My marriage is falling apart :(

[livin4christ9203]

Well, here I am again.. My husband and I did so well for so long. And, earlier this week, we had a big fight.. and he left, he hasn't been home since except to get clothes and everything. he says he's not coming home and doesn't now when he will or if he wants to. I have been praying and praying and trying to lean on God. it's been very difficult. I'm also trying to stand for my marriage even though my husband doesn't act like he wants it anymore. It's just so hard.. seeing how 1 week ago we were fine, getting along.. and now here we are in this position. Any help or advice would be appreciated. I know the best t hing for me is to let him have his space.. and just work on me. It's just so hard to put aside the hurt and focus on anything else. I want to be able to stay inour house.. but I've been going to my moms.. because I can't stand it. I want to be able to stay there, sleep and eat again. I can't do anything.. but just sit there... because everything reminds me of him and amakes me cry.. even the things that make me laugh. A guy from work is trying to get ahold of him to talk to him... but hasn't been successful yet. I feel a bit stronger today, but especially when night time comes i get panicy and just feel desperate. I know I need to give it to God.. and let him work in me. If you have anything that can help me get through these days without bothering him or saying anything to him and making it appear to him that I'm not bothered by everything. Please pray that I can find strength in God to get me through this time better and pray that my husband softens his heart and wants to come home soon.. and that maybe that guy can get through to him.

Thanks!

 

[celica3]

I feel deeply for you in your situation. I have both been in a position almost like your husbands (wanting to bag the marriage) and am now in a position similar to yours (wanting my wife to not give up on it). I wish I could tell you how to get through this time because I am struggling just as much with it.

I've been deeply depressed and feeling helpless as she considers her place in this world and my marriage. I agree with you - it is just not easy to back off and let the marriage disintegrate. I've been trying to learn to meditate. It seems to help alot. I'm thinking of getting some books. I'm not talking about meditating on scripture. I'm talking about meditating on things that calm you, relax you, relieve you, make you happy. "Picture yourself on a boat on a river..." type of stuff.
Next thing I'm trying to remind myself of (not easy to do) is that my treasure is in heaven. God loans us a family to enjoy for a short time on this earth. Let's enjoy it to the fullest and be ready for whatever the next stage is. We must be strong and keep from overcrowding our loved-ones. God have mercy!!

 

[livin4christ9203]

Is your wife away from home like my husband is?

 

[PassionateOne]

this is happening to you all!
I have so much compassion...because I was once there (3 years ago).
I kicked my husband out for a few days and he took off his wedding ring and left it on the bathroom sink, before he left. (right then, deep down, I knew it was over) and I fell to my knees and cried and begged God to not let this happen. But, you know what? It was the hardest time of my life and I prayed for strength and I got thru it.
Whatever is 'meant' to happen....is going to happen. God knows what's right for us, even when we don't. If you are 'supposed' to be together you will.....if you're not, you won't.

I'll pray for strength for you all!

And you will get thru this.....I promise!

 

[celica3]

Is your wife away from home like my husband is?

Sorry for the late reply. I'm a no0bie and I'm not used to checking in on the forum. No - my wife doesn't travel - I work and she stays at home. Being in close quarters makes it difficult for an uptight guy like me to back off. I used to travel extensively and I'm sure that didn't help.
I blew it today once again. We went out to try to have some fun and I just couldn't help but end the evening by trying to dive into the relationship issues. Probably just took two giant steps backwards.
"Rushing wind blow through this temple, blowing out the dust within.... plant me by your living waters. Plant me deep so I can grow...." - Keith Green.

 

[OasisBuilder]

I feel for you.
I went through this.... twice!
Guess what, I have been happily married now for almost 11 years.
When I look back, I wonder how on Earth I got through those dark times.
I understand now.
We all have to live with the events of our past.
We build on the strength the events taught us.
All the mistakes and wrong turns had to be.... had to be... why?
I believe that it was part of the rich fabric of our life, and without it, we wouldn't be who we are.
Since visiting Sri Lanka often, I have learned that the mistakes of our past were actually meant to be.
We shouldn't try to resurect a dying or dead marriage, but simply learn from it and move on.
Japanese swords are the best in the world.... why?
Because they are put through the fire more times than any other.
Learn from the past, accept it, let it stay where it belongs... in the past, and move on.

 

[livin4christ9203]

He still isn't home.. i'm praying he will be tonight. I've left him alone since Saturday afternoon. he's officially been gone about a week. It's very very difficult. But I have a very loving church family that is wonderful. They really helped me yesterday.

 

[livin4christ9203]

well he didn't come home last night, but he promised me he would come home tonight and talk after work at 9 pm. Please pray that he keeps this promise and we are able to have a good talk and work some things out to settle them to where he is ready and willing to come home to stay.

 

[Mickey1953]

I feel much compassion for you and celica3....
You are supported by a church family which is wonderful, livin4christ9203...
But I will pray for you both livin4christ9203 and celica3...
I know this might be difficult and I do not know if you have considered it, but a good Chrisitian Counselour is wonderful...In our area we have a gentleman that wrote a book on marriage.... .... I know him, but, I am not familiar with the site - I don't know if you can contact him or not.
http://www.marriagedoneright.com/testimonials.htm
A sister in Christ
Mickey

 

[livin4christ9203]

thanks!

 

[Mickey1953]

This is a powerful book of scripture....
The writer is very insightful on what needs to change... it is just very good....
I was thinking of you while I was using this book with my morning devotions....
God Bless you
Mickey