Must every student date in college?

[Brother Charles Owusu]

Why is there too much pressure in college to find a boyfriend or girlfriend before one graduates? Any ideas?

 

[Saucy]

I don't know if it's specific to college. I know plenty of singles in church who get pressured. Being single in general sort of adds pressure to it.

 

[christianforumsuser]

Why not be spiritually minded than trying to imitate your idea of what looks spiritual

 

[Roseonathorn]

Maybe it is an American Status thing. I don't know. I live in Finland and here women and men are more equal than in many other countries or so I have heard. I never felt pressured by the world to find a mate in college or our similar schools. It is more other people that tries to match You up in case You have those kind of people around You. The best way is to say that I am quite satisfied with myself and if I want a mate I can find Him or then I will ask for Your help. Our women and men are quite free to make their own choices without having society to tell them when they need to get a partner. When I was young Someone said no sexual relations before age 15 but I do not know if that still is the case. Marriage is usually at lowest age 18. Still it surprices me that if a woman puts her facebook picture up no matter her age, she usually gets more unknown male friends than she gets unknown female friends. She only has to look normal. Not even heavily made up either and the people are great people. Maybe we women are a bit afraid of our own sort. Or maybe we do not have time to hang on the net so much.

 

[Dave-W]

I know plenty of singles in church who get pressured.

The church I attended in college FORBADE dating and having a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

 

[christianforumsuser]

I mean it's nice and all to have some high standards but to what end and use
If everyone did good deeds and the world were clean and monogamous
If that were the point of the Bible or religion

In other words if acting self-righteous and cleaning the outside of the pitchers and cups weren't rather still an abomination near harlotry itself

 

[Roseonathorn]

You can only vote yes or yes on that...:/ I vote no. I feel not That society pressure everyone to have a boyfriend or girlfriend in college or similar schools. That is if we talk internationally. That includes all other countries in the world. If we only talk USA then I should not vote.

 

[Roseonathorn]

The church I attended in college FORBADE dating and having a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

Interesting, did they forbid inappropriate content too? I'm so sick of churches where most young men watch inappropriate content and their wives just think it is normal.

 

[Dave-W]

did they forbid inappropriate content too?

Absolutely. It was severely punished. (public shaming)

 

[CitizenD]

Why is there too much pressure in college to find a boyfriend or girlfriend before one graduates? Any ideas?

It's far easier to make connections in college than after. Be it friends or relationships.

The social expectation of dating is, in my opinion, practical in this regard. The college age adult is expected to be forming an independent life, learning about living on their own and dealing with the consequences ( learning) of their choices in their social lives. It is the perfect age to start developing serious relationships.

That said, I still don't see (in the US) the degree of pressure you're referring to.

 

[SamanthaMathis]

There is an expectation to find a mate in college, its pervasive in the US, but many other countries have it far worse. I don't believe in pushing the issue, each have their own way of doing things, some opportunities arise, or fail, at the drop of a hat.

 

[ShadowInTheLight]

Hi, only being a tech school freshman, I've little experience with this kind of pressure. What I can say is that having friends or acquaintances who are very much looking for that kind of attention makes all the difference in how prevalent it seems. I have a friend that was invested in a bad relationship prior to college/uni, and it ended up leading her down a darker road of hooking up with random guys on the internet because she craved the attention and intimacy the old relationship left lingering in the air. It was at first simply a way to "get over him," but it became a habit of hers. She has mentioned in the past that she wants to stop because she knows it's unsafe, but I'm not sure how successful that's been. I do hope she's learned how to handle it, because she's very lucky to not have been harmed worse. Although I've always known her to be a bit of a "you never know unless you try" kind of a person, so maybe it has more to do with that in the long run. I guess my point is, its severity can be different for any one person.

 

[*Jesus Freak*]

You know we always here people find there future husbands and wives in college so I think that may add to the pressure of trying to find a mate. As for myself I really wasn't looking but it just happened. I met this wonderful guy who we just started talking and eventually went for coffee and then just over a year ago we officially started dating. It wasn't like we were searching we just enjoyed each others company and decided why not since we did enjoy each others company spend more time together. So we did just that.

 

[Soyeong]

Why is there too much pressure in college to find a boyfriend or girlfriend before one graduates? Any ideas?

Someone who is in college generally has much more social interaction on an ongoing basis with other people in their age range, who have have similar interests, and who might also be looking for a girl or boyfriend. If it is not interfering with studies, then it is an ideal time to find someone to build a relationship with, and may even be the best opportunity that we will have. After college when we in theory find a job and a place to live, then it can become much more difficult to have an active social live and meet new people our age with similar interests. I never felt any pressure to find a girlfriend, but the amount of pressure someone feels varies depending upon them and the people they know.

 

[Roseonathorn]

I actually knew my husband a little since childhood but He never did show me any interest in school or church only after I came home after being abroad for three years, then I was interesting for Him.

 

[keith99]

Why is there too much pressure in college to find a boyfriend or girlfriend before one graduates? Any ideas?

That is not what I saw when I was in college. I still occasionally go out drinking with some of the students and it also is not what I see today.

College is an environment where there are lots of members of the other sex and where one gets thrown into chances to meet people of your own age a lot. From classes (which change every quarter or semester), dorms (which change every year), social clubs, athletic teams or just who tends to eat at the same places or times. It is not surprising that many do find someone they really like of the opposite sex. It is somewhat surprising to me that anyone feels pressure to date these days. Perhaps for the women in my parents day, but not now.

 

[kittysbecute]

I was never pressured to date in college. My priority was mostly on school, and I intentionally didn't look to date my last two years of university because I was paying for my tuition and not going to let anything distract me from being successful and learning in college. But I never lived on a campus so perhaps that makes a difference. Who does the pressuring? College peers? Parents? Self? If you know that maybe you can figure out why.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

I was never pressured to date in college. My priority was mostly on school, and I intentionally didn't look to date my last two years of university because I was paying for my tuition and not going to let anything distract me from being successful and learning in college. But I never lived on a campus so perhaps that makes a difference. Who does the pressuring? College peers? Parents? Self? If you know that maybe you can figure out why.

Same thing I noticed. In college no one I knew was trying to date. In high school people were constantly dating but once I got to college no one wanted to date cause they wanted to be free to party and hook up. I was the same as you though too worried about school.

 

[kittysbecute]

Same thing I noticed. In college no one I knew was trying to date. In high school people were constantly dating but once I got to college no one wanted to date cause they wanted to be free to party and hook up. I was the same as you though too worried about school.

I was pretty concerned about the price of school and finances. I spent my free time working a part time job, and I knew that it would be unwise to have the distractions of dating. However if someone asked me out, maybe I would have said okay if I liked them. I just wasn't really looking to date and no worries about it. All of my roommates were dating or engaged when I lived in an apartment off campus, but I never felt any pressure to go out and date.

 

[SamanthaMathis]

I was more concerned with fitness and finding a job that wasn't entry level. There were many instances of being asked out, but I could never commit to meeting them and was too busy (and possibly stressed) enough to meet at a specific time, but I never could say no. I believe in giving anyone a chance.