Moved too fast, now it's weird..

[KGirl]

Dude, I don't know what to do. I started to talk to this guy, and we moved way too quickly. We did talk some, but not enough for how physical we were. We didn't "go out" but acted like it. Kissed (um, plus some more...). Now it's just weird, mostly for him. I mean, I don't mind being around him/being his friend. It's weird for him to be around me. It's been weird for a short while. Should I give it more time, or just give up? Is there no point for people to try being friends if they have such a lousy base? Gosh, I hate this, because I feel like I have an attatchment to him. He was my friend when no one else was.

Here's the little part I might need to mention.. When I started to hang out with him, I got this bad gut feeling. I told him about it, but ya know..

 

[charligirl]

Gosh, I hate this, because I feel like I have an attatchment to him. He was my friend when no one else was.

Here's the little part I might need to mention.. When I started to hang out with him, I got this bad gut feeling. I told him about it, but ya know..

Been there many times in my past my advice is get out now... and I think you already know this or you wouldn't have that conviction in your gut

You probably do have a connection with him, we can have all sorts of spiritual connections with others... Good and bad! you could have been attracted by a familiar spirit in the first place and after your physical activity you could well have developed a soul tie with him... I have had to break many of these with men, be honest with God, repent and ask Him to cut every ungodly connection and tie with this man by His holy spirit.

Importantly though, do not beat yourself up about it, there is no condemnation for those in Christ...

 

[JillLars]

I agree with charligirl, its probably a good idea to just remain on good terms with him, but avoid being friends with him because it could lead to further temptation in the future.

I to have had experiences like this, and they have come back to haunt me, i.e. the guy decides he doesn't feel weird, wants to be friends again, but then asks to "do stuff" and puts me in a weird situation, its best to just end things so you don't have to deal with that sort of junk in the future.

 

[DaveKerwin]

time to learn a hard lesson.

 

[Katty]

I've been in your shoes before... swept up by infatuation and one thing leads to another and therefore adds strings to places where there doesn't need to be. Physical touch leads to further attachments that do not need to be there. Needless to say, I don't talk to the guys that I was involved with too far, too fast, and too soon. Once you cross that line of beyond "friendship" where physical bounds have been crossed, things will be weird and it makes it harder to walk away from even if its the right thing to do. Hard lesson learned indeed. If you still want to be friends, it rests in his court now. You can't force things to be there when he doesn't want them there.

~Katty~

 

[SirKenin]

Ummm. Why do you need to do anything? Just leave it alone. If he's concerned about it and it feels wierd for him, let him make the move. As far as I can see, the ball isn't in your court. Just IMO of course.

 

[MusicMelOU]

I'm really tired of everyone saying to get out of relationships on this forum if things aren't going picture-perfect; no relationship will ever be perfect. That might be the best option, but at least try to work things out; go talk to a pastor or someone in the church. Maybe all you need is a person to help keep you accountable

 

[Katty]

I'm really tired of everyone saying to get out of relationships on this forum if things aren't going picture-perfect; no relationship will ever be perfect. That might be the best option, but at least try to work things out; go talk to a pastor or someone in the church. Maybe all you need is a person to help keep you accountable

"You can't force things to be there when he doesn't want them there." With experience comes "wisdom".... so I hope.

~Katty~

 

[The Whammy]

I can relate to moving too fast...and feeling awkward, ashamed and confused about the relationship as a result. These are consequences of my behavior, but they can be positive in the sense that God allows us to feel things when they are wrong.

One thing I've found is that time is the best thing to heal the relationship. But if I'm tempted to keep after the relationship, it's better to let it go.

--Chris

 

[KGirl]

Well, I don't feel like I still wanna be with him at all like that whatnot.. Ya'll are right though I shouldn't try to push anything..

 

[MusicMelOU]

To me it sounds like a soul-searching time where you and he need to both have some deep fellowship with God. Pray about it and decide which way God wants you to go to heal it. Maybe breaking up and starting fresh is the best option; I was in this situation in the past and after a long time of prayer I felt in my heart that it was the right thing to do, and I know my decision was right with God. But then again, maybe God has meant the two of you to be together and is using this situation to strengthen you as a couple. We here on the board will never know all the details of everything; only God does. Just keep God close to you and be honest with yourself and go through with what you feel, after fellowship with Him, is right.

 

[KGirl]

We aren't together lol. We only officially "dated" for less then a day. I had decided that I shouldn't date, and work on my relationship with God. He wanted to date, but later decided he shouldn't date and then just stopped liking me like that. We had a hard time just acting like friends though. We acted like we were together.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Soemtimes, you can share a moment with someone and it is nothing more than that.
You are two friends who shared.
Don't try to figure it out.

 

[Ballerina]

In my experience, starting a relationship off with physical intimacy as the foundation simply never amounts to a hill of beans. It will never be fulfilling and you will always be paranoid as to whether or not he cares about you.