My friend being used?

[Ruby Moon]

My very good friend sent me this email about her real life friend, She knows I'm asking about, do you think she is being used? Also, if she's not being used how can her friend get help? I told my friend I think she's being used but I might be wrong.


Remember I told u about hanging out with Erikka-well, I have had to pay for tickets she recieved while taking me home-and I do I hope they are the last ones, btw, but anyway I have had to pay for them because of her die-hard, slave-driver father who basically goes off at the drop of a hat and has been angry lately, according to Erikka. They had gotten into it the other day and her father threw some glass ashtray at her and it hit her in the face, sorta and he had pushed her into a door or something and she hit a doorknob and all this happened while her bf was downstairs in the basement.

and I have had to pay, on account that he wouldn't pay and that if I didn't I couldn't hang with her anymore or whatever...so today she said she got another ticket and I said I wasn't sure I could pay it all right away, since I had only so much left and she said she wanted to "sell her vagina", so to speak to get the other 60 to add to my 60 dollars-because at first I wanted to pay only 60 dollars and have her come up with the rest. First of all, she drives too darn fast, second of all I hate the rules in Chicago. They have cameras to capture fast drivers unawares. UGH

And I practically begged Erikka not to sell her body-so I ended up paying the whole amount of 120. My parents do not know. In the meanwhile, I'll have those CSU checks coming in sometime, since the Financial Aid thing is working and I will make sure they do not find out. I did pay that day and she said her father had said to tell me "Thanks" I'm like darn well better I feel so sorry for Erikka-and she was like: "sex is sex" She said she would actually sell her soul if she had to-in a situation such as this. She got issues yo. She said she would do it with someone she knew...I couldn't let her do it. Almost cired.

 

[Anti Existance]

Ok and how much of Erica's exuses do you actually believe? I can't believe that you fell for her lies, and even if she spoke the truth, you'd be better off to cancel the whole thing. The whole situation says 'RED FLAG' all over it, 9/10 she is just making it up in order not to pay. 9/10 she is not a friend. 9/10 that she is abusing your susceptibility to get the tickets. If you keep falling for these lies, people will start to think your stupid. Although personally i think your very young and don't have any experience in how to avoid people deceiving you.

 

[Ruby Moon]

I know! I didn't fall for her lies, my friend did, and I told my friend she was being used! But I was wondering if I was wrong! The friend I'm talking about is 19, I'm 23. I felt I was to hard on my friend telling her, this other friend is using her.

 

[Akathist]

I think it would be less expensive for your friend to start using taxis to get where she is going.

Further, this friend of hers does not sound like a good friend or someone she needs to be hanging out with. The fact that her friend chooses to drive to fast and break traffic rules then use emotional blackmail to get someone else to pay the consequences has me wondering where this "friendship" is heading.

Lastly, that finanical aid is not meant to be used to pay for speeding tickets. She is going to be running out of money pronto and then what will she do?

 

[BelindaP]

Whether or not the friend is intending to use her, that is what she is doing. On the more innocent side, she could be co-dependent with her friend and enabling her bad behavior. On the less innocent side, her friend is taking her for a very expensive ride.

In either case, she needs to get out of the cycle. If her friend chooses to sell her body, then that is her choice. It isn't your friend's fault.

Personally, I find it very fishy that her father would send thanks for paying the ticket. If he were the abusive ogre that she described, he would have gone off when she got the ticket, regardless of whether she paid it or not.

Of course, this may all end soon anyhow. Once she racks up enough points she will lose her license. After that, tickets won't be a problem any more--assuming that's what the money is really going for. Let's hope your friend doesn't feel the need to bail her out of jail.

 

[Ruby Moon]

the tickets might even be a lie, I don't think my friend ever saw her get the tickets I don't know. My friend didn't give into to much details and was on myspace but isn't talking to me. I show her this thread and I think it upset her, I'm only trying to protect her. My friend can be very very naive.

your right, the girl might of even wrote the letter. this is all fishy, but it made me lose a friend because i try to help her.

 

[BelindaP]

Let's hope it wasn't permanently. She may come around after she has been used long enough.

 

[Ruby Moon]

I just heard from her, she took my advice and is going to drop the friend, I told her to get into some church things to find friends at.

 

[thenewageriseth]

All right y'all listen up. It was me Ruby was referring to. I paid for those fines to get my so-called friend out of trouble. And she has been nice to me ever since I met her and got to know her better. Now what should I do?
I know I should probably avoid going in that car again, unless she decides to drive slow. But what if she asks for money again for something else?
She said she wanted to help me out with my appearance at school-cuz of not enough attention from guys. What do y'all think?

 

[Ruby Moon]

getting attention from the guys isn't important, if you want a make over do it for yourself and not boys.

 

[thenewageriseth]

Whether or not the friend is intending to use her, that is what she is doing. On the more innocent side, she could be co-dependent with her friend and enabling her bad behavior. On the less innocent side, her friend is taking her for a very expensive ride.

I hope it's on the more innocent side, quite frankily.
I don't want to have to get involved anymore. I was afraid that I couldn't see her anymore on account of her father's ruthlessness and bogus attitude.

In either case, she needs to get out of the cycle. If her friend chooses to sell her body, then that is her choice. It isn't your friend's fault.

My cousin said the same thing here.

Personally, I find it very fishy that her father would send thanks for paying the ticket. If he were the abusive ogre that she described, he would have gone off when she got the ticket, regardless of whether she paid it or not.

I was wondering this too. But I did see evidence of where he had thrown something at her face when he got mad at her for the tickets and mad at me for being in the car. She had a red spot under her eye.

Of course, this may all end soon anyhow. Once she racks up enough points she will lose her license. After that, tickets won't be a problem any more--assuming that's what the money is really going for. Let's hope your friend doesn't feel the need to bail her out of jail.

She needs to slow down. Anyway I suppose this is what I get for being nice. My cousin said I did good, but went the wrong way about it.

 

[thenewageriseth]

Ok and how much of Erica's exuses do you actually believe? I can't believe that you fell for her lies, and even if she spoke the truth, you'd be better off to cancel the whole thing. The whole situation says 'RED FLAG' all over it, 9/10 she is just making it up in order not to pay. 9/10 she is not a friend. 9/10 that she is abusing your susceptibility to get the tickets. If you keep falling for these lies, people will start to think your stupid. Although personally i think your very young and don't have any experience in how to avoid people deceiving you.

My cousin went through the same thing when she was younger.
I was wondering if I could trust Erica. Only my friend Ruby Moon, my cousin and my advisor know about this, anyway.
I wouldn't want people to call me stupid. I'm a too-nice person. My dad warned me about that-before this even happened. It's just things like these that make me wish that I could go a world, opposite of the real world, cuz the real world can hurt so much. Right now, I'm deciding what to do about this "friendship"...
I can't just go checking out of this world-it'd hurt a lot of people I know and love (family, friends, etc)...so I guess I'm stuck here... didn't mean to sound like that, but I hate dealing with problems. I like everything to be easy, fun and not too challenging...

 

[thenewageriseth]

Obviously I am stuck here on Earth-so I suppose I may as well make the best of it....what's up with this thread?
Why is it moving slow? I need someone to talk to. I am infuriated now, because I asked my friend could I meet her at her car and she was like: "Sure" and when I went outside, she was nowhere to be found. I think if she had stayed, I would have maybe heard her honk her horn or something. She was with someone else from class. But that still doesn't mean that she could leave. She could have waited. I will have to comfront her about it.

On the flip side, I have to wash and try to manage this horrid hair of mine (horrid because it sweats back to nappy fast) for an event I should have known about a few days ago-were'nt it for Jessica, a friend from OHMC (my old school), I would have not known.

The other girl I am talking about (not Jessica). She needs help. She got issues. She got family issues, she got dependency issues (on various people). She needs some enlightenment.

 

[BelindaP]

What would you like to talk about?

 

[SimpleEmpath]

My very good friend sent me this email about her real life friend, She knows I'm asking about, do you think she is being used? Also, if she's not being used how can her friend get help? I told my friend I think she's being used but I might be wrong.


Remember I told u about hanging out with Erikka-well, I have had to pay for tickets she recieved while taking me home-and I do I hope they are the last ones, btw, but anyway I have had to pay for them because of her die-hard, slave-driver father who basically goes off at the drop of a hat and has been angry lately, according to Erikka. They had gotten into it the other day and her father threw some glass ashtray at her and it hit her in the face, sorta and he had pushed her into a door or something and she hit a doorknob and all this happened while her bf was downstairs in the basement.

and I have had to pay, on account that he wouldn't pay and that if I didn't I couldn't hang with her anymore or whatever...so today she said she got another ticket and I said I wasn't sure I could pay it all right away, since I had only so much left and she said she wanted to "sell her vagina", so to speak to get the other 60 to add to my 60 dollars-because at first I wanted to pay only 60 dollars and have her come up with the rest. First of all, she drives too darn fast, second of all I hate the rules in Chicago. They have cameras to capture fast drivers unawares. UGH

And I practically begged Erikka not to sell her body-so I ended up paying the whole amount of 120. My parents do not know. In the meanwhile, I'll have those CSU checks coming in sometime, since the Financial Aid thing is working and I will make sure they do not find out. I did pay that day and she said her father had said to tell me "Thanks" I'm like darn well better I feel so sorry for Erikka-and she was like: "sex is sex" She said she would actually sell her soul if she had to-in a situation such as this. She got issues yo. She said she would do it with someone she knew...I couldn't let her do it. Almost cired.

I'm not too sure I would use the term "used." If it happens on more than one occasion, then perhaps. Otherwise, she's just being extremely generous to a friend. I mean, when you're making an effort to preserve a friend's virginity, then that's a truly admirable thing to do. Just let your friend know, she can't always be there for her. Erikka has her own problems she needs to confront, and all that your friend can do for her right now is encourage her to do the right thing. It's difficult, trying to stay pure in a corrupt world while still trying to have some fun. But there are better ways to earn money. Maybe not as fast, nor as high-paying, but it's at least honorable. But hey, I'm in no place to judge. I've ranted long enough; basically, your friend isn't necessarily being used until something like this happens again. The only thing she can do is help Erikka through her own struggles as best she can.

Hoping for the best~

 

[Ruby Moon]

My cousin went through the same thing when she was younger.
I was wondering if I could trust Erica. Only my friend Ruby Moon, my cousin and my advisor know about this, anyway.
I wouldn't want people to call me stupid. I'm a too-nice person. My dad warned me about that-before this even happened. It's just things like these that make me wish that I could go a world, opposite of the real world, cuz the real world can hurt so much. Right now, I'm deciding what to do about this "friendship"...
I can't just go checking out of this world-it'd hurt a lot of people I know and love (family, friends, etc)...so I guess I'm stuck here... didn't mean to sound like that, but I hate dealing with problems. I like everything to be easy, fun and not too challenging...

your not stupid, most people don't know they are being used, especially when we want friends so bad, we are friends with people who aren't good for us.

life is problems, we will be dealing with them.


((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

 

[thenewageriseth]

What would you like to talk about?

Sorry about the ranting. I was upset earlier. My "friend" did not wait for me. I don't know why...oh well...

Yes...she does need enlightenment

 

[thenewageriseth]

Alright. Every last one of y'all was right about this u-know-what...she has used me and has tried to con me out of my money. Now I'm wondering why she did that...I've been nothing but nice to this crazy girl. She claims the same, but she used me and she knows it...she had the audacity to call up my house asking my parents for money that she said I owed her for those stinking rides she gave me home. She claimed I owed her cuz she had to pay 500 dollars for tickets she racked up...and she don't have a job to pay for all that money she owes people, etc. She had the doggone audacity to call up my parents...and my mom yelled at her. My dad surprisingly kept his cool...he gave her 200 to keep the peace and shut her up to teach me a lesson, now I gotta pay him back (which I don't mind-cuz he saved my loser goody-goody a**) I was gonna yell into the phone but he told me not to...told me to keep it cool

Anyway..I'm sick and tired of being taken advantage of...some people don't appreciate my kindness and take that for granted. Forget what the Bible says-my dad is right! I WILL NOT LOVE THY NEIGHBOR UNLESS THY NEIGHBOR EARNS IT, BECAUSE, OTHERWISE ALL I JUST MAY GET, IS A BOOT IN DA BEHIND!
And I will not LOVE THY ENEMIES....No more Miss nice girl-somebody talk or diss me-they gonna get it. WORD!

Btw, I told her her p's and q's in an email last night

 

[thenewageriseth]

your not stupid, most people don't know they are being used, especially when we want friends so bad, we are friends with people who aren't good for us.

life is problems, we will be dealing with them.


((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

Thanks I could use a hug instead of ppl telling me I need more "backbone". She's off my list. She made my mother angry.
I'm going to stop being Miss goody two shoes...maybe I'll blast this other h** (I have beef with), the next time I hear her laughing in my general effin vicinity!!
Forget what the New Testament says about it.

 

[Ruby Moon]

Thanks I could use a hug instead of ppl telling me I need more "backbone". She's off my list. She made my mother angry.
I'm going to stop being Miss goody two shoes...maybe I'll blast this other h** (I have beef with), the next time I hear her laughing in my general effin vicinity!!
Forget what the New Testament says about it.

you don't need to stop being a good girl, because you don't want to end up like her. People will do you wrong, its how they are. I was on gaiaonline and this girl accused me of scamming her and even close down her thread, all over a stupid mistake I made, she was wrong and so is this girl, they seem to only care for themselves. We don't need to stop being kind because of that. My sister did the same to my mom, and she is still kind. Kindness is important and is the best even if we are used. In the end they will pay more then us. I'm very very sorry, and hope you fine true friends.