The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.
If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.
If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.
Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
Well, I don't know about your particular tastes, but most men prefer curvier women to stick thin women. They've done lots of studies, and a curvier woman is considered more attractive by most of the men in every survey and study. A stick thin woman looks like a boy or a kid, so a woman with thin legs is not going to be as sexually appealing as a woman with shapely legs. There's a reason why dancers' legs are considered attractive, it is not because they are stick thin.
And, thin women can wear tank tops, but curvier women probably shouldn't. A top on Kelly Ripa might be okay- but the same top on Sophia Vergara would be indecent. So thin women can generally get away with wearing things thata curvy woman can not.
I heard this definition of a lady. I like it very much: A lady is a woman who makes a man want to be a gentleman.
I am so sorry about what you've had to go through.Wow, I am so sorry that happened to you! My sister and I were taken advantage of by our brother when we were very young and I know the problem lied with him and not with our little girl clothing. I have a friend who was also taken advantage of by her brothers and she was made to dress in very over-the-op modest clothes; again, it had nothing to do with what she was wearing. This proves the point that if males want to lust they will do it; if they have lust in their heart, then it doesn't matter if the female is wearing a potato sack. Interesting facts in both my friend's and my families are that: 1) We were made to wear clothes that covered very well and still had that happen to us.
2) During the time the behavior was going on, both my friend and I were scrutinized by our brothers for "immodest clothing" (I still remember my brother tattling on me to my father for having 'immodest shorts' when I was 8 years old) even though they were doing very immoral things to us.
3) Our parents preached about how girls need to cover up so as not to cause lust in the male and both my friend and I do not remember our parents teaching the boys not to have lustful eyes toward women.
And last, this is kind of related: My dad would have these purity talks with us, likening a girl who did things before marriage to a used car, and 'Wouldn't you rather drive a new car than a car that was used?' He would say that girls who have done things before marriage were like cars that were taken on many test drives. Now, I am all for purity before marriage, I find it very important and what God calls us to do. BUT:
1) The message was directed at how dirty a girl becomes and I do not remember the male having anything to do with it in that teaching, when both males and females are to blame (often males more so because they often initiate things and convince the girl to do it).
2) Purity, while very important to God, is not where our worth lies.
The message my father would preach is sadly a recurrent theme throughout the church. They focus so much on sex before marriage and probably not enough on other important things God expects of us and they like to shift the blame on women for sex outside of marriage. I have even read an analogy to a girl being like chewed up gum.
It's just rather maddening...how women are viewed as something so degrading for being "used", but often nothing really was directed at the males who "used' them.
Back to the topic of modesty though, another topic I'd like to mention is just because a woman has a more "womanly" body does not mean that she should feel ashamed and have to hide her curves just because she is more "sexually appealing". I am not at all saying she should in anyway flaunt it like a fishing lure as Kim Kardashian does, but she shouldn't have to feel like a lewd woman for simply having curves. I get that women with a more athletic build can "get away" with a lot more because they might not show cleavage etc., but simply having an attractive body is not her fault. It is also not a sin for a male to find her attractive, he just shouldn't lust after her. The same friend who was taken advantage of by her brothers has a very curvy figure and because of the message preached in her household, she thought she needed wear shapeless tops that went up very high because she didn't want to cause a boy to stumble. Her stepmother has even told her her clothes were too tight just because they fit her well and she happens to be very curvy, and complimented her outfit when it was very baggy and unflattering on her. I just don't believe women who are well-endowed should be made to feel ashamed and a sexual object just because of her natural shape, and that she needs to conceal herself because some man might find her sexually attractive! I read a great quote one time regarding modesty and likening it to the beautiful flowers God created: "Shall we throw a tarp over our flowerbeds?"
I believe that there is something in everyone of us. Make and female alike that wants very much to be the perfect model of a man and the perfect model of a woman (and I don't mean outwardly...I mean inwardly)Of course not. Not every woman is a lady. Miley Cyrus is a young woman, but certainly NOT a young lady, by any stretch of the imagination.
I should hope she doesn't want to be like that. I think in a way, you are right. There is a God-shaped hole in every heart. But, I also think there are people who are satisfied enjoying the pleasures of sin. Kind of like Esau, they think about what feels good and don't really think about spiritual matters that much, if at all. Hedonism, I suppose- it seems to be the prevailing philosophy of the day. "It's your thing, do what you want to do."I believe that there is something in everyone of us. Make and female alike that wants very much to be the perfect model of a man and the perfect model of a woman (and I don't mean outwardly...I mean inwardly)
But I believe that the world and disappointments cause many to be hardened only to protect themselves from being hurt
What I am saying is I'm not sure that a Miley Cyrus really wants to be what she portrays herself to be
Of course not. Not every woman is a lady. Miley Cyrus is a young woman, but certainly NOT a young lady, by any stretch of the imagination.
Well, Miley Cyrus has no grace or manners. I suppose she IS distinctive for the wrong reasons.
I guess it depends on whether the word 'grace' is being used in a general way or a specifically Biblical and theological way.Are grace and manners synonymous?
I guess it depends on whether the word 'grace' is being used in a general way or a specifically Biblical and theological way.
I guess this was my point; it's being used differently.When referring to a person, how can grace be used in a theological way?
Not necessarily. A woman may have good manners but not be graceful in her movements. Clumsy women can have good manners.
I doubt a woman with bad manners can be graceful. They don't go together, one would think.
any young woman.
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