contango
...and you shall live...
- Jul 9, 2010
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The OP, Godsentmyhusband, has already said that she needs to improve and is going to counseling to get better.
Why has the last several posts keep telling her about her nagging? Folks the main problem is not her nagging the main problem is that her husband is coping out. He has “picked up drinking, his wife begs him for sex and he makes excuses, he get jealous of his wife if someone compliments her, he thinks that he has a problem and will not go to the doctor, refuses to go to counselling, and gets mad at his wife when she is open and honest. Why keep telling her that she is the problem when she is doing something to correct her problem?
I am a man and I have been nagged but that does not make me start drinking, make excuse why I will not meet my wife’s needs, get jealous, get mad at my wife if she brings out in the open some issues that need to be faced, and refuse to get help when it is obvious there is a serious problem. By focusing on her nagging are you straining on a gnat and swallowing a camel?
This woman needs to be supported not keep telling her how she is failing when she is taking action to get better.
Probably because nagging behaviour just makes a bad situation worse.
If her husband is becoming a deadbeat it's not her fault at all, but if she resorts to nagging then she's becoming part of the problem rather than part of the solution.
Nobody is saying that being nagged made him start drinking, the point is that endless nagging won't get him to stop either. If he's turned to drink as an escape from something then nagging just gives him something else he wants to escape from.
It's also worth trying to figure out what is really a problem and what might not align with someone's preferences. If the guy is becoming a habitual drunkard that's a problem. If he's having an occasional beer then it needn't be a problem. If he's not even a Christian then nobody should be surprised if he's having an occasional beer - the only problem is if he's drinking and driving.
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