My First Friend

[Gary O']

I'm an incurable dog lover

Wrote a little story about my first;


I’ll Never Forget My First Friend

I was three.
He was a few months.
Neither of us had much to play with….but each other.
We never lacked.
He’d look up at me with complete unwavering trust.
Trying to read my face.
Ears perked up when I spoke.
Wherever I went, he followed.
He rapidly grew, and soon we were face high to each other.
We’d roam the patch of woods up the hill from our place, him guarding my every step, sometimes blocking my way when I got too close to the cliff edge. I didn’t know it at the time.
I’d take my naps nestled into his chest.
He’d lie there, never moving a muscle.

As I grew to boyhood, he remained a part of me, my shadow.
We’d wrestle….he’d let me win.

We’d hunt.

We’d fish.

Not that he took part.
He was no hunting dog.
Just my companion.
We’d share lunch.
He’d listen to my every word, as we sat on the creek bank.

Years passed.
I got very busy, but not so busy that we wouldn’t still roam the woods every so often, even though he had a bit of a time keeping up.

The day came when he just didn’t get up.
I was sixteen.
Mom told me to take him in to the vet.
‘He’ll be able to fix him up.’

I gathered him up and laid him in the passenger’s seat of the pickup, right beside me, and we had one of our conversations while I drove the twenty miles.
It had been awhile.
Too long actually.


I sat on the stool beside the exam table, while the vet did his thing.
Once again my best friend and I were face high to each other.
The vet was talking with my mom.
He handed me the phone.
It was time.
He had to be put to sleep.

OK, I brought him in to get fixed up, and now he’s going to be put down….just like that.


I was told I had to leave the room.

Can't.



The vet did…..something. I don’t recall.



I held my best friend’s face with both hands.

His ears perked up as we had what would be our last conversation, telling him the reality.
Then I just cradled his head, holding it to my chest, not moving a muscle until, feeling his last breath against my heart, he went to sleep.

Even though the wipers were going, I had a hard time seeing through the rain drops on the way back home.





……..I’ll never forget my first friend


also put a few fractured prose to some pics

 

[NerdGirl]

Oh, gosh, what beauty...

...you are so blessed to have so many photos from your childhood! I have so few.

And he was a beautiful boy

 

[Gary O']

...you are so blessed to have so many photos from your childhood! I have so few.

And he was a beautiful boy

The one pic of the boy by the water is from the web somewhere

I did garner some pics after my mother passed away
She was the keeper of things

Yes, it's become a blessing

 

[Monksailor]

I am glad that your parting was that peaceful. The vet I took my dog to must have used a different drug to "put him to sleep." Mine went through conscious pain and anxiety as I futility tried to console him. He looked at me who loved him so with eyes which seem to cry, "Why are you letting them do this to me?" with ears plastered down. When he went down he went into wild convulsions with painful, loud groaning which eventually ended with stillness and periodic jerks and kicks. I hadn't cried uncontrollably like that for decades, since I was a little boy, I think. After the shot they left me alone in the room with Butch. In the wake of the event, a front desk clerk, overhearing my agony through the door on her side brought in a box of tissue. I could not even muster the ability to speak "Thank you" through my heavy sobbing. That was a Good Friday six or seven years ago. I have broken composure and cried 2 or 3 times already sharing this. Put them to a "peaceful sleep" my a__!!! Not my case at all. That is two dogs which I have had to "put to sleep." The first, in my adult years, I loved very much, also, but was too chicken to be with her through the event but I left a flannel shirt that she loved to lay on with her. The agony and pain I experienced from seeing Butch suffer so at my bidding, even though he was an almost 15 yr old Black Lab (a long life for them), is too much. We sure could use a dog around here for company as our grandchildren are so far away but I will never go through that again, even if I just do a drop off as I know what could be going on after I leave. Peaceful sleep , my a__!!!!!!!!!! The person who gave the shot never explained to me what to expect and in fact I went through TWO events as she never told me that there would be 2 shots! BOTH of which there were bad events and after the first was over I thought is was done but NOT! She came in and explained that she wasn't done. She gave the other and quickly left again. I, yet, had to go through the second event which had more groaning and the convulsions and kicking. This was not my regular vet as it was Good Friday and he was off and his desk person sent me to this Vet out in the country by the Comm College.

You have a good hand at prose my friend. You brought to mind my own experiences with dogs. I grew up in an abusively hostile home with seclusion and imprisonment. My ONLY friend was my first dog, a wild dog from the woods who followed me home after the bus dropped me off one day after school (we lived way out in the country (dirt road country) in a dilapidated, 175 yr old farm house with rats and air blowing through the walls and no light switches, a twist button light on a music stand, with no neighbors and 6 mi from a single blinking yellow light village.) We became good friends. He was a scrappy Brittany Spaniel/Border Collie mix, I think, maybe with a little Beagle, too. My safe place came to be the woods and stream with Tippy; probably why I loved being in the field in the Army and why I've found so much peace in the woods all my life, mid-60's, now. We were in an abandoned farm house still surrounded by hundreds of acres of farmed land with a woods way out back. He saved my life one day, but that is another story. Eventually, my survival mandated that I leave that place and Tippy to the woods all alone, again; both.

 

[Monksailor]

I share your memories, only, Tippy was my first friend in the later half of my childhood which started after my mother's death and a wife-beating, child-beating alcoholic was allowed to take reign over his estranged (hostile divorce 6 nos earlier) children and relocate to another part of the country. Tippy and I were buddies like you two. I can fully and heartfully relate.

 

[NerdGirl]

I am glad that your parting was that peaceful. The vet I took my dog to must have used a different drug to "put him to sleep." Mine went through conscious pain and anxiety as I futility tried to console him. He looked at me who loved him so with eyes which seem to cry, "Why are you letting them do this to me?" with ears plastered down. When he went down he went into wild convulsions with painful, loud groaning which eventually ended with stillness and periodic jerks and kicks. I hadn't cried uncontrollably like that for decades, since I was a little boy, I think. After the shot they left me alone in the room with Butch. In the wake of the event, a front desk clerk, overhearing my agony through the door on her side brought in a box of tissue. I could not even muster the ability to speak "Thank you" through my heavy sobbing. That was a Good Friday six or seven years ago. I have broken composure and cried 2 or 3 times already sharing this. Put them to a "peaceful sleep" my a__!!! Not my case at all. That is two dogs which I have had to "put to sleep." The first I loved very much, also, but was too chicken to be with her through the event but I left a flannel shirt that she loved to lay on with her. The agony and pain I experienced from seeing Butch suffer so at my bidding, even though he was an almost 15 yr old Black Lab (a long life for them), is too much. We sure could use a dog around here for company as our grandchildren are so far away but I will never go through that again, even if I just do a drop off as I know what could be going on after I leave. Peaceful sleep , my a__!!!!!!!!!! The person who gave the shot never explained to me what to expect and in fact I went through TWO events as she never told me that there would be 2 shots! BOTH of which there were bad events and after the first was over I thought is was done but NOT! She came in and explained that she wasn't done. She gave the other and quickly left again. I, yet, had to go through the second event which had more groaning and the convulsions and kicking. This was not my regular vet as it was Good Friday and he was off and his desk person sent me to this Vet out in the country by the Comm College.

I am so terribly sorry to hear about this! Having had to say goodbye to too many pets throughout my life, I can only tell you that this is not a normal or proper procedure for euthanasia. I can't guess what this vet did wrong, but that is absolutely not how a routine euthanasia procedure goes. When done properly, the animal is comfortable, peaceful, there is no pain, and they simply go to "sleep" in your arms without any distress. Again, I am so, so sorry. I can only imagine what a traumatic thing that was to endure *hugs*.

 

[Monksailor]

Butch was such a lovable, faithful, and loyal friend. He did not deserve to die that way. I believe that the Lord will, or has, taken care of this if what you say is true, Nerd Girl.

 

[NerdGirl]

Butch was such a lovable, faithful, and loyal friend. He did not deserve to die that way. I believe that the Lord will, or has, taken care of this if what you say is true, Nerd Girl.

I hope it is some comfort to you now, to know that he is at peace and will never suffer again!

 

[Gary O']

Mine went through conscious pain and anxiety as I futility tried to console him.

That, sir, is a horrific tale

No animal, wild or pet should go thru that

 

[Monksailor]

It would have been a LOT quicker and humane if I had taken Butch out into the woods on our "last" venture together with a shotgun and shovel. But I just could not do that but now knowing what I do, that would be a considerable option, if I did ever get another pet.

 

[Gary O']

It would have been a LOT quicker and humane if I had taken Butch out into the woods on our "last" venture together with a shotgun and shovel. But I just could not do that but now knowing what I do, that would be a considerable option, if I did ever get another pet.

I was going to mention that, but considered your present feelings

It's a very tough thing to down a pet

I've done it, just to put the little guy out of his agony
Still hard

 

[Monksailor]

That, sir, is a horrific tale

No animal, wild or pet should go thru that

Yes, but your wonderful prose about your "first friend" is excellent. I am sorry for side tracking but your prose brought it to eruption. I love dogs also and have wonderful memories of their friendship and loyalty.

 

[Gary O']

I am sorry for side tracking but your prose brought it to eruption.

Y'know, my intent, when writing, is always to bring forth memories for the reader.
The down side, is what you recalled.
But.....that's real life
Not all is good
But, I thank you for being able to relate

Hope, one day, you can find it within yourself for another

'Til then...keep the fire, my brother

 

[Monksailor]

We recently returned from a long trip to southern USA where my son and family live, for a Christmas together as we regularly do. It was extremely difficult for me this time as we had decided to start using a motel and stop imposing upon their very different lifestyle and also making the children sleep on air mattresses in the parent bdrm. Tensions usually seem to develop after we are three about three days. Their diet is very different from ours and we need to adhere to ours in order to be around longer, my wife and I have some "ol' people" body issues, I use a CPAP, and there is a couple of emotional baggage issues and we just need our ALONE time. We fear that great offense was taken due to our change to a motel even though I explained it out with some of what is here. I was treated VERY coolly by all there this time and I was VERY glad to have their dog, a 6-7 mo old Labrador/ poodle mix supposedly but now it appears to be a wired-hair something/Lab mix, anyway he is a very loving and loyal dog, fondly remember me. That dog made my time there tolerable. I ended up spending a lot of time alone with him. The day after we got back I instinctively reached over to pet him with my foot as usual and was abruptly reminded I was home now as I realized it was my boots.

 

[Gary O']

The day after we got back I instinctively reached over to pet him with my foot as usual and was abruptly reminded I was home now as I realized it was my boots.

Heh...you remind me of me

 

[NerdGirl]

We recently returned from a long trip to southern USA where my son and family live, for a Christmas together as we regularly do. It was extremely difficult for me this time as we had decided to start using a motel and stop imposing upon their very different lifestyle and also making the children sleep on air mattresses in the parent bdrm. Tensions usually seem to develop after we are three about three days. Their diet is very different from ours and we need to adhere to ours in order to be around longer, my wife and I have some "ol' people" body issues, I use a CPAP, and there is a couple of emotional baggage issues and we just need our ALONE time. We fear that great offense was taken due to our change to a motel even though I explained it out with some of what is here. I was treated VERY coolly by all there this time and I was VERY glad to have their dog, a 6-7 mo old Labrador/ poodle mix supposedly but now it appears to be a wired-hair something/Lab mix, anyway he is a very loving and loyal dog, fondly remember me. That dog made my time there tolerable. I ended up spending a lot of time alone with him. The day after we got back I instinctively reached over to pet him with my foot as usual and was abruptly reminded I was home now as I realized it was my boots.

I am sorry for the less-than-warm experience you had. It's hard for me to fathom being so inconsiderate and ungracious towards one's elders. But I'm glad you made a friend in their dog, at least Is it perhaps time to consider adopting one for yourself?

 

[Monksailor]

We had made it a point to share Christmas with them in their home down there since before both children were born, since 07, I believe. The oldest child is 9. So, even though I tried to prepare them for this this summer it seems that they just cannot accept it, easily, anyway. Hopefully, if I can continue to love and care for them they will see nothing has changed except our location for sleeping and eating bkfst and clearly they should also feel in themselves reduced tension. One of them has the idea that hospitality is to continue with status quo and if the the quests do not or cannot eat what is prepared for the hosting family, they can just deal with it, and other things like that. I did not teach that type of hospitality to my children, at all. The kids are allowed to regularly scream at a very high volume and pitch (6 & 9 yrs old) giving me an instant splitting headache, also. We both are given headaches from that, but addressing such always leads to the children being defended, excused, or otherwise enabled. We just need a break from stuff for a few hours of wake time and the kids are getting older and bigger for sleeping on small air mattresses and we DO have ol' people stuff we'd rather keep private.

 

[NerdGirl]

We had made it a point to share Christmas with them in their home down there since before both children were born, since 07, I believe. The oldest child is 9. So, even though I tried to prepare them for this this summer it seems that they just cannot accept it, easily, anyway. Hopefully, if I can continue to love and care for them they will see nothing has changed except our location for sleeping and eating bkfst and clearly they should also feel in themselves reduced tension. One of them has the idea that hospitality is to continue with status quo and if the the quests do not or cannot eat what is prepared for the hosting family, they can just deal with it, and other things like that. I did not teach that type of hospitality to my children, at all. The kids are allowed to regularly scream at a very high volume and pitch (6 & 9 yrs old) giving me an instant splitting headache, also. We both are given headaches from that, but addressing such always leads to the children being defended, excused, or otherwise enabled. We just need a break from stuff for a few hours of wake time and the kids are getting older and bigger for sleeping on small air mattresses and we DO have ol' people stuff we'd rather keep private.

Sounds like a rather closed mind mentality that you're dealing with, from your children. I'm sorry to hear it. Any decent host puts the comfort and needs of their guest first.

 

[Monksailor]

Sounds like a rather closed mind mentality that you're dealing with, from your children. I'm sorry to hear it. Any decent host puts the comfort and needs of their guest first.

Before she died when I was a child, that is what my mother taught us. She went to great lengths to accommodate to our guests. That is why and how I remember it and what I and my wife taught our children. There is VERY little I remember about my mother.

 

[Heavenhome]

I am glad that your parting was that peaceful. The vet I took my dog to must have used a different drug to "put him to sleep." Mine went through conscious pain and anxiety as I futility tried to console him. He looked at me who loved him so with eyes which seem to cry, "Why are you letting them do this to me?" with ears plastered down. When he went down he went into wild convulsions with painful, loud groaning which eventually ended with stillness and periodic jerks and kicks. I hadn't cried uncontrollably like that for decades, since I was a little boy, I think. After the shot they left me alone in the room with Butch. In the wake of the event, a front desk clerk, overhearing my agony through the door on her side brought in a box of tissue. I could not even muster the ability to speak "Thank you" through my heavy sobbing. That was a Good Friday six or seven years ago. I have broken composure and cried 2 or 3 times already sharing this. Put them to a "peaceful sleep" my a__!!! Not my case at all. That is two dogs which I have had to "put to sleep." The first, in my adult years, I loved very much, also, but was too chicken to be with her through the event but I left a flannel shirt that she loved to lay on with her. The agony and pain I experienced from seeing Butch suffer so at my bidding, even though he was an almost 15 yr old Black Lab (a long life for them), is too much. We sure could use a dog around here for company as our grandchildren are so far away but I will never go through that again, even if I just do a drop off as I know what could be going on after I leave. Peaceful sleep , my a__!!!!!!!!!! The person who gave the shot never explained to me what to expect and in fact I went through TWO events as she never told me that there would be 2 shots! BOTH of which there were bad events and after the first was over I thought is was done but NOT! She came in and explained that she wasn't done. She gave the other and quickly left again. I, yet, had to go through the second event which had more groaning and the convulsions and kicking. This was not my regular vet as it was Good Friday and he was off and his desk person sent me to this Vet out in the country by the Comm College.

You have a good hand at prose my friend. You brought to mind my own experiences with dogs. I grew up in an abusively hostile home with seclusion and imprisonment. My ONLY friend was my first dog, a wild dog from the woods who followed me home after the bus dropped me off one day after school (we lived way out in the country (dirt road country) in a dilapidated, 175 yr old farm house with rats and air blowing through the walls and no light switches, a twist button light on a music stand, with no neighbors and 6 mi from a single blinking yellow light village.) We became good friends. He was a scrappy Brittany Spaniel/Border Collie mix, I think, maybe with a little Beagle, too. My safe place came to be the woods and stream with Tippy; probably why I loved being in the field in the Army and why I've found so much peace in the woods all my life, mid-60's, now. We were in an abandoned farm house still surrounded by hundreds of acres of farmed land with a woods way out back. He saved my life one day, but that is another story. Eventually, my survival mandated that I leave that place and Tippy to the woods all alone, again; both.