My life is an unending battle.

[Phascinate]

I find myself constantly thinking about God. It's plain and simple to see that God exists. Just... I'm not sure about the God in the Bible. I want to believe. I lack faith.

I asked Jesus into my heart this summer on a Junior High beach retreat. I felt amazing. My heart was at peace! But then, I started to have those doubts again.

"Maybe it's just a religious thing. I mean, I could be a Muslim and have the same feelings of peace. It's just chemicals in the brain. It isn't real.", I would, and still do to this day, say in my mind.

It's as if- well- I'm looking for a sign from Him. I've already had a sign of his existence, but I keep on doubting.

That sign that I had of His existence happened the day after I was saved (at the beach retreat with my church). I had forgotten my Bible before going to the beach retreat, so I had to resort to the Bible application on my iPod touch. We went to the beach for some alone time with God. After our quiet time, I guess I accidentally left my iPod unlocked, for when I took it out of my pocket, it had sent me to Galations 5. Galations 5 talks about all the things I have trouble with (doubting, etc.).

I'm so unfaithful. I still have an empty feeling in my soul. I'm one messed up 13 year old. Please don't be mean because I'm so doubtful, when I have so much evidence for Him.

I don't know what to do.

 

[Peripatetic]

Welcome to the forum! You aren't messed up at all. Believe it or not, we all go through times of doubt and questioning. It is part of the journey and maturing process of a Christian.

Be careful not to expect too much. You aren't always going to have that peaceful bliss feeling that you had at first. Life has a lot of ups and downs, especially in the teen years! Being a Christian won't eliminate that, BUT... it gives you a focus in life.

You are doing the right thing by learning the Bible and its messages, but that too is a lifelong pursuit. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't need to be on your mind every second. There is plenty of room for fun, music, friends, etc.

Feelings of emptiness and depression will also come. For me, it was always in the winter. I had no explanation for it, but those were the times where I'd really struggle. Best thing to do is to find someone at your church or a Christian family member and talk about it. Be honest and talk about what you are doubting and why. You may find that the Holy Spirit gives that person just the right words, as He did the day your iPod app gave you some wisdom.

 

[spr]

You have doubts, that's not unusual. But if you have doubts that you need Jesus Christ to save you that is a serious problem.

If you conclude that you need Jesus Christ, and that you're not good enough to get into heaven on your own, you should commit your life to him.

 

[Buzzy]

I was about your age when I got saved and I have to shake my head at the doubts I had. Some things in the Bible seem so impossible and make so little sense, don't they? And yet you think about God all the time? Ask God for his helper (comforter, messenger etc.) the Holy Spirit, make room for him in your heart, prepare to give ALL to him and if you can do all that he will come and make sense of so many things for you. It took me decades to decide I could not live without God in my heart and running my life and I have no idea how long it might take you (minutes or a lifetime) but when you do you will know that Jesus Christ lives today and always and that God sent him to rescue us. God Bless you and you're in my prayers.

 

[paul1149]

Kieth Green made a good point once. He said that all the other great religious leaders pointed to Jesus, but Jesus only pointed to Himself. You can approach this several ways. One way is to compare the lives and doctrines of other religious founders. Another is to study the integrity of the Bible (McDowell's Evidence series is good). And the most important way is to seek the Lord will all your heart.

Don't fight this battle in the emotional realm, forcing yourself to "believe". Instead make little concrete choices to actually trust. That will take you in close to God, and as you persist, whatever you need will be revealed to you (Jn 7.17).

 

[jamiejohn]

Matthew 12:39 He answered, "A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a miraculous sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah.

Not that you are wicked, it just a scripture to help my point. Being a Christian has a lot to do with faith. So be of good cheer I'm sure you will experience miraculous events in due time.

I also wasn't 100% sure at one stage, but God didn't give any reason for me to doubt him, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

I was tormented by real demons for a long time and God saved me. It was amazing one of the best things that ever happened to me. And I have had other miraculous events happen to me in my Christian life some small, some big.

There is CF subform of testimonials that has some amazing, awesome miracles. God is real, God is awesome, God is everything he says he is. I hope this helps a bit.

 

[Llamapop]

Everyone has doubts at times. I know it can seem exhausting, especially if you feel you have to battle with your doubts every single day. Never expect to have no doubt whatsoever, just know that it is something you struggle with a lot. It's good to be aware of this because you will more than likely be tempted the most in that area of your faith. You can ask God to remove doubt from your heart and replace it with unyielding faith.

If something about the Bible confuses you about what you think God is, you MUST research/read it to DEATH until you gain full understanding or enough understanding to regain peace. Do not feel guilty about questioning or doubting, instead acknowledge and accept your doubts and attempt to find ways to destroy them, through knowledge and wisdom of God's word. Faith comes by hearing, Romans 10:17. Praying and fasting can help us get rid of disbelief in ourselves, as well, Matthew 17:20-21. Even God's disciples had moments of unbelief. In this passage, Jesus says praying and fasting helps. Fasting humbles us enough to discard disbelief, so we can do works with faith in Him.

 

[Phascinate]

Thanks to everyone who has sent me emails and also replied to this post. I feel better now.