My biting baby

[Kristen]

My almost 10 month old baby (Jodi) has a severe problem with biting. Whenever I or anyone holds her we get bit BAD!... I have the bruises to prove it. I don't know what to do cause my other children never bit like this. It's not cause of teething (I don't think) cause she thinks it's funny. Anyone else have this problem? Any ideas of what I can do?... ...

 

[mesue]

Okay, please don't take this the wrong way. I had 2 children that bit. They seemed to get so excited about something that they would try to take a chunk out of my shoulder. After the 2nd bruise, it was no longer cute. The 3rd time I said in a very stern voice "No biting!" The 4th time I took her finger with my front teeth and held it there for a second or two. It wasn't really a bite but enough pressure was there to cause slight discomfort. When I let go I said "No biting. Next time it will hurt." I did this for both my biters. I never had to do it a second time. I don't think they realize how much it hurts, or could hurt.
Please do not do this in anger as you will hurt the child.
Mine are 11 & 14 and read this and thought they "were really gross" for biting people, but they don't remember ever doing it.

 

[Judilyn]

I say that because I have had my share of dealing with biters. I am a director for a large early childhood center and we have had our share of biters. Baby's will bite for so many different reasons and they will bite for teething. But considering that your baby laughs after the bite I would bet that it's being done out of wanting to experience cause and effect.

My first suggestion would be to get your baby a few cuase and effect toys. One example would be a busy box, or the type of box where they press a button, or flip a switch and a toy pops up. Those annoying loud push and pop toys are great as well as tops and Jack in the Boxes.

When your little one bites put her down and with a firm voice say "No Biting!!!" but do not go on and on about it. Then offer her one of these types of toys.

I have a lot of other ideas, If I can be of any more help please let me know.

Oh and by the way, for my own chldren I did have to resort to the biting them back method but it was only as a last resort. They were older but it did finally nip it. But I have seen other methods work too.

Blessings
EJ

 

[Beckijhn]

I've never bit my kids back. I guess I never thought about it.

Generally I yelled really loud (unintentionally) and tapped their cheek. I am totally against hitting anywhere but the butt, and I'm not talking about slapping, but tapping a scared child (from my yelling) on the cheek and then saying (with a mad look - to make a point) "no, that's not nice" and putting the kid down did the trick.

Tapping would be using my first two finger tips to tap them on the cheek so they would look at me.

I didn't pick them back up for a while at that point. I did this once with my oldest, two or three times with my second, and once with my third.

 

[Blessed75]

well, I had a similiar problem with my son who is now 18 months old but when he was about that age, he was into that too and finally one day I bit him back and he never did it again. My peditrician wasn't too happy with my method but he didnt' have a bruise on his arm now did he? I tried different methods too before I resorted to that and it killed me to do it but I am so glad that I did b/c it stopped. I guess all children are different and what works for one child may not work for another ya know? Good luck hon!

 

[KelsayDL]

Gotta be stern.

I never had to bite one of my kids to teach them, I was lucky. My son never really bit anyways, but my daughter is just now getting over that stage, completely.

She bit me twice, and as has been said, you have to be stern and let them know, NO BITING! Without yelling and screaming.

My daughter understands not to bite me, or grandma. But when I'm away, she thinks it's okay to bite mom, or she did. She hasn't bitten anyone in weeks.

 

[BeanMak]

my oldest when he was 2 or 3 bit his brother in anger- which is different than babies biting at 10-12 months- I put soap in his mouth (touched the bar to his tongue) and he never did it again.

 

[HesMyAll]

Where I live it is a crime to bite a person whether they are a small child or not. They call it child abuse and put people in jail for it.
The Bible says that parents should spank their children if they do wrong but I have read it several times and still can't find where it says to bite them.

 

[Judilyn]

IMHO

No one that has posted yet has said anything about abusing their child. Biting their child back was done in a way that it was just hard enough to show that it does not feel good. Now if they left buises and open skin, that would be classified as child abuse.

I have been a foster mom for years, I also manage a large child care facility that is licensed by Department of Children and Family Services. I have had my share of experience dealing with child abuse investigators. What the individuals have described above would be an unfounded complaint of child abuse if done by a parent. We could not use this method in our center.

 

[Blessed75]

IMHO

No one that has posted yet has said anything about abusing their child. Biting their child back was done in a way that it was just hard enough to show that it does not feel good. Now if they left buises and open skin, that would be classified as child abuse.

I have been a foster mom for years, I also manage a large child care facility that is licensed by Department of Children and Family Services. I have had my share of experience dealing with child abuse investigators. What the individuals have described above would be an unfounded complaint of child abuse if done by a parent. We could not use this method in our center.

Thanks Erin-Joy for clarifying. I was shocked that a comment about "abuse" was even brought up for Pete's sake. I would never do anything to abuse my child, and I HIGHLY RESENT the comment about it being against the law. Biting my child to show him that it doesn't feel too good and bruising and tearing the skin ARE two totally different things. My mother was a social worker as well and I'm highly familiar with the laws and oh too familiar with hearing the awful child abuse cases she had to handle.

 

[HesMyAll]

I was simply pointing out that it is considered a crime...at least where I live and the fact is that if a parent were to "bite" their child even if it did not leave a mark, the authorities would remove that child from the home.

 

[desi]

I was simply pointing out that it is considered a crime...at least where I live and the fact is that if a parent were to "bite" their child even if it did not leave a mark, the authorities would remove that child from the home.

Proverbs mentions disciplining your son but does not say how, except for don't spare the rod. I think a soft bite is more human than using a rod on a young child but I could be wrong. My wife has done the bite back thing with our children and it works, she does not harm them as it is enough to scare them.

 

[Beckijhn]

Hesmyall - I think I can understand where you're coming from, not being a parent would make it sound awful. In fact I believe in spanking but still feel bad when someones kid gets swatted (even if I'm thinking "someone deal with that kid" up to that point) but I ask this - is this actually a statute or is this something that you think is abuse?

My best girlfriend is a social worker and I've not ever heard this before - I think she did the bite thing too, about 15 years ago.

None of what was mentioned here would even remotely be considered abuse or lead to removal of a child from the home unless there was more to the story or a social worker with an ax to grind.

I would be interested to know the wording of the statute that makes this qualify as child abuse.

 

[HesMyAll]

While I don't think a soft bite would actually qualify as being abusive, I do not think it is ever alright to bite a child. I just think it is barbaric. I have raised four children and found that telling them very sternly worked just fine. And if it didn't, a swat to the bottom got the point across.
Would those who "bite" their baby now do it if Jesus was standing right there watching?

 

[Judilyn]

IF Jesus were standing right there I believe that His sweetness would surround us. The room would be so calm and so peaceful that biting would not be a problem anyway. I would hand my child to him since he created him/her anyway, knows them inside and out and loves them even more than I do. And, because he is "Jesus" his sweet touch would be all that is needed to get my child to quit biting

Anyway, as I have said earlier biting can be a very difficult thing to deal with. I have seen kids bite so often and so fierce that they draw blood. I have had to ask parents to take children out of our center due to it. I can can tell you that if we could I blieve that biting the child back would have
done a world of good to help them see tha pain they are inflicting upon others.

When we are dealing with a biting child at our center we do everything we can to help the child stop. We had 1 little one (16 months old) who bit everyday, sometimes 10 times a day. Nothing we did helped. I once sent another child home that had been bitten 4 times in the face in 1 day by this child. You can bet that her parents were outraged, and rightly so. And you can bet that the first thing out of their mouths was Why can't you bite this child back to show him how much this hurts?

Very often the children have no siblings so biting does not occur at home. But when it does and parents get the opportunity to bite back it stops this very inappropriate behavior.

 

[Risen Tree]

I had this problem when I was little. Every time I would wrestle my dad and he started to beat me, I got him back by biting him. Then, one day, he decided that he had enough of it. So he nibbled on my toe. It didn't hurt, but it shocked the heck out of me. I was baffled at the time. My own dad has--BIT ME!

And guess what. I never did it again.

()

 

[HesMyAll]

I had this problem when I was little. Every time I would wrestle my dad and he started to beat me, I got him back by biting him. Then, one day, he decided that he had enough of it. So he nibbled on my toe. It didn't hurt, but it shocked the heck out of me. I was baffled at the time. My own dad has--BIT ME!

And guess what. I never did it again.

()

A swift swat to the bottom would probably have shocked you equally as well.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

I confess that I'm going through this right now with my baby (she's 11 months now). It seems like the only thing that seems to be working is firmly telling her that she is hurting mommy. She only bit my husband once and he'd firmly said no - she hasn't bitten him since. It's taking a little longer with me

We both talked about the 'biting' method (i.e. placing her finger between our teeth as opposed to chomping down on her finger) and we were both in agreement that she'd consider it a game. She laughs whenever she bites me and we'd figured that because we wouldn't hurt her it would be like a game of tennis.

Most of all, I couldn't "bite" her because I think she's a dentist in the making Every opportunity she gets, she lets out a big squeal, grabs my jaw to yank it open and then she quietly examines my teeth whilst whispering to herself. So willingly putting my mouth anywhere near her hands is asking for trouble for me

God bless

 

[goodgirl]

I think the biting thing works pretty well at the baby age. Usually if a baby is biting or pulling hair, it's just testing things out. It doesn't understand that it hurts. But they do understand that it hurts them... so a little nip or hair tug can get the point across. I've never had to do it more than twice, and neither time did the kid even cry... They just look like, "Wha -- I don't think I'll do THAT again!"

I think the nip/hair tug thing is really more humane than spanking or acting angry. The baby (I'm not talking toddlers biting) doesn't understand it is doing something wrong, so why punish it? They do get the "bad baby!" vibes and that hurts, too.

 

[HesMyAll]

A stern voice would get the "bad baby" vibe across without resorting to using teeth.