My life is empty

[Angeleyes7715]

My life is empty now. I don't have my bf anymore. I have to finish my certification program and work part time to pay bills. There is no joy in any of this. I miss my boyfriend even if he had a bad attitude all the time at least it was better than living with nothing and no one. I feel regret now. I shouldn't have tried to leave I should have just dealt with it.

I only have darkness to look forward to and I don't know what else to do. I did pray.

I'm about to walk. I calmed down only because I took a hanful of chamomile capsules to stop hyperventilating cause I as going to pass out.

I'm in so much grief really can someone look at someone who is in my situation and think there is hope for anything other than a terrible life.

I still have this awful health problem and haven't had friends all my life and nlbarely have any family.

I just want God to end my suffering!

 

[drjean]

(((hugs))) I think you did the right thing!
God will heal your suffering... focus upon Him and not any regrets you are feeling. Feelings lie to us, they are not necessarily the truth.

God loves you and when you are in a good place, content, and knowing you are successful in this life, well then you will look back and be glad that you persevered through this tough time.

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[Jenniferdiana]

aw. trust me there is still hope. dont give up...just keep praying

 

[SpiritSong]

If you had not left the boyfriend, there would have been no room for a real caring nice boyfriend with a GOOD ATTITUDE. Be patient. The right one will come along.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

The chamomile only works for so long it's really not that strong and I gotta keep taking it cause I'm scared of going back into a panic attack.

I texted the crisis line already.

I've tried going for a walk but I break down and start crying so I went back home.

I don't see how I'm going to get through this.
I don't have health insurance right now and I live in the us so I can't go to the hospital and get meds.

I wish someone would just put an IV in my arm of something to make me just keep sleeping I'm don't think I can make it. I'm scared I'm going to make myself sick.

Mentally I'm not strong enough for this.

 

[Apologetic_Warrior]

With Christ there is always hope! Hang in there, He who called us will never leave nor forsake us! This too shall pass, feelings come and go like the wind, cling to the rock of our salvation, cry out to Him, He cares for the brokenhearted! I waited on the Lord for many many many years, to the point I gave up, but He heard my cries, and though I gave up on Him answering, He never gave up on me!

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Take this as a lesson to NEVER date anyone even remotely similar to your bf.

No one should make you feel like that especially not a significant other.

Make a list of standards that you want in a guy and want to look out for.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

The chamomile only works for so long it's really not that strong and I gotta keep taking it cause I'm scared of going back into a panic attack.

I texted the crisis line already.

I've tried going for a walk but I break down and start crying so I went back home.

I don't see how I'm going to get through this.
I don't have health insurance right now and I live in the us so I can't go to the hospital and get meds.

I wish someone would just put an IV in my arm of something to make me just keep sleeping I'm don't think I can make it. I'm scared I'm going to make myself sick.

Mentally I'm not strong enough for this.

Besides your bf what's all on your mind.

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

It was probably for the best that you two broke up because the relationship was not healthy at all. It's better to feel pain now than be trapped in a loveless miserable marriage.

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[Kenny'sID]

The chamomile only works for so long it's really not that strong and I gotta keep taking it cause I'm scared of going back into a panic attack.

I texted the crisis line already.

I've tried going for a walk but I break down and start crying so I went back home.

I don't see how I'm going to get through this.
I don't have health insurance right now and I live in the us so I can't go to the hospital and get meds.

I wish someone would just put an IV in my arm of something to make me just keep sleeping I'm don't think I can make it. I'm scared I'm going to make myself sick.

Mentally I'm not strong enough for this.

I'm sorry, rock bottom isn't a good place to be, so lets see if we can get you on your way back up.

Do you qualify for medicaid? There are plenty of people out there that do, and don't know it.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

When a Roommate Moves Out

• the departing tenant will be liable for the rent for the balance of the lease.
• Will pay for any damage she caused to the rental unit.
• Will pay for rent and damage no later than a stated date.

-----------------------------

This is interesting. It tells that the landlord can evict the other one that stays, even if that person pays the rent.

Stop with your scare tactics. Different states have different rules. I'll find out what the rules are for the lease I'm in before getting worried about what may not apply to me. I was planning to pay in the first place so stop.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

I'm sorry, rock bottom isn't a good place to be, so lets see if we can get you on your way back up.

Do you qualify for medicaid? There are plenty of people out there that do, and don't know it.

Since I'm always on and off jobs due to trying to find and actual career in my field and getting my certification I qualify but I don't have time to fight with AZ Medicaid Dept. They screw up my paperwork and say it's not sent in when I call and fax them constantly so my application was denied and it took months to get them to even look at my paperwork. They said I didn't send in proof of income and I had uploaded it directly to their site lol. I even called multiple times making sure they had everything and multiple agents said everything was fine. Then I got a denial saying they didn't have paperwork weeks later lol. The system is really really messed up.

 

[Kenny'sID]

Stop with your scare tactics. Different states have different rules. I'll find out what the rules are for the lease I'm in before getting worried about what may not apply to me. I was planning to pay in the first place so stop.

Clearly some people just don't know any better, so please don't let them get you down.

 

[Kenny'sID]

Since I'm always on and off jobs due to trying to find and actual career in my field and getting my certification I qualify but I don't have time to fight with AZ Medicaid Dept. They screw up my paperwork and say it's not sent in when I call and fax them constantly so my application was denied and it took months to get them to even look at my paperwork. They said I didn't send in proof of income and I had uploaded it directly to their site lol. I even called multiple times making sure they had everything and multiple agents said everything was fine. Then I got a denial saying they didn't have paperwork weeks later lol. The system is really really messed up.

They are bad at just that type thing, and it's all part of a con. I'll be doing a youtube video soon on how they play that game with the poor because they know we can do nothing about it. You need to at least call Legal Aid, tell them what's going on, and hope they don't do the same, just don't take no for an answer. It may be your only hope.

You may be plenty aggressive already, but since I don't know you well enough to know, I feel I should tell you to let them know by your actions, that you know what you are talking about, that you are not confused and that they are essentially flat out denying you medical care when you qualify. These people will prey on the seemingly weak/part of their strategy, so don't come off like that at all. It may not help but it can certainly hurt if you are timid in any way.

I'm guessing you know they just want you to give up and do without, something that is absolutely atrocious.

I was beginning to think it was just Fl, but maybe not.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

co-dependency is a powerful drug. it keeps you willing to be in a bad situation believing it's better than no situation. like the Israelites coming out of Egypt, they wanted to go back to what was familiar even if it was bad rather than forge a new and better path through unfamiliarity.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

See like right now I'm trying to work on my class work but it feels kind of pointless cause I'm thinking I may just drop out of my certification program to get another full-time loser pharmacy tech call center job to save money again and pay off the debt. The thing is I took out school loans to do this so I may need to take leave or something. I've only been in the certification program 3 weeks. I'm so distraught over my relationship I'm really having trouble caring. And since my ex doesn't have a phone his bosses group chat keeps texting my phone constantly.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Prayers for you, dear one.

I know we can have that sense of loss and it's tempting to let it overpower us, but it gets easier and easier. And I think everyone else is right - it sounds like you made space to be happy with someone else who will treat you right. People who don't just drag us down, even though we sometimes think the company is better than no one. But I'm reminded that it's not. I think of the quote - "there is a worse thing than being alone - being with people who make you feel like you are". But you have the chance to make things better, and that makes it much more likely to draw people to you who will treat you better.

Please don't give up on your long term goals. The time of preparation goes back faster than you think, and then you are in a much better position to improve your situation.

Why don't you contact the bosses' group chat and tell them to remove you? You don't need constant reminders.

Keep that crisis line number handy and call if you need. You're texting? Do you have a phone number to call? I can get you one?

Take time to do something that makes you feel better. That's different for different people. Being outside and/or active is a very common one, or some spa-like relaxation? A hobby or interest?

Do you have or are you interested in having a pet? Fitted to your needs of course, not something too demanding. But they can be company, amusing, affectionate, lower stress, and it's nice to be needed.

And finally - and probably most importantly - do you have time each day to spend in prayer, reading Scripture? Seek God. He is often His most comforting during such times when we need it most. More than once I can look back and see the times most precious with Him were those times I was lowest in every other way.

I'm praying for you.