about her say the same thing, she is not worthy and i should move on. i have felt so in tune and in love with her, i can feel her soul it seems. so i have been upset adn torn. on one hand i am deeply hurt and sad that the woman i have given my all to and my heart just hurt me very bad. then on the other hand i feel ok since the drama and crap will be over plus the cheating aspect i think she is doing. not to mention her personal family drama that keeps affecting me.

whew, i im just a pile of nerves right now. i did talk to a good friend about this and i felt better to vent.

i did make it to 2 aa meetings today, but didnt gather much or talk to people about it. then i went to the movies by myself. thank god i had no desire to turn to alcohol, though i did want to feel numb and escape reality.

i am not in a good mood, so please pray for me and with me that i can keep going and move on.

thank you all for your support and prayer


hotsauce

hi folks, someone let me know if these updates get old. i will stop on request.

so i got my 2 year chip a couple of weeks ago !! WOOHOO!!

i have my sights set high for next year, really want to grow my company and have some ideas and plenty of motivation to do it.

im still talking to my friend about his drinking. yesterday he was horribly detoxing , again. but then had some weird skin condition that drove him up the wall, and to the store for a six pack. at least it wasnt to the liquor store for a bottle.

ive been going to celebrate recovery at my church a little bit. theres one guy there that i may be helpful too.

new guy in sunday school class that needs a lot of help and i will do my best but dont know if im strong enough to help him.

only a little over six months left on my probation!!!! weeeee, then i can get that breathalyzer out of my truck!! cant wait for that day to come.

i want to go on a trip somewhere out of town, anywhere, just to go, without a permission slip!

i am so grateful that god has been in my life and that i have been allowed to be a good man.

oh yeh, i have wanted to race my truck in the stadium during intermission at the monster truck show for years, kind of a dream. well, its on!! i made a call a couple of days ago and im in. its no big thing, only an intermission race, but its a huge thing for me. i never had enough clarity in my life to be able to set it up, and now i do. i can think clearly, set the goal ,make the phone call and move forward with it. a friend is helping me build a roll cage for my truck, and i need a helmet. already made the call to another friend to get me the pipe needed at a discount. it will be delivered next week.

wow, i keep thinking of more to share! ok so ive wanted to have my own hotsauce label for a few years. i have set in motion a task to do just that. i have requested an appointment with the person to make that happen. it will be a matter of cash to get things rolling i think..
if all goes well, i may be able to race my truck with my hotsauce label as a sponsor as well as my other company. that way i could travel, race, promote, and it would all be business expenses and earn more income in the process. one good thing leading to another instead of bad things.

god is so good

im a part of the singles class at church and thats a big thing for me.


thank you all for praying for my recovery and letting me ramble on.



hotsauce

hello all,
its the end of the year, figured i would post an update on me and my sobriety.

well im still joyously sober, 26.5 months into and feeling fine!!

work has been great, god has shown me i guess how to be good to people and it seems to make my phone ring a lot now. normally between thanksgiving and the end of february i have no work. this year my phone rings a lot with people asking me if i can install alarms for them, and how soon. (as opposed to me throwing bids around and looking for installs.)

at church i have become an almost regular at the weekly mens prayer breakfast. always attend the singles sunday school class and regular services. i volunteer for the church when they do the car care for elderly and single moms, and the home care for widows. think i may be volunteering for the media guys to run lights or set up for specials. have a lot of friends there now.

have a friend with issues and a court case, i go to court with him. he has come a long way with his recovery from his issues and his court case is looking good as well, he may not have to go away after all! i know he has god in his heart and in his life.

another friend has finally finally finally gotten to the point of turning away from alcohol. i had him talked to a while back for making comments about self destruction, they kept him a week and he wasnt happy with me. i mentioned to his mom about getting him into county health care so he can get medical issues checked. i have prayed for him so much. tried getting him into aa but he didnt like it. took him to celebrate recovery and his did like that. tuesday morning his mom checked him into a detox center and yesterday was admitted into a rehab hospital!! i am so happy for him to be at that point. this man has diabetes, liver disease and scerosis. docs already told him more drinking WILL KILL HIM. called me last night and asked me as his sponsor to bring him a 12 step book at hospital, he already has a big book there. i need to find one and take it.

wow

another friend had a dwi after i met him in aa. he ended up with 5 years felony probation. he was grateful i went to court with him those few times.
ran into his daughter last week, she went to rehab and now attends aa.

whew, its been a great year and next year is looking good already. i am so blessed and fortunate to be where i am at.

business plans look good and hope to be a good and successful year. im taking the steps to be more of a business owner and less of a techinian, something i should have done years ago but couldnt see it. now i see and think clearly.

thank you god.