This is my first post. I am in need and stumbled on this website in search of answers and guidance.
My question is, how is money supposed to work in a Christian marriage? I have my own opinion, but what do I do when my spouse has an opposing opinion?
A little background. My husband and I have been together 5 years and married 1 year. No kids, just bought our first home, moving from our parents where we didn't pay major bills. We agree on a lot about money but the things we don't agree on are very important.
Before marriage we decided to put everything into one bank account: my husband wasn't sure about it but I let him know that was important to me.
My husband makes twice as much as me but we work the same amount of hours. He has a physical labor job and I work in an office. Our issues really started when we discussed household work. My husband believes that because he physically works harder and makes more money that, for the most part, all responsibilities at home should fall to me. He does help around the house with trash, feeding dogs, if I'm lucky dishes.. sometimes without me begging for help.
For me, marriage means one person. It means one bank account, one unit making financial decisions and one unit splitting the burden of the family and what it takes to keep a household running. Which brings me to our next disagreement.
My husband believes, that if he works over 40 hours a week, whether with his employer or on his own with a side job, that money is his to keep and spend as he wishes. I cannot find the words to describe how these two issues makes me feel. Why does he want to keep any money separate? I've never denied a purchase that was important to him. I have requested to delay purchases but never denied.
I've tried opening the line of communication with my husband. I have explained my views. I've suggested I go back to school so that I can find a higher paying job so I can fill the gap in our income inequality. That way I would still be working the same amount of hours, earning the same income and then we can split the housework. I feel it's the best solution besides us as one unit sharing all work and income. He shut me down, going into debt for school is out of the question. Wrongfully, I suggested I get a second job, which means I double my hours to 80, then we can split the housework. He shut me down again, he would never see me. That wouldn't have helped me anyway.
It hurts, I am so unhappy financially and with my work load. My burden is heavy and I'm growing weary. I've been looking for help and advice. Even have a book coming today about money and marriage God's way.
We are to the point where we don't have any money left at the end of the month after paying for the bare necessities. My husband has his side job money but that is "his money". I don't want to spend money on myself or buy anything essential because I'm not spending "my money". I don't even feel like I am spending "our money". I feel like it is all his and he doesn't think I am contributing my fair share.
Someone please help. Advise, prayers, suggested readings.
My question is, how is money supposed to work in a Christian marriage? I have my own opinion, but what do I do when my spouse has an opposing opinion?
A little background. My husband and I have been together 5 years and married 1 year. No kids, just bought our first home, moving from our parents where we didn't pay major bills. We agree on a lot about money but the things we don't agree on are very important.
Before marriage we decided to put everything into one bank account: my husband wasn't sure about it but I let him know that was important to me.
My husband makes twice as much as me but we work the same amount of hours. He has a physical labor job and I work in an office. Our issues really started when we discussed household work. My husband believes that because he physically works harder and makes more money that, for the most part, all responsibilities at home should fall to me. He does help around the house with trash, feeding dogs, if I'm lucky dishes.. sometimes without me begging for help.
For me, marriage means one person. It means one bank account, one unit making financial decisions and one unit splitting the burden of the family and what it takes to keep a household running. Which brings me to our next disagreement.
My husband believes, that if he works over 40 hours a week, whether with his employer or on his own with a side job, that money is his to keep and spend as he wishes. I cannot find the words to describe how these two issues makes me feel. Why does he want to keep any money separate? I've never denied a purchase that was important to him. I have requested to delay purchases but never denied.
I've tried opening the line of communication with my husband. I have explained my views. I've suggested I go back to school so that I can find a higher paying job so I can fill the gap in our income inequality. That way I would still be working the same amount of hours, earning the same income and then we can split the housework. I feel it's the best solution besides us as one unit sharing all work and income. He shut me down, going into debt for school is out of the question. Wrongfully, I suggested I get a second job, which means I double my hours to 80, then we can split the housework. He shut me down again, he would never see me. That wouldn't have helped me anyway.
It hurts, I am so unhappy financially and with my work load. My burden is heavy and I'm growing weary. I've been looking for help and advice. Even have a book coming today about money and marriage God's way.
We are to the point where we don't have any money left at the end of the month after paying for the bare necessities. My husband has his side job money but that is "his money". I don't want to spend money on myself or buy anything essential because I'm not spending "my money". I don't even feel like I am spending "our money". I feel like it is all his and he doesn't think I am contributing my fair share.
Someone please help. Advise, prayers, suggested readings.