I'm 25 years old (soon to be 26, in 3 months), the thought of moving out has been lingering in my head for about a year now. I currently live with my parents, and I have always wanted it to be this way until I got married. I have spoken to my mom (she is Christian) and she has advised me remain living with them until marriage, while my dad (not Christian) is not kicking me out, but would like for me to do it, he believes I will learn more about myself this way.
Marriage should be prepared for. First by growing in godliness. That's not an ethereal thing. Not some airy-fairy ideal. It comes to bear in practical, every-day things. One of the things required for a man is to provide for his own. Getting the most experience before marriage is a wise thing. That can include things like learning how to manage your living space, home repairs, budgeting a mortgage or rent, and etc. All those domestic things that are indeed a burden and need to be known to be a responsible adult. Sure, you can learn that as you go when you're newly married, but is that the wisest choice? Jesus lived on his own at at least some point in his life and he wasn't married. Same with his disciples.
There's also the subtle (and not so subtle) emotional growth involved in being on your own. Not being overseen by the mom and dad, but requiring yourself to be responsible to God for how you manage your time. You'll be in that situation someday anyway. I believe the godliest option is to exercise your manhood and responsibility before God now in every way possible, rather than later.
Whenever I've heard from people who stayed with their parents until marriage,one of the most common threads is that they wish they had had time to develop their "responsibility muscles" for a while before they got married and then also had the added concerns of developing a relationship with their spouse.
I know the scriptures say, to remain home with your parents until marriage, but one thing I have always wanted to experience before ever marrying is living on my own. What's your opinion on this?
The interpretation that the scriptures demand a man to stay living under the same roof as his parents until he is married is a rather tenuous one. You may want to delve deeply into that doctrine, going to original language, intent, audience, etc.
*A bit of background, I currently have a good job, I go to school part time (I do not pay for tuition, my employer pays it for me), if I were to move out, its not going to happen right away, the earliest it would happen would be 6-8 months from now.
Very good! Sounds like you've got a lot going for you. That's great to hear that you're not just loafing. I myself am still with the parents after years of education and interning and am now launching my own business. However, I am planning on moving out when I can so that I have the responsibility of land ownership, time management and etc.
There's another facet to consider. Your parents. They have their own marriage and their own dynamic. They've been married for a long time and perhaps they need more time to themselves. If they are in disagreement over what you should be doing, then they are likely in a stressed situation. In my situation, my parents are in a tense relationship and they need to be alone. They, in some small ways, rely on me to bring peace to the house. I have to run interference for them in sublte ways. You're parents' relationship is paramount. Even more important than your relationship with them. Get out, give them space. Also, if your father is telling you to do something and it's not unbiblical, technically his opinion is to be taken over your mother's.
People from different backgrounds and cultures have very different views on this kind of thing... you may think it's way too old but there are a lot of people who think it's strange to move out before marriage.
Exactly. Each culture has their own morais and they need to be examined by scripture to determine if they're blatantly anti biblical. If not, then we can do them. If so, we must reject them. Some cultures think it's okay to stay at home for a long, long time. Others are the opposite. I believe that staying under your parents roof can have a ungodly effect on a person's life if not carefully done (so can living on one's own, though), but furthermore doesn't allow a person to learn the full responsibilities of domestic management.
I'm familiar with some Italian friends where it's very common for sons to live with their parents well into their thirties. It's very common for dating relationships and engagements to last close to a decade (at least in Sicily). Just because their culture says it's okay, does that make it right? There is biblical evidence that long engagements, long "courtships" and prolonged time living at home is not usually the most God honoring behavior.
That's just one example of a culture, though.
