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My homosexuality

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R2_Wildfire

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This is a really huge attempt for me to get help with my problem. I am 15 years old. I have been a Christian for 5 years although there was a period where I was separated. Since the age of 12, have been slowly been plagued by homosexuality. It was really slow at first and I really didn't see it that way until now. At this point I feel that my homosexual desires are out of control. I feel attraction to many men and I try not to but I can't. It's to he point where I'm seriously thinking to find myself a boyfriend. It's just too strong. I know what the Bible teaches about it and I believe it but I just can't overcome it. It's not like I act like that around people. I love my friends in the love of Christ and I let no emotions within me affect what I feel for my friends. It's still an attraction. I wasn't ever abused or touched or anything like that. It's to the point where a couple nights ago, I dreamt one of the guys I'm attracted to at school was my boyfriend. I really need help. I feel that if I don't conquer this soon that I may be overtaken by it and lose what I have in the Lord. I don't want to lose it but it's too much. Please help. Please. Pray
 
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desi

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What you feel is both from God and wrong. God made you the way you are and he has forbidden you from acting on it. Catholics would say you are to live a life of celibacy but I don't know. God does give answers to prayers and I will pray for you to receive an answer beyond my wisdom as I don't understand it.

desi
 
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Pastor Frank

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The only thing that's a bit unusual about your situation is that your impulses are so strong at such a young age.The bad news is that in the next few years unless you get rid of this problem,it can cause you to lose control of yourself.Most likely the problem has been created by the lack of love you have received from your father.Homosexuals try to make up the emotional void in their lives by seeking loving relations with other guys.So one thing you can do is to improve your relationship with your father or another straight man.However you really do need some professiional help.Unfortunately there are very few therapists trained to help people overcome their homosexual desires.However there are two organizations that help people over the internet.One is called Exodus International,the second is called Setting Captives Free.The second organization offers free courses,one of which is for the elimination of homosexual desires.Your motivation to overcome the problem is strong,so with God's help,you should be able to come out of this.
 
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stray bullet

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R2_Wildfire said:
This is a really huge attempt for me to get help with my problem. I am 15 years old. I have been a Christian for 5 years although there was a period where I was separated. Since the age of 12, have been slowly been plagued by homosexuality. It was really slow at first and I really didn't see it that way until now. At this point I feel that my homosexual desires are out of control. I feel attraction to many men and I try not to but I can't. It's to he point where I'm seriously thinking to find myself a boyfriend. It's just too strong. I know what the Bible teaches about it and I believe it but I just can't overcome it. It's not like I act like that around people. I love my friends in the love of Christ and I let no emotions within me affect what I feel for my friends. It's still an attraction. I wasn't ever abused or touched or anything like that. It's to the point where a couple nights ago, I dreamt one of the guys I'm attracted to at school was my boyfriend. I really need help. I feel that if I don't conquer this soon that I may be overtaken by it and lose what I have in the Lord. I don't want to lose it but it's too much. Please help. Please. Pray

Hey - what does your heart tell you?

I went through the same thing as you, I don't believe you can change it, only accept it and change the view of the bible people have given you. I worry people who have to make a choice between faith and homosexuality are at great risk of losing their faith :(
 
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Wilfred of Ivanhoe

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R2_Wildfire,

I'm sorry, but I really disagree with a lot of the advice you've been given. You don't need to wait for God to give you an answer about these desires, he already has in his Word. Nor would I go about to change the way you look at the Bible. When you are saved, you are a new creation. You are to turn from your wicked ways and follow the lord in obediance.

Read Romans Ch. 7. Paul laments that the things that he would do, he does not, and the things we would not do, he does. Even a man of this calibre of faith is in constant warefare with his fleshly desires.

Seeking professional help may be a good idea. However, a quick paraphrase of an Old Testiment story. If you want exact Book, Ch. & verse, I'll look it up. There was once a king of Judah who became greatly sick. Rather than seeking God for help, he went exclusively to the various doctors of his time. God punished this man because he did not seek God. Am I saying that going to a hospital is wrong? No, God has given us doctors and other professionals for a reason. However, what I am saying is to put your faith in God to help you past your problems. Give up your own will to change yourself and pray that God would change you for him. It may take time, much time, before this prayer is answered, but be of good cheer, the Lord Jesus has conquered the world!

If I can give up my sexual perversions, so can you. I have been held captive in my lusts and totally given up to them in times in my life. I have felt the pain of having sinful sexual desires and feeling powerless to overcome them. I have hated myself for my evils. However, through God's power, he has cleansed me of them! Those urges are still there because they are part of my fleshly desires, and I must repent of my wicked thoughts daily, nay, hourly. It is not easy, but if you trust in the Lord, he will give you the strength to overcome your desires. I will pray that the Lord put his hand on you and give you the peace to overcome your desires.

May God Bless You!
 
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charligirl

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Please don't change the way you view the bible, it is the word of God and is very clear on this topic. Wilfred has a good point, many of us have conquered sexual impulses, lusts and desires (the fact yours are homosexual in nature makes no difference, sexual sin is sexual sin whether you crave men/women or unnatural impulses.)

I would suggest counsel, there is a great international ministry that has helped many people who struggle with sexual urges and gender issues, they are called Living Waters http://www.recmin.org/livingwaters.htm they focus on the bible and who we are in CHrist, and how to find out TRUE identity as a child of God.

Leanne Payne also has written books and has great revelation in this area.

There are also good books, 'Setting love in order' by Mario Bergner is a great one.

God bless, don't be alone in this, cry out to God because He has the power to overcome sin and temptation.
 
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Susan

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.:Mod hat on:.

[noflame]
[notroll]

Offering loving support and prayer for the OP is allowed, as that is what this forum is here for. :)

Nevertheless, this is not a homosexuality debate. If you wish to debate the nature of homosexuality itself or flame someone, go to GA and do it. :) Not only will outright support for homosexuality be moderated in this CO forum according to [nooff], but un-Christian behavior like fits of rage and anger toward a fellow Christian will be as well.
 
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Mr.Cheese

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*hug*
You're my little bro and I love you.
I can't imagine the struggle you face. I know that God loves you though. He always loves us, even though.
The way I see it is as humans we all struggle. Why some struggle with homosexuality is something I do not understand, but they still do.
I have a dear friend who is lesbian and she is trying to do her best also.
 
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Risen Tree

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desi said:
What you feel is both from God and wrong.
Huh? :scratch:

God made you the way you are and he has forbidden you from acting on it. Catholics would say you are to live a life of celibacy but I don't know. God does give answers to prayers and I will pray for you to receive an answer beyond my wisdom as I don't understand it.

desi
oh....
 
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Hugbabyboy

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Dood, listen up carefully to me. I look at your addiction to being with men the same as my addiction to drugs. I get these crazy urges to do just 1 line of cocaine. Its the greatest feeling in the world no matter what anyone tells you, and it doesnt even seem wrong to me. I get this feel that its OK to do it because I'm fooling myself. Man, if someone wants they can convince that murder is OK, as long as they have a good enough reason. But in the end of the act, someone gets hurt (the family of who u killed and so on....), so then something must of been wrong to begin with.
If you are have crazy urges to be with men, its cool. Im not saying its OK. But dood its cool. You need to have those things. But you never have to act them out. Acting them out is a different story. When you get those feelings, its just part of being a teen and getting all different types of feelings. But knowing yourself that its wrong by posting here on the web, is telling me that your good to go basically. You know its wrong, and you know that, "hey its just a dream and its not going to happen".

Man when I was 15 (im 25 now), I dreamt about everything from having sex with women to fruit to my pet dog. Nobody talks about it, and you basically think your the only one with this issue happening. But your not. Everyone has quirky fantasies. And they always stay as fantasies (thats what makes them fantasies). I wouldnt be worried if I was you. Just pray for your fantasies, and within time man you are going to have new fantasies to take the place of those old ones. Trust me, I know.
 
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R2_Wildfire

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well replying to some of you, it's not just fantasies. They're desires. I don't act them out cuz that's common sense and it would be stupid. I don't believe that having homosexual tendencies is right according to what has been taught to me by the Word of God. I don't think having such a really heavy desire to have a sexual encounter with a man being one is right. God created men and women for a reason and I'm not saying that I hate women either or anyone for that matter. I know what I feel is wrong but I feel that if it becomes too late, I may act on them. Please pray. This is becoming really hard and I don't know what to do anymore.
 
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Endure2

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R2_wildfire

hello friend,
this could possibly ruin my reputation as an upstanding Christian or whatever in some peoples eyes but anyway.

im not in the same place that you are so i cant fully relate, but i struggle with homosexual tendencies and such, i remember when it started, it began with only certain aspects or certain ideas being suddenly attractive and i didnt know where it came from, and i didnt know what to do either. and its still a struggle everyday. and like you said it grows, its like a cancer, it spreads, the more numb you become to the idea of homosexuality and the more friendly you become toward it, the more open minded you become toward it.
and becuase it is a part of the sexual make up of us, it seems to take much more discipline to control, becuase that is probly the strongest part of our souls. our desire to be sexualy fullfilled that is.
i dont mean to make this dirty or anything, but im trying to be real.

the thing is, it is not impossible to stop, you do have the victory in Christ.
and this stuff shall not have dominion over you, you can be free in Jesus name and you will be free if you seek the Lord, meditate in the word of God let it fill you with power and knowledge, stay close to God continually, and submit to the Lord.

the thing is, as im sure youve seen, this isnt something you can pray about and it just leaves forever.
its like an old stray cat, it will keep coming back and keep coming back, you have to starve it and eventually it will quit coming around.

its a fight that is a process.
and it cant be won by willpower.
the only way to win the fight, is to continually submit to God, he will always lead you away from the temptation. you cant just change your mind or decide to quit.
willpower doesnt work, thats why people who call homosexuals sissies who just arent real men are wrong, becuase will power isnt enough. it will break you if you try to change your mind, and leave nothing but depression.

i dont have all the answers i still struggle and have to press on toward the mark of the high calling, and constantly run back to the prayer place or the fantasies return.
but one thing ive learned, is that you need to be commited to a life free from homosexuality and choose to follow Christ no matter what.
but that isnt enough by itself.
you need to discipline yourself to pray everyday of your life, for a good amount of time, and get in the word everyday for a good amount of time.
that will guard your spirit from the temptation.
THE BIBLE SAYS TAKE HEED UNTO PRAYER...IT DOESNT SAY TO JUST QUIT SINNING. becuase you cant.
you have to turn your focus off of trying to not doit anymore, and onto making sure that your praying and reading enough and staying full of the presence of God in your life.
spend a good amount of time alone with God everyday, as much as it takes, becuase that strengthens you and prepares you and cleans you.
or you will never come out of this... you just never will.

but you can be free, ive seen so much progress in myself.
you really can be free, and you must go on to being free.
you can struggle with this for the rest of your life, and still go to heavon and be saved as long as your looking to God and fighting it, but you can also be free. he can set you free.

but dont just try to make up your mind to stop doing it, run to the prayer place instead. it is the only way. God has to set you free.
the prayer place is much more powerful than you are. you really dont stand a chance by yourself.

and brother, run this race with patience, its not how fast you get there, its how far you go.
 
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Endure2

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well man, this is just it
RUN TO THE ALTAR!

the one at church, and the one you will have to make in your room everyday.
all you can do is run to God for help.
pray untill you get the victory, and ill pray for you. and begin to tell yourself that you are free, get bold and dont be afraid. if your afraid of falling youll always fall.

and i know that as you run to the altar or the prayer place and to time alone in the word of God, you will see yourself come up out of this, youll feel free, youll feel refreshed, becuase i live it all the time.
but the key is to stay ready and stay on your knees even when you feel free, becuase the enemy is regrouping and your about to be hit again.
and if you dont know the attack will come back, becuase believe me it will, youll always fall back down.
the key is to learn to be consistent and permanent in your prayer life.
all it takes is to allow yourself to slip away from the prayer place for days or a week, and you can be defeated again. you wont go to hell, but you will be overcome.

go to prayer, God will lift you up, and then get ready for the next attack.
becuase the devil will return.

im sorry for saying so much, but this is a deep complex issue.
and if you were looking for a quick paragraph and 7 steps to freedom, theres no such thing.

well Godbless you brother.
 
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Rafael

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You can overcome anything with the blood of the lamb and by fighting the good fight against our old nature and the evils it is heir to. You may have been born with different attributes, but that does not mean that you were born without a choice in your mind to ask God's Holy Spirit and grace to help you win victory over this burden in your life. The flesh does not have to rule over the body, and the spirit can have control with help from God. Just giving in would not be the thing to do, so fight the good fight and do not feed yourself any pornography, as it is very hard to break away from whether a person is inclined either way sexually. Young men and older men all have to fight to win control over the flesh, and if we excuse ourselves from the fight, then it is the same as losing and not stepping into the ring to fight the good fight our brother Paul spoke of. I sure hope and pray that you will get all the help and support you can to make yourself an interesting and productive life that will be well lived and, ofcourse, lived for the Lord and not your flesh. Let your testimony be that you have and will fight the good fight, and that through God's grace and the help of Jesus with your burden, you have overcame.

1 Timothy 6:12 Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.

Ephesians 4:22 throw off your old evil nature and your former way of life, which is rotten through and through, full of lust and deception. 23 Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. 24 You must display a new nature because you are a new person, created in God's likeness - righteous, holy, and true.

Galatians 5:17 (LIV) For we naturally love to do evil things that the Holy Spirit tells us not to do; and the good things we want to do when the Holy Spirit has His way with us are just the opposite of our natural desires. These two forces within us are constantly fighting each other to win control over us, and our wishes are never free from their pressures.

1 John 2:13 I am writing to you who are mature because you know Christ, the one who is from the beginning. I am writing to you who are young because you have won your battle with Satan. 14 I have written to you, children, because you have known the Father. I have written to you who are mature because you know Christ, the one who is from the beginning. I have written to you who are young because you are strong with God's word living in your hearts, and you have won your battle with Satan. 15 Stop loving this evil world and all that it offers you, for when you love the world, you show that you do not have the love of the Father in you. 16 For the world offers only the lust for physical pleasure, the lust for everything we see, and pride in our possessions. These are not from the Father. They are from this evil world. 17 And this world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever.

1 John 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

Revelation 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
 
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SOME DISTURBING COMMENTS

Firstly, you are a minor. I am concerned that in people responding to you, you may be exposed to inappropriate information.
Secondly, young adolescent boys do sometimes have feelings about both the opposite and the same sex. This does not make it good (or easy for you), but those urges do occur. By the what you have stated it seems you have not acted on your urges; i would encourage you not to. The first place to start is perhaps choosing an older Christian friend (who you trust) and talking about it with him. The next thing to do is to ask mum and dad if you can see a Christian Counsellor; Are they Christians? can they support you? I understand it would be really hard for you to talk about that with them...perhaps you can say you want to talk confidentially with the counsellor; they should respect that...if you feel they may not, then DO NOT approach them. Is there a Christian telepone counselling service tht u can phone? or maybe a pastor who does not know you from another church? If these urges are strong, i would encourage you to seek professional help.
Stephen
 
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LynneClomina

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R2_Wildfire, here is a link to setting captives free's DOOR OF HOPE program. it works on the premise of drawing close to God and renewing the mind and submitting to God. they have really good programs. i havent done this one yet, but i plan to as i had that problem before (and Jesus gave me victory) and i want to minister in the area.

http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/door_hope/

you CAN beat this, but only in God's power.
 
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