Mixed Messages

[Ruth~]

How do you tell if someone, namely a man, really likes you. I seem to be getting mixed messages from this man. He won't hardly open up to me at all but he is nice and compliments me a lot. I know a lot of men especially can't seem to open up.

 

[MMXII]

I don't think I'm qualified to answer this. Maybe some of our men can chime in.

 

[porterross]

I think if you sense the messages are mixed, you already have your answer. That's not to say things won't change.
Maybe he's not sure how to behave. They can be quite intimidated by the thought of rejection, poor dears.

 

[Heart of a Seeker]

I agree with Dawn - ask a man.

 

[wayfaringstranger]

A lot of us are just painfully shy like me. It just takes some encouragement. Believe it or not alot of us guys are alot more sensitive than you might think.. Some are like me, have a fear of rejection and are afraid of getting hurt again.

 

[bvwsmaker]

What kind of signals is he receiving from you when he's nice or complimentary? Maybe he's trying to "read" if he really has a chance? Also, maybe he's not one of the extroverted personalities that love to talk.

What else can you tell us about him? And the biggest question is - Do you want him to be interested in you?

 

[MN John]

I know a lot of men especially can't seem to open up.

I think that's a red flag.

 

[Ruth~]

What kind of signals is he receiving from you when he's nice or complimentary? Maybe he's trying to "read" if he really has a chance? Also, maybe he's not one of the extroverted personalities that love to talk.

What else can you tell us about him? And the biggest question is - Do you want him to be interested in you?

He told me that he wants to be friends here. I am interested in him but don't even know what he looks like, shows I like his personaliry. He is very outspoken but not about his personal life. I think he just wants to be friends and that's okay with me. But sometimes it seems like he is very interested in me. Maybe a good friend?

 

[Ruth~]

I think that's a red flag.

Maybe or maybe it's being on the internet and not wanting to divulge too much on here?

 

[TheAJKMan]

A lot of us are just painfully shy like me. It just takes some encouragement. Believe it or not alot of us guys are alot more sensitive than you might think.. Some are like me, have a fear of rejection and are afraid of getting hurt again.

I'm with WFS on this one, sometimes it helps to grab the bull by the horns and talk to him. Tell him how you feel and what you think is happening. How you're feeling confused by what to you are mixed messages etc etc. See how that goes. Either that or talk to folk who've seen the 2 of you together and ask for their counsel/opinion. It took someone telling me that my wife, then g/f was "throwing" herself at me for me to get the idea she was interested, so maybe you need to decide in yor heart how you feel about him and lay your cards on the table and take it from there.


theajkman

 

[covenantwmn]

I think that's a red flag.

I agree, within reason of course. I mean he might not be sure himself. But I do believe, if it's right and of the Lord, he'll open up enough to find out whether you care or not. Small risks allow us to get more info while still protecting ourselves. Blessings.

 

[bvwsmaker]

He told me that he wants to be friends here. I am interested in him but don't even know what he looks like, shows I like his personaliry. He is very outspoken but not about his personal life. I think he just wants to be friends and that's okay with me. But sometimes it seems like he is very interested in me. Maybe a good friend?

Ahhh, the internet friendship. Are you PMing each other or just conversing through threads? If just through threads, then maybe he's being cautious as you've stated in a post above.

Sometimes I need to be asked a specific question to focus my answer (or even to make me aware this might be an area that others might be curious about). I don't know if he's the same way or not.

Good friends are always worth keeping!

 

[Ruth~]

Ahhh, the internet friendship. Are you PMing each other or just conversing through threads? If just through threads, then maybe he's being cautious as you've stated in a post above.

Sometimes I need to be asked a specific question to focus my answer (or even to make me aware this might be an area that others might be curious about). I don't know if he's the same way or not.

Good friends are always worth keeping!

Yes, sometimes it's better to be friends than anything else!!

 

[porterross]

Ruth. That is exactly how I started with my sweetie.....over a year and a half ago. These things take time to be whatever they are going to be. Trust in God to guide you and you'll be fine.

 

[loribee59]

Ruth, I just started an online friendship with someone here. He's a bit more open than I am, but I'm willing to open up as well. But it will take time for me, as I've been 'burned' by online friendship with women for several years, so I tend to be cautious, considering the lessons I've learned!

So I'm guessing that your 'friend' been 'burned' the same way as I have been and is a bit cautious about opening up. Give him (and yourself) time to open up. Don't rush the friendship, either. One thing I've learned from past online friendships, and I quote my best friend: " My philosophy on emotions is if you don't let your emotions get too high off the ground, it won't hurt as much if they come crashing back down"

hope this helps!

 

[Heart of a Seeker]

That's a good answer, but men view things differently than we do. Our emotions are much different than theirs - our emotional make-up is different - a God given difference. We, as women, may have more ups and downs than men do. I think it's really good that Ruth has opened this question up so that we can see the different answers that come up between the sexes.

 

[loribee59]

You got a point there, Seeking!

I've forgotten the "Men from Mars, Women from Venus" type of thing. I just naturally thought about what I've learned from online friendships; mostly from women.

There's something else I wanna add:

Even though I'm enjoying the time I had with my friend right now, he could very well not be 'THE ONE' but with the right attitude, I can really thank God that he was there for a season in my life...there is a reason/purpose for God putting someone in my path, and that's ok. I just move on with good memories.

 

[Ruth~]

Ruth. That is exactly how I started with my sweetie.....over a year and a half ago. These things take time to be whatever they are going to be. Trust in God to guide you and you'll be fine.

Thank you. I will trust in God about this.

 

[Ruth~]

Ruth, I just started an online friendship with someone here. He's a bit more open than I am, but I'm willing to open up as well. But it will take time for me, as I've been 'burned' by online friendship with women for several years, so I tend to be cautious, considering the lessons I've learned!

So I'm guessing that your 'friend' been 'burned' the same way as I have been and is a bit cautious about opening up. Give him (and yourself) time to open up. Don't rush the friendship, either. One thing I've learned from past online friendships, and I quote my best friend: " My philosophy on emotions is if you don't let your emotions get too high off the ground, it won't hurt as much if they come crashing back down"

hope this helps!

Sometimes I open up too fast and get let down.But I haven't opened up as much as I could. I will take things slow. I know we are good friends now and I will accept it as it is. If there is anything else meant to be that would be for the future and we can't know the future.

 

[Ruth~]

You got a point there, Seeking!

I've forgotten the "Men from Mars, Women from Venus" type of thing. I just naturally thought about what I've learned from online friendships; mostly from women.

There's something else I wanna add:

Even though I'm enjoying the time I had with my friend right now, he could very well not be 'THE ONE' but with the right attitude, I can really thank God that he was there for a season in my life...there is a reason/purpose for God putting someone in my path, and that's ok. I just move on with good memories.

Very wise words. I'd never thought of that. That's really nice!