Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
Definitely try to catch up on some rest. It will help you with everything as far as getting settled in a new routine.It went smoother than expected but I'm so tired after getting probably only 1 hour sleep last night. Yet I tried taking a nap and couldn't fall asleep for the life of me. I'm going mental with fatigue. There are a couple of new problems though
There is something that I'm totally blank on what to do nextDefinitely try to catch up on some rest. It will help you with everything as far as getting settled in a new routine.
In a nutshell:Been praying for you today LB. I hope things went better than expected.
My dad died 42 years ago and it hasn't all the way gone away. Mostly, but there are still moments. That's not abnormal. It just takes time. But we never forget, and that maybe just as well.Believe it or not LB, what you are going through is pretty much what we all go through with grief. It’s not fun but little by little you’ll find yourself being able to do things without feeling raw. It takes about a year to get over the really hardcore grief.
I'm so sorry that I haven't kept up on what is happening. I'll be praying for you the rest of the day. Grace and peace be with you. Accept the consolation that God has for you, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Stand in that grace.In a nutshell:
- My dad looked "OK" but he did kind of look plastic (although not as scary as he did in the hospital as he was dying), but I should have expected that sort of thing. He actually looked dignified nonetheless. I stayed with him for almost an hour before the funeral started.
- The guests I expected, came, but a male friend of the person who couldn't come, came, and he was the RCIA instructor and I was so shocked to see him. The problem is, he reached out to hug me and my dad's relatives saw that and I think they didn't look very favorably on it, but they didn't say anything. The male relative never talked to me or even looked in my direction until very slightly, when he was talking to my brother about it being ok for us to visit his house whenever we wanted. The female relative did not treat me awkwardly but I still felt awkward in front of her for what the RCIA guy did. What he did was not scandalous I suppose but still. I'm glad that the female relative didn't ask who he was.
- The imam came and asked for a couple people to lead the prayer - only the male relatives did (that one male relative and then my brother). I didn't go up and I was worried that I would be perceived funny but then again, the female relative did not go up either, and no one talked to me about why I didn't do it, so ok. However, I think my brother is playing a dangerous game by faking being Muslim. He did that today during the prayer, sort of (although it was only the imam reciting the prayer - the male relative and my brother just waved their hands a certain way a couple of times).
- If it looks like I'm missing anything keep in mind that my head is whacked, totally.
I think for normal people it does. For me, I seriously wonder if it is going to be different. Most people, when they lose a parent or two, are already parents and may not have lost their aunts and uncles or cousins yet. That was my mom, for example. My grandpa died in 1989, but my mom was already raising me and still had a couple of uncles/aunts/cousins around. My dad still had some relatives to fall back on. When my mom's grandparents died, her parents were already parents to my mom, etc. They already had gone through the normal course of life when their previous generations passed, so they still had a semblance of stability. I do not have the proper means of family support like my mom and dad did when their loved ones passed. I am pretty much empty, with "nothing" left unless I fake being Muslim in front of any relatives who do pledge support. That is what will kill meIt just takes time.
Well, it's a long thread, lol and a LOT has been going on in it.I'm so sorry that I haven't kept up on what is happening. I'll be praying for you the rest of the day. Grace and peace be with you. Accept the consolation that God has for you, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Stand in that grace.
You're an orphan. But you are a beloved child of God the Father, Jesus is your loving brother, and the Holy Spirit is your counselor and dwells within you. You are not alone. Not at all.I think for normal people it does. For me, I seriously wonder if it is going to be different. Most people, when they lose a parent or two, are already parents and may not have lost their aunts and uncles or cousins yet. That was my mom, for example. My grandpa died in 1989, but my mom was already raising me and still had a couple of uncles/aunts/cousins around. My dad still had some relatives to fall back on. When my mom's grandparents died, her parents were already parents to my mom, etc. They already had gone through the normal course of life when their previous generations passed, so they still had a semblance of stability. I do not have the proper means of family support like my mom and dad did when their loved ones passed. I am pretty much empty, with "nothing" left unless I fake being Muslim in front of any relatives who do pledge support. That is what will kill me
I literally thank God for the two people from church who came to the funeral today but see, they've already got their families in case someone dies. I'm a "deviant." (I don't like to use that term)
Indeed. Wow!Well, it's a long thread, lol and a LOT has been going on in it.
My mom and also my daddy looked "plastic" it's normal, their spirit is gone so only the "shell" is left.In a nutshell:
- My dad looked "OK" but he did kind of look plastic (although not as scary as he did in the hospital as he was dying), but I should have expected that sort of thing. He actually looked dignified nonetheless. I stayed with him for almost an hour before the funeral started.
- The guests I expected, came, but a male friend of the person who couldn't come, came, and he was the RCIA instructor and I was so shocked to see him. The problem is, he reached out to hug me and my dad's relatives saw that and I think they didn't look very favorably on it, but they didn't say anything. The male relative never talked to me or even looked in my direction until very slightly, when he was talking to my brother about it being ok for us to visit his house whenever we wanted. The female relative did not treat me awkwardly but I still felt awkward in front of her for what the RCIA guy did. What he did was not scandalous I suppose but still. I'm glad that the female relative didn't ask who he was.
- The imam came and asked for a couple people to lead the prayer - only the male relatives did (that one male relative and then my brother). I didn't go up and I was worried that I would be perceived funny but then again, the female relative did not go up either, and no one talked to me about why I didn't do it, so ok. However, I think my brother is playing a dangerous game by faking being Muslim. He did that today during the prayer, sort of (although it was only the imam reciting the prayer - the male relative and my brother just waved their hands a certain way a couple of times).
- If it looks like I'm missing anything keep in mind that my head is whacked, totally.
I thought Christian women are expected to wear scarves when they visit Muslim countries. That doesn’t apply to having to wear them during Muslim funerals in the USA?I wouldn't do anything except the bare minimum, from what I read in the article, if the woman is NOT Muslim, she does NOT have to wear a scarf, I sure wouldn't.
You’re right about the shell only being left. I saw that with my dad at the hospital shortly after he died. My moms casket was closed.My mom and also my daddy looked "plastic" it's normal, their spirit is gone so only the "shell" is left.
As to the RCIA gentleman, I think that's wonderful. It irritates me that you are so darned worried about what those relatives will think because he hugged you. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, STOP worrying about those confounded relatives and STOP hiding your faith. The Lord says that those who deny Him in public, He will deny in heaven.
It appears you were more worried about what the relatives would think than about your dad and funeral. DO NOT LET THEM RULE YOUR LIFE.
I am glad it basically went smoothly, now, get rest.
I’m happy for you that a couple people from church ame to the funeral. That should give you some comfort.I think for normal people it does. For me, I seriously wonder if it is going to be different. Most people, when they lose a parent or two, are already parents and may not have lost their aunts and uncles or cousins yet. That was my mom, for example. My grandpa died in 1989, but my mom was already raising me and still had a couple of uncles/aunts/cousins around. My dad still had some relatives to fall back on. When my mom's grandparents died, her parents were already parents to my mom, etc. They already had gone through the normal course of life when their previous generations passed, so they still had a semblance of stability. I do not have the proper means of family support like my mom and dad did when their loved ones passed. I am pretty much empty, with "nothing" left unless I fake being Muslim in front of any relatives who do pledge support. That is what will kill me
I literally thank God for the two people from church who came to the funeral today but see, they've already got their families in case someone dies. I'm a "deviant." (I don't like to use that term)
Fortunately, I was not in a position where I was put on the spot. I fully expected this but thankfully it did not happen since only the male relatives were expected to join in on the prayer.My mom and also my daddy looked "plastic" it's normal, their spirit is gone so only the "shell" is left.
As to the RCIA gentleman, I think that's wonderful. It irritates me that you are so darned worried about what those relatives will think because he hugged you. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, STOP worrying about those confounded relatives and STOP hiding your faith. The Lord says that those who deny Him in public, He will deny in heaven.
It appears you were more worried about what the relatives would think than about your dad and funeral. DO NOT LET THEM RULE YOUR LIFE.
I am glad it basically went smoothly, now, get rest.
What irritates me is how much of a darned scandal it supposedly is. What a miserable life. I don't initiate hugs to married men but as an act of courtesy I reciprocated his gesture as platonically as possible. To be honest, I think he's attracted to me even though he's married, but I don't give him any idea that I sense that about him.It irritates me that you are so darned worried about what those relatives will think because he hugged you.
Look I would be irritated too if I were you. Fortunately, nothing happened today such that any bombshell had to be dropped. However, I was fully expecting it 100% today.My mom and also my daddy looked "plastic" it's normal, their spirit is gone so only the "shell" is left.
As to the RCIA gentleman, I think that's wonderful. It irritates me that you are so darned worried about what those relatives will think because he hugged you. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, STOP worrying about those confounded relatives and STOP hiding your faith. The Lord says that those who deny Him in public, He will deny in heaven.
It appears you were more worried about what the relatives would think than about your dad and funeral. DO NOT LET THEM RULE YOUR LIFE.
I am glad it basically went smoothly, now, get rest.
An article I read said it wasn't necessary if you were not MuslimI thought Christian women are expected to wear scarves when they visit Muslim countries. That doesn’t apply to having to wear them during Muslim funerals in the USA?
I thought Christian women are expected to wear scarves when they visit Muslim countries. That doesn’t apply to having to wear them during Muslim funerals in the USA?
You mean the hijab? I think it depends, AFAIK. Indeed, some Christians in the Middle East wear the hijab as well as other religious minorities.I thought Christian women are expected to wear scarves when they visit Muslim countries. That doesn’t apply to having to wear them during Muslim funerals in the USA?
I was telling Steve about this and he said there was nothing wrong with the man giving you a hug, married or not, it was a gesture of comfort and we both think it was very nice of him to do so and to show up for the funeral, I hope you said "thank you" to him after it was over.What irritates me is how much of a darned scandal it supposedly is. What a miserable life. I don't initiate hugs to married men but as an act of courtesy I reciprocated his gesture as platonically as possible. To be honest, I think he's attracted to me even though he's married, but I don't give him any idea that I sense that about him.
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?