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my husband divorced me

turkle

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Sometimes, when we inflict pain on someone we love, we have to face the consequences. Your consequence is that your ex-husband chose to no longer be married to you. In your own words, you tore him down, and he no longer wants to be married to you. He proved that point by divorcing you.

I understand that you have regrets, and that the blame is not 100% yours. That is not the point. Your ex-husband has made it clear to you that he no longer wants to be married to you. The sooner you accept the reality of the situation, the sooner you will heal.

Certainly you can pray for reconciliation. If that is what God wills, then your ex will come around. Until then, I recommend that you leave him alone and give him space. I have a feeling that he is feeling pressure from you to reconcile, and says what you want to hear to keep you calm.

In the meantime, your ex has moved on, and so should you. Don't allow yourself to obsess over this. Find something to occupy your mind. When the desperate thoughts start, redirect them to prayer and worship. Determine to be strong and disciplined in your physical and thought life.

Too often we assume that God wants something for us when we are simply convincing ourselves because we want something desperately. God will move your ex to you without your constant need for contact with him if that's His will. The fact that you are panicking because you haven't talked to him is most likely evidence of your neediness and desperation. Turn that desperation into desperation for God...just God. Not your ex. God is the only one who will direct your path, but you must listen to Him without being distracted by your own desires.

I'm sorry that you are hurting so badly. But I encourage you to seek the face of God rather than pursuing a man who has clearly shown that he doesn't want to be married to you anymore. When you surrender your desires to God and God alone, He will direct you. I wish you well.
 
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Dave-W

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This is what I struggle with :( I don't know that I hear God.
You can know you are hearing God (and not someone from the other side) by applying several filters.

First, get a good friend who is a mature believer and has spiritual discernment. Does that person agree that what you heard was from God? If not .....

Next, make sure that nothing in what you think you may have heard contradicts scripture. (this does not mean violating our INTERPRETATION of scripture) If not .....

If it says something about the future, did it come true? If not .....

There are more filters that can be brought to bear but these 3 will suffice for now.
And what happens if you hit one of those "If not ....." options?
Reject it as coming from the devil or his minions.
 
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ImaginaryDay

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ImaginaryDay

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Here's what stands out to me from your OP. Obviously you both care for one another at a certain level. You seem conflicted, and so does he. However, one big red flag I see is with the 'Instagram' stuff. You stated your concerns, he removed them. You said again that you thought the two of you shouldn't talk until he was "ready to try". I can understand that, as he says he misses you, and cares about you, but doesn't want to try again with you. That would be hurtful. Now, he's back on the 'Instagram' pages again.
As hard as it can (and will) be, until he decides what he wants to do (and tells you), focus on your goals and live your life the best you can for God. Take time for your own Spiritual health. Stay close to those who care about you - you'll need people in community with you that can help you.
 
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