For years I've had a chip on my shoulder as some would say. Due to being booted from the army for being Bipolar and due to other personal issues that had added up over the years. For years I've been extremely racist to the point of agreeing with the KKK and Neo-Nazi's. I had so much hate in my heart for every other race that wasn't white. I called slurs to people's faces, yelled "Sieg Hiel" and "Hail Hitler" to people in grocery stores, giving the Nazi salute in public places. I wore combat boots with fatigues and metal shirts, glaring at any "inferior" that would cross my path. I believed in the 14 words and a white nation for all. Heck I even hated my own race near the end! If you called me a racist I would say "I ain't a racist, I hate everyone!" and probably end with a glare. I was a horrible human, I was even disgusted with myself
But just a few months ago I started reading some books (Purpose Driven Life and recently The Forgotten God and of course the Bible) and I started praying to God to turn my life around because I was getting tired of the hate and it constantly dragging my emotions around. He answered!
I am no longer angry. I love my parents, I have a job where I meet people, I don't hold any grudges I held back then. Its liberating to feel Gods love in you and spreading to people you touch during the day, even if it is a smile and have a good day sir/ma'am (sometimes that does it). And It's humbling to feel His spirit within you. I thank God for all he has given me to make me the person I am today, the good and the bad.
But just a few months ago I started reading some books (Purpose Driven Life and recently The Forgotten God and of course the Bible) and I started praying to God to turn my life around because I was getting tired of the hate and it constantly dragging my emotions around. He answered!
I am no longer angry. I love my parents, I have a job where I meet people, I don't hold any grudges I held back then. Its liberating to feel Gods love in you and spreading to people you touch during the day, even if it is a smile and have a good day sir/ma'am (sometimes that does it). And It's humbling to feel His spirit within you. I thank God for all he has given me to make me the person I am today, the good and the bad.
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