I don't know if this belongs here. Moderaters feel free to move it if its in the wrong place.
So it's been a few years since I last posted here. Thanks to study, work and personal stuff I haven't really had much time but I'm so glad to be back
!
Now some of you may remember this thread:
http://www.christianforums.com/t7421674/
It's been just over three years since this happened. First thing I want to say is thanks for all your replies and prayers; it really helped in that time.
My family are doing quite well. A week before I turned 19 my Mum gave birth. Mum's pregnancy started a mere two months after we were kicked out so 2010 turned out to be a good year. My other sister is in a Christian high school and is faring well.
Late 2010 to late 2011 is not a time I'm proud of. I ended up almost every week going to pubs or parties and drank excessively. I dated a few guys in this time and ended up hurting one of them in the process.
It was after that break-up that I reached my lowest emotional point in years. I realised that I'd been spending a good part of that year trying to avoid processing how I felt about being kicked out of that church. As a lot of home truths kicked in ALL the emotions I tried escaping from for two years hit me all at once. For almost six months I had acute depression and at many points seriously considered taking my life. Thanks to God I came out the other end alive.
I went to Christian counselling and had a few good friends who were there to support me. One in particular stuck by me the whole way and when I finally recovered from the depression he and I resumed a relationship in March 2012. I didn't tell him the full story until about three months later. I tried telling him matter-of-factly with a straight face but he started crying when I told him and I couldn't help it. At that moment I realised I had his full support and that what happened in the past was still raw but that was OK as there is no time limit on such a thing. It lifted a huge burden of shame on my past.
Coming to the conclusion that my old church was actually a cult has been one of the hardest things. I was of the idea that only stupid or crazy people joined cults. I knew my parents (who were in the church from the start) were neither of those but as I realised that my previous thoughts on cults were mostly myth I could reconcile to the fact. It ticked all the boxes (control, elitism, excommunication, [psychological] isolation etc) and it makes sense in light of everything that happened.
With that in mind I'm still concerned for some of the people there. They have some new people too. I haven't heard from my old friends there regularly though some will talk if I bump into them on the street. Most though avoid me and my family if they see us. It's not easy and I know there'll be scars to carry around for the rest of my life, much like scars I've got after surgery. However rather than been bitter about it I will use them to learn from my experiences.
One thing I'm hoping to do is help other people who have been in the same boat as myself and my family. If you want to drop a line, prayer request or just chat I'm available.
Sorry for the long post and thank you for reading.
So it's been a few years since I last posted here. Thanks to study, work and personal stuff I haven't really had much time but I'm so glad to be back
!Now some of you may remember this thread:
http://www.christianforums.com/t7421674/
It's been just over three years since this happened. First thing I want to say is thanks for all your replies and prayers; it really helped in that time.
My family are doing quite well. A week before I turned 19 my Mum gave birth. Mum's pregnancy started a mere two months after we were kicked out so 2010 turned out to be a good year. My other sister is in a Christian high school and is faring well.
Late 2010 to late 2011 is not a time I'm proud of. I ended up almost every week going to pubs or parties and drank excessively. I dated a few guys in this time and ended up hurting one of them in the process.
It was after that break-up that I reached my lowest emotional point in years. I realised that I'd been spending a good part of that year trying to avoid processing how I felt about being kicked out of that church. As a lot of home truths kicked in ALL the emotions I tried escaping from for two years hit me all at once. For almost six months I had acute depression and at many points seriously considered taking my life. Thanks to God I came out the other end alive.
I went to Christian counselling and had a few good friends who were there to support me. One in particular stuck by me the whole way and when I finally recovered from the depression he and I resumed a relationship in March 2012. I didn't tell him the full story until about three months later. I tried telling him matter-of-factly with a straight face but he started crying when I told him and I couldn't help it. At that moment I realised I had his full support and that what happened in the past was still raw but that was OK as there is no time limit on such a thing. It lifted a huge burden of shame on my past.
Coming to the conclusion that my old church was actually a cult has been one of the hardest things. I was of the idea that only stupid or crazy people joined cults. I knew my parents (who were in the church from the start) were neither of those but as I realised that my previous thoughts on cults were mostly myth I could reconcile to the fact. It ticked all the boxes (control, elitism, excommunication, [psychological] isolation etc) and it makes sense in light of everything that happened.
With that in mind I'm still concerned for some of the people there. They have some new people too. I haven't heard from my old friends there regularly though some will talk if I bump into them on the street. Most though avoid me and my family if they see us. It's not easy and I know there'll be scars to carry around for the rest of my life, much like scars I've got after surgery. However rather than been bitter about it I will use them to learn from my experiences.
One thing I'm hoping to do is help other people who have been in the same boat as myself and my family. If you want to drop a line, prayer request or just chat I'm available.
Sorry for the long post and thank you for reading.
