Well I guess it's more the fact that he is not engaged and he offers no input into the planning that is so frustrating-as akmom said. In the original post I was just giving the only examples of trips that we have attempted together. When we have time off together, which is rare, he usually opts for watching tv. This weekend we both have four days off together. This will be the last time we have this much time off together for a while. Therefore, I suggested maybe we could go on a short weekend trip to a neighboring city and just stay in a hotel and pick one activity to do together as a family. He said "sure". I asked what he thought would be fun. He responded, "I don't know. Whatever you want to do". I gave some suggestions of things I thought would be fun- swimming, going to some type of kid friendly spot (aquarium, zoo, etc) since we will have our children with us. He again said something to the effect of, "whatever you want to do is fine". Which equates to- I plan everything and then he comes along and complains about the price and/or nature of the activity chosen, or as often is the case I just give up and don't plan anything and I spend the weekend cleaning and watching kids while he watches tv. I wasn't saying that he is horrible-I just don't know how else to approach this besides just planning my own trips without him.
I love my husband more than anybody in the whole world, I really do. But if we're going on a vacation, it's because I brought it up, suggested a location, booked it, planned it, and we went. He is a great and amazing man who does a lot of things well, but planning a vacation (while he could do it and probably do it well if he had to) is just not his thing at all. Of all the vacations we've ever taken, I was in charge of booking, making plans, buying tickets, getting the hotels, finding the flights, and reminding him what days to get off. It has absolutely nothing to do with me, with us, with our family, or anything other than he doesn't like the pressure of planning vacations for us because he feels I know more about what to do at the destination we hit than he does. We've done Disney together, what, 6 times in the last 3 years? He planned none of them. Just gave me the "OK" and told me how much he was OK with spending.
The one trip he booked on his own (the one where he came to Disney to surprise me and my family), I still hear about what a disaster it was, how much he overpaid, and how much he hated trying to figure it out. He was glad to get there, but I heard a lot about how he booked a flight but didn't realize he booked it on the wrong day, then he didn't allow himself enough time to get to the airport, and he flew standby, then he lost his seat, then he got a taxi and overpaid there, he got to the park and bought the wrong ticket, etc etc etc. The flight back he was double-fared but didn't notice it, he booked the wrong flight, he didn't book a connecting flight...
He came out of it saying "this is why I don't plan trips."
I suggest you do what I do... Suggest it's time to take a trip, ask for the budget, ask if he has preferences (nearby or not, overnight or not, relaxing or on-the-go) and then just book it. If he says "whatever is fine," then take him at his word, stick to the budget, and do your thing. If he asks how much it's costing, tell him you're in the budget and we can discuss it when we get home.
That said, I don't have a problem with the complaining (bolded part) so I'm not sure how to address that.
