My girlfriend left me

[Dablain]

Good evening everyone. I wanted to post this in the married couples forum but it wont let me.
Here's the thing: my girlfriend just broke up with me after 7 years of relationship. We both are christians but we've been in a long distance relationship for 3 years now because I had to leave for college. At first She said she left me because I'm not a spiritual leader, I admit her faith is strong than mine, and she spend more time reading the Bible than I do. Now she said that God told her to leave me to Him, she said that I was first in her life and God second, and she had to break up with me to give God first place, and I must do the same thing too. What I don't understand is that she doesn't want me back,she says she still loves me but God she is not taking me back, she's not waiting for anyone, but she has to be ready if God gives hee another man, because if ahe loves God the way she supposes to, she will be able to love another man. And she aaid that she knows that God has a bettee woman for me. I wanna truat her, i tried too but none of thia makes since to me. I wanna let go but I can't. I still wanna think that she loves me but part of me thinks that maybe it's because I love her too much. I'd love to know what to do, if she's telling the truth, if I need to move on, and if so how to do that since I love her so much.
I desperately need help.

 

[Tolworth John]

Grief is powerfull and can seem to be over whelming.
Take time to grieve, to recover from the loss of the love of your life.
Faith = trust, it has very little to do with reading the bible. Unfortunetly your xgirlfriend has decided she does not want you.

You could try asking her how God told her and see if you can reason with her.

 

[Dablain]

By stronger faith i mean closer to God, intimate relationship. But you're saying that I can't pray for her to come back? You think the real reason ia because she doesn't love me anymore? Or maybe she loves someone else?

 

[Tolworth John]

I don't know why she's left you.
If she's saying 'God told' me either she has a strong faith based reason or she is not prepared to tell you the reason.
You know which of those is more likely to be correct.
By all means pray that she will listen to you and come back.
I'm not very hopefull.

 

[Dablain]

Okay but I told you what reason she gave me. She said she feels like for a long time I ocuppied God's place in her life. She asked God forgiveness because of that and the only thing to solve this is for her to leave me and desicate her life to God, and I should do the same thing. But I don't understand the part rhat she doesn't want me back. I'm very confused.

 

[timewerx]

I'd love to know what to do, if she's telling the truth, if I need to move on, and if so how to do that since I love her so much.
I desperately need help.

I don't know if she's telling the truth but she could also be deceived.

Just saying man, I'm not 100% of my opinion either.

 

[ReesePiece23]

Okay, I'm just going to offer out some practical advice to you, man to man. I won't ask too many questions (in fact none) about her, because it's quite frankly irrelevant now. As far as you're concerned it's categorically over.

This is where you're going to have to buck up and carry on with your life as if there is no chance of reconciliation - even tell yourself this. Some would say that this is reckless advice, but she needs to see you carrying on, putting yourself first, and chasing down some goals. Why? Because moping about like a neglected puppy shows a complete lack of self respect - which, to tell you the truth, IS everything. That right there is the holy grail, the jackpot and all the marbles. Self respect.

So, don't communicate with her at all. If you feel the urge to reach for the phone and text, DON'T. If you can't stop thinking about her, focus on something POWERFUL - listen to motivational speakers on podcasts, watch business start up videos, meditate, pump iron at the gym, anything. Just make sure it's focused on improving you, changing your way of thinking and opening your mind up to a brand new and exciting chapter of your life. Because this right now is exactly what it is. And as I say to everyone in your position, it's not a break up, it's a break through.

Don't trouble yourself with her unanswered questions. It doesn't matter why she's ending it or what she's really thinking. You can't be bothered with that. You're going to be too busy now - okay? Right.

If she comes to you, and initiates conversation, DON'T base your plans around her. You return the ball in your own time.

Now, I know this is going to feel unnatural when you love someone. It's probably going to feel unbearable for a while. But your own relationship with God, as well as the relationship you have with yourself, MUST take priority. For those are the only two relationships you'll ever have that are 100% guaranteed to last for the duration of your life. And also, the two relationships that'll dig you out of a hole like this. Romantic partners can break your heart, but ultimately, it is YOU who is 100% responsible for how you feel.

Okay, over to you. Your first move...

 

[YesMe]

Put all your trust in God, believe me, He will not let you, nor forsake you.

Corinthians 13: " 1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

The words above are describing true love, when you will find it, you will know it, how? Simply, it never fails.

 

[Beautyinsteadofashes]

Okay, I'm just going to offer out some practical advice to you, man to man. I won't ask too many questions (in fact none) about her, because it's quite frankly irrelevant now. As far as you're concerned it's categorically over.

This is where you're going to have to buck up and carry on with your life as if there is no chance of reconciliation - even tell yourself this. Some would say that this is reckless advice, but she needs to see you carrying on, putting yourself first, and chasing down some goals. Why? Because moping about like a neglected puppy shows a complete lack of self respect - which, to tell you the truth, IS everything. That right there is the holy grail, the jackpot and all the marbles. Self respect.

So, don't communicate with her at all. If you feel the urge to reach for the phone and text, DON'T. If you can't stop thinking about her, focus on something POWERFUL - listen to motivational speakers on podcasts, watch business start up videos, meditate, pump iron at the gym, anything. Just make sure it's focused on improving you, changing your way of thinking and opening your mind up to a brand new and exciting chapter of your life. Because this right now is exactly what it is. And as I say to everyone in your position, it's not a break up, it's a break through.

Don't trouble yourself with her unanswered questions. It doesn't matter why she's ending it or what she's really thinking. You can't be bothered with that. You're going to be too busy now - okay? Right.

If she comes to you, and initiates conversation, DON'T base your plans around her. You return the ball in your own time.

Now, I know this is going to feel unnatural when you love someone. It's probably going to feel unbearable for a while. But your own relationship with God, as well as the relationship you have with yourself, MUST take priority. For those are the only two relationships you'll ever have that are 100% guaranteed to last for the duration of your life. And also, the two relationships that'll dig you out of a hole like this. Romantic partners can break your heart, but ultimately, it is YOU who is 100% responsible for how you feel.

Okay, over to you. Your first move...

Very well said reesepiece23. You're very right.

Okay, I'm just going to offer out some practical advice to you, man to man. I won't ask too many questions (in fact none) about her, because it's quite frankly irrelevant now. As far as you're concerned it's categorically over.

This is where you're going to have to buck up and carry on with your life as if there is no chance of reconciliation - even tell yourself this. Some would say that this is reckless advice, but she needs to see you carrying on, putting yourself first, and chasing down some goals. Why? Because moping about like a neglected puppy shows a complete lack of self respect - which, to tell you the truth, IS everything. That right there is the holy grail, the jackpot and all the marbles. Self respect.

So, don't communicate with her at all. If you feel the urge to reach for the phone and text, DON'T. If you can't stop thinking about her, focus on something POWERFUL - listen to motivational speakers on podcasts, watch business start up videos, meditate, pump iron at the gym, anything. Just make sure it's focused on improving you, changing your way of thinking and opening your mind up to a brand new and exciting chapter of your life. Because this right now is exactly what it is. And as I say to everyone in your position, it's not a break up, it's a break through.

Don't trouble yourself with her unanswered questions. It doesn't matter why she's ending it or what she's really thinking. You can't be bothered with that. You're going to be too busy now - okay? Right.

If she comes to you, and initiates conversation, DON'T base your plans around her. You return the ball in your own time.

Now, I know this is going to feel unnatural when you love someone. It's probably going to feel unbearable for a while. But your own relationship with God, as well as the relationship you have with yourself, MUST take priority. For those are the only two relationships you'll ever have that are 100% guaranteed to last for the duration of your life. And also, the two relationships that'll dig you out of a hole like this. Romantic partners can break your heart, but ultimately, it is YOU who is 100% responsible for how you feel.

Okay, over to you. Your first move...

Very well said reesepiece23 you are exactly right. Don't worry dablain, this door is closed so god can open an even better one. If it helps I am in that boat now where I am working on me and my relationship with god. Its important to enjoy this time in your life and use it to grow and learn