My girlfriend wants to go clubbing

[Kate94]

Not to sound too judgmental either, but why go to a club that the OP describes as a "grind fest" and have friends that encourage you to drink underage and go to strip clubs, if you're a Christian? There is nothing wrong with a Christian socializing, of course, but that group of friends sounds like a bad influence.

 

[NewUser777]

Not to sound too judgmental either, but why go to a club that the OP describes as a "grind fest" and have friends that encourage you to drink underage and go to strip clubs, if you're a Christian? There is nothing wrong with a Christian socializing, of course, but that group of friends sounds like a bad influence.

This x 10.

I really have to laugh at the people defending the OP's girlfriend. They are not defending her so much as themselves.

 

[Cearbhall]

I really have to laugh at the people defending the OP's girlfriend. They are not defending her so much as themselves.

What a strange idea. I'm actually not a patron of clubs or the type of social activities that the OP describes.

We're simply suggesting that she be judged for her own actions rather than by the actions of other people who socialize at the same place. This thread is rather irrational. Grinding happens at middle school dances. That doesn't make every kid in attendance undateable. I'm not understanding the leap of logic.

 

[seashale76]

Not to sound too judgmental either, but why go to a club that the OP describes as a "grind fest" and have friends that encourage you to drink underage and go to strip clubs, if you're a Christian? There is nothing wrong with a Christian socializing, of course, but that group of friends sounds like a bad influence.

I agree with this 100%. I find it very odd that anytime anyone states something that is overtly Christian and how we are called to live for Christ and not like the world, some people immediately call that judgmental.

OP, you're in a difficult place, but you can't control what someone else is doing. You can only decide what you're going to do. If it were me, I'd let her go (both to the club and from a dating perspective). You're both obviously moving in different directions and have different views of what constitutes godly behavior. It always hurts to break up with someone, but it's best to do it before you get further involved. Within a few months or so, you likely will wonder what took you so long to break things off in the first place. Then, I would concentrate on socializing with Christians and others that share your views, and seek to date someone that you're on the same page with.

 

[Cactus Jack]

I have known of "grind fests" since I was in high school to even current, and they havn't changed- drugs, alcohol, public sex, nudity, and...kids. Maybe the phrase "hook & grind" comes to mind? That's where the kids blindfold the game participants, and whoever it is you catch in a dark room you have sex with. On the spot.

Yeah, ok. Let your girlfriend go to one of those. I don't care. She's your girlfriend, not mine.

 

[SARGAM NAGDA]

Don't be too possessive in a relationship.

Trust her and she will keep your trust.

 

[High Fidelity]

What a strange idea. I'm actually not a patron of clubs or the type of social activities that the OP describes.

We're simply suggesting that she be judged for her own actions rather than by the actions of other people who socialize at the same place. This thread is rather irrational. Grinding happens at middle school dances. That doesn't make every kid in attendance undateable. I'm not understanding the leap of logic.

Sinners will always try and entice us. We need to stop it in its tracks immediately. She should not go if that's who and what are waiting for her there.

 

[Cearbhall]

Sinners will always try and entice us. We need to stop it in its tracks immediately. She should not go if that's who and what are waiting for her there.

There's a whole spectrum of clubs. I have no idea what's waiting for her there. It could just be a glorified bar.

But yes, if things are happening there that she doesn't agree with and she's worried that she will be influenced by their behavior, then it would be wise of her to stay away. I personally don't have the urge to grind on a stranger when I see people doing it across the room, but I can't speak for her. Neither can her boyfriend.

 

[High Fidelity]

There's a whole spectrum of clubs. I have no idea what's waiting for her there. It could just be a glorified bar.

But yes, if things are happening there that she doesn't agree with and she's worried that she will be influenced by their behavior, then it would be wise of her to stay away. I personally don't have the urge to grind on a stranger when I see people doing it across the room, but I can't speak for her. Neither can her boyfriend.

Some people are indifferent to that behaviour despite professing beliefs that prohibit it.

Nonetheless, if my girlfriend was going somewhere like that I'd definitely tell her I wasn't comfortable with it and I'd rather she didn't go. If she still went then I think that says enough.

 

[Blue Wren]

What a strange idea. I'm actually not a patron of clubs or the type of social activities that the OP describes.

We're simply suggesting that she be judged for her own actions rather than by the actions of other people who socialize at the same place. This thread is rather irrational. Grinding happens at middle school dances. That doesn't make every kid in attendance undateable. I'm not understanding the leap of logic.

Yes, this precisely. The point I was making, was that the OP's girlfriend is a grown Christian woman, who needs to use discernment, to make this decision for herself. She knows her intentions. According to the OP, she simply wants to dance with her friends. It's not like she's wanting to do anything, that is radical, and will alter the course of her life. He said they have two years together. Surely, at this point, he should have enough trust, that she can make such a simple choice for herself. She's not a child.

 

[Cearbhall]

She knows her intentions. According to the OP, she simply wants to dance with her friends. It's not like she's wanting to do anything, that is radical, and will alter the course of her life.

Indeed. By the logic put forth in this thread, anyone who goes to a bar is to be judged as harshly as the man who gets wasted and starts a brawl. I would have quite a difficult and boring life if I tried to stay away from all of the places where people might misbehave.

Nonetheless, if my girlfriend was going somewhere like that I'd definitely tell her I wasn't comfortable with it and I'd rather she didn't go. If she still went then I think that says enough.

You're entitled to your feelings, of course, but I don't think I would feel guilty about wanting to have a night out with my girlfriends. If my theoretical boyfriend doesn't trust me enough to approve of me having a night out, then I think that says enough.

 

[mika2020]

Attention. Our job is to help others as we can as true christain by telling them base on the body of Christ does. Ask yourself this question does Jesus go to that kind of place just to soo call "enjoy himself" my spirit don't think sooo nor it agree. However if we go along with sin, and think that's it's ok to go this place and or that place that is ungodly, then we are not true christains. Even the bible tells us clearly and directly Romans 12:2
Romans 12:2King James Version (KJV)
2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
In addition our job as i stated is to

2 Timothy 4:2King James Version (KJV)
2 Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.

Hold fast to what we believe in. And live according to what it saids. Let us be true.
Anyone who overlook the scriptures and rather put their own opinion base on what they think is ok. Is truly does not have the Spirit of God within them nor a true genuine Christain. Because above in scripture is true, and it does not sugar coat anything or add a little spice to it. It is what it is. She has a free will to do what she want, and how she want. BUT GOD WORDS DO STAND TRUTH IS TRUTH

 

[euripetelynn]

First, this needs to be addressed:

A woman who is going to clubs now is very unlikely to be a good godly and faithful wife in the future. You need to get away from this girl and focus on serving Jesus Christ.
Read Proverbs 31.

One of my closest, most respectable Christian friends enjoys clubbing, yet she just got engaged and will certainly be a good and faithful wife. Proverbs 31 says nothing related to clubbing. However, read the chapter anyway and consider what it says. Don't date someone with poor character.

Clubbing isn't inherently evil. Jesus drank. Jesus partied. Dancing is fun and God-created. The trick is to realize when an activity becomes a stumbling block, which requires wisdom. Try reading Romans 14:13-23.

That said, from what I know, her friends seem like bad influences (clubs are debatable, strip clubs not so much).

As mentioned...

1 Corinthians 15:33 has been my mainstay for stuff like this: "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'"

Influence is a powerful thing. Your girlfriend's friends influence her, and she will certainly influence you in return. Ask yourself: is this influence good or bad? Is this relationship building you and her up or are you tearing each other down? Because why be in a relationship if you fail to help each other grow.

My advice: encourage her to consider the people she surrounds herself with and how they influence her. Ultimately, your relationship should be building both you and your girlfriend up, and bringing you closer to God. Seek out what's best for her. If she fails to reciprocate, you may need to consider cutting things off.

My goodness there is so much to say on this topic, but for the sake of brevity, I'll stop here

 

[Sharon0110]

In the world we live in, we have to have solid convictions about certain things and not get washed away in the sea of other people's decisions. The more you hesitate and question to do something OP, the less likely what you're considering doing is something right for you. If somebody else can do it with a clean conscience then yeah! good for you, go do it! But realize that if you yourself don't feel comfortable doing it, then chances are you shouldn't do it.

OP, ask the Holy Spirit in you, and He will guide you to make the decision :

- Why go to this club?

- Is the reason I'm going to the club something that will last beyond this one night? Will it build me up as a Christian?

- If what I'm seeking will not last beyond the night or build me up as a Christian, is there nothing else I could do with my time that will?

After you've weighed up your decision and do whatever you've chosen is best, if Jesus Christ our Saviour sees you and notes what you have chosen, will you be guilty with the choice made? Will you have misgivings? Or will He be pleased with the option you have chosen?

OP i don't know about your girlfriend, but before you get carried away by the wave of her decisions, make sure you're an unmoveable rock in your own.

 

[Cactus Jack]

I'd be concerned. It might not be what, but who she wants to club. Just keep all weapons away from her and I'm sure you'll do just fine.

 

[Butterfly99]

The OP is kinda acting more like he's his girlfriend's dad than her boyfriend. I agree w the ppl who said she should be trusted to make the decision for herself. Good grief, it's just a night out dancing at a club.

 

[Cearbhall]

The OP is kinda acting more like he's his girlfriend's dad than her boyfriend. I agree w the ppl who said she should be trusted to make the decision for herself. Good grief, it's just a night out dancing at a club.

Exactly. If he thinks he can't trust her, then why is he in a relationship with her? Does he expect that he'll be able to control her social life long-term? This is an issue that will come up again and again. I suggest breaking up.

 

[NewUser777]

Yes, this precisely. The point I was making, was that the OP's girlfriend is a grown Christian woman, who needs to use discernment, to make this decision for herself.

And how do you know she's a Christian? I don't believe the OP ever mentioned that.

You need to stop judging.

 

[Butterfly99]

And how do you know she's a Christian? I don't believe the OP ever mentioned that.

You need to stop judging.

Huh? There's a lot of awfully judgy posts on this thread but for real hers wasn't one of them. Maybe you need to stop judging ppl you think are judging when they're not, lol.

 

[Cactus Jack]

Hmmm. Point made.
All this infighting, and over what? The OP only posted once sine Oct. 16th. It is now Dec. 22nd, and where are they at? Besides rolling over laughing at our foolishness.