my cousin

[brokenbeliever]

hi,
i just want to say i'm so glad there is a place for ppl to discuss this. i have other issues that i'm dealing with myself, but i'm here because of my cousin. she is 17 and has been cutting for about a year that i know of. it just makes me so sad and i don't really know much about this behavior. but as i read a couple of threads i am realizing that it's not much different than say an eating disorder or doing drugs or sexual addictions or whatever. it's just that we all deal with our feelings differently but it seems the underlying causes are similar. does that seem like a correct understanding or am i getting it all wrong? anyway, i'm concerned about my cousin because i feel her parents are in denial about it. i'm not close to her but my mom sees her occasionally and asked me to pray, which i am. is there anything my mom can do, seeing how she is closer to the situation? my mom has expressed to my cousins dad that she is concerned and hopes that my cousin will get help. but it doesn't seem like my uncle is listening to my mom. i even told my uncle i was concerned and hoped my cousin was getting help and he responded very defensively and said the problem was taken care of. i can only hope that somehow my cousin will reach out and try to get help. do you find that most ppl get tired of this and finally reach out for help? any encouragement about this would be greatly appreciated.

 

[berry2000]

hi,
i just want to say i'm so glad there is a place for ppl to discuss this. i have other issues that i'm dealing with myself, but i'm here because of my cousin. she is 17 and has been cutting for about a year that i know of. it just makes me so sad and i don't really know much about this behavior. but as i read a couple of threads i am realizing that it's not much different than say an eating disorder or doing drugs or sexual addictions or whatever. it's just that we all deal with our feelings differently but it seems the underlying causes are similar. does that seem like a correct understanding or am i getting it all wrong? anyway, i'm concerned about my cousin because i feel her parents are in denial about it. i'm not close to her but my mom sees her occasionally and asked me to pray, which i am. is there anything my mom can do, seeing how she is closer to the situation? my mom has expressed to my cousins dad that she is concerned and hopes that my cousin will get help. but it doesn't seem like my uncle is listening to my mom. i even told my uncle i was concerned and hoped my cousin was getting help and he responded very defensively and said the problem was taken care of. i can only hope that somehow my cousin will reach out and try to get help. do you find that most ppl get tired of this and finally reach out for help? any encouragement about this would be greatly appreciated.

Hi there. I'm not an expert on this by any means but have been struggle with cutting myself for 8 years now. I know that is a long time so I do know a thing or two about it. The main advice I can offer is from my own experience and that is the best thing/support is a safe place for the person to talk about his/her feelings. I cut when I feel like there is no safe place for me to express how i feel about something or that my feelings are wrong or somehow invalid. Your cousin really should be talking to a trained professional who can help her sort through her feelings and find alternative ways to deal with stress/rejection/anxiety/disaapointment/sadness or whatever emtion is triggering these urges.

Hope that is somewhat helpful.
Prayers for you cousin.
Remember an open ear and nonjudgemental response will be the most support.

 

[bfly]

This is really sad. Sometime parents just can't handle something that they don't understand. You know so many of us have the atitude, oh, it just life, get over it. Too many times parents find out too late, it wasn't just life, it was something deep down inside and not something that should be ignored.

It is something that has an unlying cause and different people do have different ways of dealing with their indivual way of coping.

The bystander, like me and you can only pray that God will intervene and carry these victims until they can gain the strength they need to be overcomer.

We just need to pray and ask God to open the eyes of the parents so they will ask for understanding and get the right kind of help for their child.

I pray the child will reach out for help and find a place like thie forum where she can talk with others that are in the same situation.

God bless you and keep praying.